Monday, October 16, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
POR FAVOR!!
A friend of mine is in a band that has made it to the finals of a competition to tour with Papa Roach. It is a huge opp. for his band, which is very, very good by the way. PLEASE, PLEASE go to the following link and do the voting. It takes 3 minutes.
The band is called SOUNDS UNDER RADIO. That's right humans: SOUNDS UNDER RADIO. This will really mean a lot to the most talented dude I know.
GO to the following site http://www.sonicbids.com/voting/default.asp?poll_id=112 and go from there. Three minutes.
Ethan Albright, an offensive lineman for the Washington Redskins wrote this article after discovering his "ratings" on Madden 2007. Very funny article that I thought all would enjoy...
http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=3159&SectionID=2&LayoutType=1
-bw
p.s. - take the AZ Cardinals money line.
Friday, October 13, 2006
You ever want to see a stoned professer teach a class? Well, Google Video has the most amazing video.... it's kind of long, but worth it of you have the time... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9085610229984937407&hl=en
Thursday, October 12, 2006
I’m moving to London.
Yep, after 2 and a half years of a long distance relationship, I was the one who broke. A few months ago, I applied to grad schools in London. Last week, I was accepted to the London College of Design. I will get to be as gay as I always wanted to be, learning how to design everything from buildings to furniture. School starts January 2007. Also, Piper got a job in London where she will be coordinating communications between museums in London and Dubai. It’s an awesome opportunity for her, and after much deliberation, I have decided it makes a lot of sense. I’m 25. I’m closer to 30 than 20, as is everyone in the Inner Circle (digest that, friends). The program is only a year long. You can get you masters in half the time because of the exchange rate (kidding).
This is when the internet is a wonderful tool- many of you will barely notice I’m gone. Long live the BLOG!
Cheers, Lord Faust (official name change from Le Faust)
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Get to your local art house and check out these gems...
Little Miss Sunshine
The best comedy of the year. It is in wide release now so you don't need to find a hipster theatre to watch this wonderful film.
Critics Consensus: A moving satire about a dysfunctional family obsessed with winning, Little Miss Sunshine captivates and convulses with its perfectly-cast ensemble and delightfully funny script.
A
Jesus Camp
There is a scene where the children are worshiping a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. Yikes!
Critics Consensus: Evangelical indoctrination is given an unflinching, even-handed look in this utterly worthwhile documentary.
A-
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
A surprisingly sweet film about honesty and beastiality.
Critics Consensus:
An impulsive sexual encounter from her past haunts Amy, an otherwise seemingly normal young woman, but her fiancé has suggested that the couple be completely honest and tell each other everything!
B
Monday, October 09, 2006
When Brian Weiss ``dissed'' my attempt at `Jam o' the week' and suggested a Hip-Hop selection, I gots tos thinkings. Seeing as that my ghetto experience in Tennekee has crunked me up and endeared me to the lyrical echoes of Hip-Hop, I wondered...If we were Rappers, which oh which one would we be...........?
Lubahn: Slim Shady.
Easy right? It gets better. Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was arrested over the summer in Detroit for punching a man in the restroom of a Strip Club.
Insert edit: Brent Lubahn, aka Jack's Baby Momma, was arrested at Fort Worth's NON strip club this summer for repeated Shin Kicks to his `Best Man' AFaustizzle. As for cause, Lubahn blamed an unidentified substance ``Da Irty''. He then clapped his hands together in short, sharp bursts while yelling ``oooooooohhhhh''.
Portillo: Ludacris
This guy is always in need of a shave and hurcut. He also keeps his themes primitive and simple, as evidenced by his album `Chicken and Beer'. Distancing himself from others, Ludtillo has stirred up some political commentary:
Shout out to Bill O'Reilly, I'm'a throw you a curve
You mad cause I'm a thief and got away with words
I'm'a start my own beverage, it'll calm your nerves
Pepsi's the New Generation?—Blow it out cha ass!
Hmm, unitelligble banter, sounds fuhmilyer.
Kevin: Bubba Sparxxxx
After extensive research, I just couldn't imagine Kevin black. It just doesn't fit. Black guys don't like Pink Floyd and Rex Grossman. They don't even know who they are. Bubba is known to enjoy a bottle of beam, a splif of gonja and a female, as in understood in this poetic brilliance:
``But I got to drank, cant even thank, unless I'm tanked, I'm already high ''
Mazur: Lupe Fiasco
This little guy is known from his rapper fashion eclecticities, including white and green shoes and adidas jackets. Known as a devout Muslim/Catholic, Lupe is yet to get a tattoo, however his experiments in Henna indicate his interest. Both are Kanye cronies.
Weiss: Prince
Curly hair, crushed velvet attire and eye-liner. It's a match. Sorry Weiss, as you know I think you're much more like RuPaul, but I can see you yelling `Shoot the Jumper. Shoot it!'' in a game of shirts versus blouses. I can also see you changing your name to a symbol and understanding what it sounds like when doves cry.
Miller: Master P
Did you know Master's P's real name is Percy MILLER. Read: `While Miller was tempted by the lure of the street hustling that was a part of life in inner-city Round Rock, he developed an entrepreneurial streak early on, as well as a passion for sports. Miller used his skills as a baseball player to earn an Imaginary college scholarship to the University of Stanford, where he studied Solitaire''
Wow, uncanny. Also, who else can more accurately be described as ``A No Limit Soldier''.
Clint: MC Hammer
Is it just me, or can you all envision MC Brown with the ``staircase'' or ``claw marks'' shaved into his head? Alongisde the blatant fashion foopahs and massive fortune, Clint is the only one of us who I feel is ``Too Legit to Quit''. And Clint, if you read this, ``Please Hammer, don't hurt me''.
Chambone: Andre 3000
He's sort of the punk of the Rap industry, with his absurd clothing and vibrant style. Now, Bone, yes, you probably received the most complimentary nomination, and besides Stankonia wreaking like you, Andre's aliases are: "Dre" (his original moniker), "Possum Aloysius Jenkins", "Dookie", the reversed "Benjamin André" and "Johnny Vulture". All I can think of are Radcat, Sticks, Skinny kid, Ravealicious, Tabathon, Ecstacyasaurs, and Bone, which are of course, your aliases.
Faust: Lil Wayne or Lil' Weezy
Did you know Lil Weezy, who hails from New Orleans, got his start from his Daddy, Da Birdman, and his latest rhyme is titled `Stuntin' Like My Daddy' from the Album `Like Father, Like Son'. Also, Weezy is not the most humble cat from da Dirty Souf' as is evidenced by his song titled `Best Rapper Alive', with an opening chorus touting "Who am I...the best rapper alive."
In recent Weezy news: He was recently arrested on charges of possession of less than 1 ounce of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance. Police claim the rapper was in possession of several unlabeled bottles — one containing 60 pills of Paxil, that is used to treat anxiety disorders and panic attacks; another containing 59 hydrocodone pills — along with "two small burnt joints of marijuana," the report read.
That's eerie.
Butz: Eazy E
Died of AIDS. Rest in Peace Young Blood.
Some similiarities between the Rapping legend and St. Louy legend:
He was 5'5".
He used to drive a red Suzuki Samurai.
Quotes
"I don't give a fuck what color you are. The color of money is green."
"I use condoms. I don't want to fuck around with AIDS and herpes and all that. But, if I need it, I got a big-ass bottle of tetracycline and another gang of pills."
A-Chub: Ice Cube
Now, you might think I'm proud of this nomination, I however, am not. Despite the similarities in proportion (chubby), Ice Cube was fired from his job in Friday for stealing. Last week, I, A-Chub, was fired from my job for being a lazy azz cracka. This Friday, I'm coming home to Dallas and will undoubtedly cross paths with my friend ``Smoky'' Faust. I can see it now: Friday night, after an unsucessful evening of attempting to charm girls named Tiffany, we will stumble into his apartment, where, after a few cigarettes, he'll pull out his tool box and say ``C'mon man, it's Friday. You aint got no job, and you aint got shit to do!''.
Then I'll kick a giant's ass in the street and drink kool-aid.
PEEEEAZZZ OUT HONKEYS!!
One
But, baseball has real history. It is almost as old as this country. It is a beautiful game filled with intricacies that can take a lifetime to understand. It has superstitions, curses, and larger-than-life legends. Babe Ruth, Roberto Clemente, and Jackie Robinson are more than athletes. They defined generations. They were beacons of strength in the face of racial intolerance. Baseball is the ultimate bridge between generations. As a 10 year old I sat with Lou Brock and contrasted Bip Roberts baserunning style to his own. That may be the only thing Lou and I had in common, but it was enough to allow us to talk for over an hour. And, if you ever had a father or coach that passed it on to you, it is your duty to teach your child how to play, and respect, and love the game of baseball. I still lose it everytime I watch the last scene in Field of Dreams, when Ray Kinsella asks his father, “Dad, you wanna have a catch?”
That's baseball.
But it can be enjoyed on a much simpler level. As Lee pointed out, there is nothing better than drinking on a summer afternoon at a ball game.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
So last week I asked brown on some literature that would help introduce me to the market in general. He responded to my text, then I sent him my response back with the handle "shits for brains" and I did not hear back from him all week. It made me laugh at 7:30 am my time and 9:30 his, because I knew it probably grated him. The reason why I bring this up is because I really need to start getting into the market, I'm talking wall street baby. Butz you too. Why do you ask? Because all week I spend my extra brain cells trying to figure out my weekly picks and on a time to earning ratio my 10 dollars wagers are not putting me into another tax bracket.
But this is being done in preparatory fashion for the Vegas vacation. Where I will try and lay some big money on the line. Not as much as I did the last time we were there, but more than 10 dollars I can tell you that.
A few observations. The Colts and USC are over rated. Cal is going to finally punk USC at home this year and I am not just saying that cause I saw Radiohead play live on the Berkeley campus this year, although that did endear me to them for eternity.
The bears are pretty darn sick bear. Drew Bledsoe looked like he had a concussion in the second half today, bring in Romo. Also it is a strange observation that sports get me to cheer against a person like Mcnabb and for TO.
Major League Baseball is a fucking joke of a product. That worthless league plays 126 boring games for 32 teams. So what is that, 4032 games over 7 months. Then only 8 teams go on and the majority of the games are over in the first 6 days of the post season. Didn't the playoffs start on Wednesday and now every first round match is over with most of the games being played during the week while people are at work. I don't understand their logic and think they deserve to fall below hockey for second worst Major sports league in the US. In front of MLS of course with the WNBA only being recognized by Weiss as an actual major league.
NOTE: The only reason baseball has any value is that there is nothing on ESPN during the summer anyway AND drinking at the games during the day is fun. But I never care who wins. So is this because of the baseball or in spite of it just because I'm a burgeoning genetic alcoholic?
Saturday, October 07, 2006
http://www.hecklerspray.com/watch-the-peter-bjorn-and-john-young-folks-video-now/20064356.php
click on the young folks video link... now.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I want to take a quick minute to bring up a very real problem. No one seems to want to talk about, but we need to talk about it. Unicorns are REAL and very dangerous. So why aren't we doing anything about it. They constantly loiter in my front yard. Frolicking around and what not, leaving excrement where they may. The other day one threw a beer bottle at me as I walked out to my truck. Do you realize how demeaning it is to have a beer bottle thrown at you by a Unicorn? I asked if they'd mind taking their party somewhere else, boy was that a mistake. As one replied "FUCK YOU PUSSY", the others performed a circle jerk around my bird bath. Last week I accidentally plowed through one on my way home from work. Holy shit. That was scary. His homeboy followed me on the interstate for a good 10 miles. You talk about a nervous wreck. It's very intimidating to look in your rearview mirror doing 70 on the highway and see two big bright red eyes of a Unicorn come barreling at you. He was a fast fucking unicorn. I was finally able to lose him after he crashed into a light pole but not before that fucker did some serious body damage to my vehicle. My neighbors cat and litter of kittens had been missing for a week. Well she found a video in her mailbox with a post it note on it with "Watch this or die Honky" written on it. She watched it. It was a video of a Unicorn eating her cat and the litter of kittens. Her dog won't come outside anymore. The last time it ventured outdoors 18 unicrons performed a train on its ass. To top it all off one of the unicrons tattoed CUM DUMPSTER into his coat with its horn. Look, these things are fucked up. We have to do something about it before this goes any further. Who has some ideas on how to deal with this problem?
Making up for Williams lackluster song of the week I decided to make an attempt to revive this week’s ‘Jam of The Week’.
Surprisingly, it’s not rap or hip-hop. The band is called Explosions In The Sky and they hail from Austin, Texas (3 members of the band are from Midland and the drummer is from Illinois). If you haven’t heard of them, you’ve still probably heard them. Most recently, their songs have been featured in a Cadillac advertisement and they did most of the soundtrack for Friday Night Lights (the 2004 film).
Their songs are lengthy and seem to be progressive throughout with no vocals, just 3 guitarist and a drummer. If you like Sigur Ros (i.e. Portillo, Mazur, & A-Dub) you will mos def fancy Explosions in The Sky. If you enjoyed the music in Friday Night Lights (i.e. Bear ) then there’s no question you will appreciate this music
Songs:
‘First Breath After Coma’
‘Your Hand In Mine’
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
This is what happens when Bear drinks too much...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjmHj7jtjSg
Enjoy. Remember Bear, the best cure for a hangover is hair from the dog that bite ya boi.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Ciao ragazzi! Since discovering the infamous Booya7/filatova combo (aka free porn at high speed) I found this sick ass website that lets you download free music and transfer it to your hard drive. I don't know how they do it, but its the illest thing since the iPod (which is now compatible with windows and is proven to change lives). Anyways, peep the site and leave some feedback for my first post.
Popping My Blogger Cherry,
-bw
Post generator Faust - nice work on upkeep, devotion and pop culture. Let's get Blog-nasty this week, now that Mastofest has cum and gone.
Brown, did you have surgery?? Please explain...
I, due to a lack of creativity, am stealing your beat this week Fowst.
Here's my Jamtastic Jam of the week:
http://www.blastro.com/player/heliosequencedontlookaway.html
Helio Sequence - Don't Look Away
Plug-in headphones at work...
I find it applicable (do you pronounce that ah-plick-a-bull or ap-lick-able) to all of us in the dregs, successes and confusion of our early 20s.
I play with My Little Ponies.
Lyric Watch:
Well we all get up and we all get down
And we all get stuck but we come around
If we stand still we're sure to just fade away
Look into your eyes
Look for something more
Don't be a reaction to all the channels you've seen before
- Flub-A-Dub
Sorry I havent had time to blog, this is a busy week at work for me because deadline is next week so you probably won't hear much. Plus, I managed to fuck up my thumb and it makes typing a little harder and annoying.
I will say this though: The Bears are the fucking awesome this year and their win on Sunday night almost made up for TCU's debacle verse BYU Thursday. However, my biggest problem with the Frogs was not that they played like shit (because they did) but because they let TV arrange at 5:00 TV start time. That is NOT a time to ever start a football game, especially on a Thursday night. It was weird on the players, coaches, students, and especially the Alumni who couldn't even make it to the game until halftime (if at all). Horrible mistake by TCU (lubahn give me names) and we gave a huge advantage to BYU!!
Want to know what to watch in the new Fall Season? Here are a couple of shows I'd like to spotlight…
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - NBC, Mondays – Aaron Sorkin (writer of The West Wing and Sportsnight) The show is based on the cast and crew of a Saturday Night Live-type show. The dialogue is quick and witty. It is very funny and I have watched all three episodes, and it is the only show I watch every week besides The Office.
WHO SHOULD WATCH: Williams, Butz, and Miller
30 Rock – NBC, Wednesday – Oddly enough, this show is also about a Staurday Night Live-type show. But this one is a 30 minute sitcom aimed more on laughs than drama. With Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan and Alec Baldwin (he’s better at humor than drama, because he is a joke), this show should be worth a few good chuckles.
WHO SHOULD WATCH: Williams, Chambers, Weiss
Friday Night Lights – NBC, Tuesday (Premeires Tonight) When I saw the first previews for this show I thought this would be a terrible spin-off. It turns out it might be the best show on television in years. I have read reviews from the top critics who hail this show as “beautiful” and “real.” Two of the most complimentary adjectives, and ones rarely used to describe a tv show. The only thing that hurts this show is the name, because I believe many viewers will assume (as I did) this show is merely a rara sis boom ba version of the acclaimed book.
WHO SHOULD WATCH: Mazur, Portillo, Dalrymple, Brown
A few others….
If you like 24, check out Kidnapped
If you like Lost, check out The Nine
If you (or your girly) like Sex and the City, check out Ugly Betty
If you like House, check out Heroes
If you like Deal or No Deal, check your pulse
- Adam Faust, American Television Critic
Monday, October 02, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
So it looks like the frogs went down today. Coincidentally the same day Bear bought his ticket to come hang with me in Vegas for TCU vs UNLV. No worries though, now I will have no obligation to enter the game and can spend all the time outside just kicking it and gaiting.
Anyone gambling these day? If so meet me in Vegas and send me your picks for this weekend.
Lubahn as far as you making the best impression ever, I would say maybe true. However your lack of actually first impressions (due to never leaving the slanted house - aka trail lake) severely hurt your claims. By the way there was a period where (due to you always being known as "the bomb" or just plan "lubahn") that I thought your name was "Adam Lubahn". I actually feel guilt for that Brett. Sorry.
Butz – Overall pretty likeable and amusing, but he can be quite the pessimistic smart-ass.
Portillo- Has a jovial quality and will talk to anyone, but he will probably ask you to get him a drink, and then, maybe a ride a home.
Mazur- As cordial as they come, unless he’s drunk. In which case he may tell you he has a small child locked in his closet.
Chambers- Friendly to your face, but if you have a pink polo on and are talking politics he will rage on you.
Brown- He’s nice to everyone, but don’t get caught talking to his girlfriend… that’s grounds for a fight.
Kevin Bear- He may seem to be just your average sports-talking-super-fan… until you get him behind a keyboard.
Williams- He is the quintessential fun guy at the bar. But who likes the fun guy at the bar?
Faust- He’ll engage you in conversation about anything, but does he care? And what is that queer wearing?
Weiss- He is utterly unhateable, unless you hate strangers with Eastern European impersonations.
Miller- Maybe the worst first impressions of all time, but also the most entertaining bar patron to watch from afar.
Lubahn- Maybe the best first impressions of all time- everyone loves Brent. He’s from Minnesota! What a sweetie! Snake.
So, what do you guys think?
I do have a job. I just don’t care about it.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Just 5 indians left... I disqualified Portillo and Mazur for having lovers. But, also because Mazur and Portillo have declared they are not really playing. I left Lubahn in because though he has a woman, he also has a baby. The penalties are offsetting. Which means he's getting nothing. I have also spoken with him on several occasions and know how much he is battling.
Good luck boys. But remember, Booya7 will not be around forever...
Saturday, September 23, 2006
THE BIG LOSER IS...
B-DUB
According to IC sources, as of 9pm on Thursday night, BRIAN WEISS took the title as most susceptible to self-satisfaction, thus concluding round one of Mastofest 2006.
Apparently, after downing a bottle of MD 20/20, Brian found himself aroused watching a Shaun Michaels WCW cage match. He caved shortly thereafter.
Two days Brian? That is just pathetic.
I, after six days of self-restraint, found myself alone and aroused this (Saturday) afternoon. With a little help from our friend Booya7, I proudly bowed out around 2:30.
It felt very, very good.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Band: My Morning Jacket
Song: "Into the Woods"
Album: Z
It's eerie and wonderful. Here is my favorite line
"A GOOD SHOWERHEAD AND MY RIGHT HAND - THE TWO BEST LOVERS THAT I EVER HAD. NOW, IF YOU FIND YOU AGREE WITH WHAT I JUST SAID, YOU'D BETTER FIND A NEW LOVEAND LET 'EM INTO YOUR HEAD."
Nice, and very topical considering our blog....
Pic of Chambers in '97
http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060921/REPOSITORY/609210373
Everyone's invited. Brown and Portillo have already confirmed. Faust and Bone are pending. Mazur is busy. I have a feeling Bear's in. Miller is in Saigon. Butz will be in Lake Tahoe with Tom ``DJ'' Jackson. Weiss will say he's going to come and then not pick up the phone the week prior.
Faust, nice work on Zach Braff. Here's a similar article that gives me confidence in your movie assessment: http://metromix.chicagotribune.com/movies/mmx-091506-chicago-movies-braff,0,1039580.story?coll=mmx-movies_leftutility
Also, why didn't you guys come visit last year?
http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/local/article/0,2845,MCA_25340_5012359,00.html
Oh yeah
But, I am no regular man. I am a feeler. I like feelings, and anyone of you who have been around me drunk knows you're in for a big hug and some stammering, yet sincere, I love yous. So, I dug this movie for the reason that I (we) can relate to this state of our lives. To commit or not to commit? To spend the rest of your life with the one you love or remain free? We don't talk about it. When she asks, "What are you thinking- be honest." We don't say, "Well, I love you, but man there's a lot of tail out there!" And this movie does a nice job of exposing our everyday lies. The little things we prefer to just look over. Because what's the alternative?
Cheating.
Yep, cheating is the alternative. And we know the whole story before we ever get started. We know it will be one fun night that will mutate into a guilt-ridden malaise that we can't escape. Until you tell her, or she finds out. Both are wonderful options. It's like when someone asks, would you rather be set on fire by your eyelids or be eatin alive by house cats?
So, the girl (played by Jacinda from the Real World 3 or something) finds out. She ends it with him in a violent break up. Her rage is very authentic. And there our hero is left with nothing but the memory of his infidelity. Not a bad memory considerng his fellow adultress is wicked sexy and she is 19 and he is 29. She also gives a great performance. But, enough about the movie, back to life. The grass will always seem greener on the other girl. You can convince yourself so easily that a night with another woman will cure you of this wandering eye. It will not. It will always be there. So, I guess if you have someone that is with you unconditionally and everything is good, except every time you see a 19yr old skirt go by it drives you out of your head- that's ok. It's just pointless to chase it.
So, who jerked off last night? -booya7
Thursday, September 21, 2006
He's the dirtiest of us all, he's just confined, like a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics...
Just kidding. But he even admitted he would not participate in this if he didn't live with Joan of Arc.
However, Lubahn's post about Portillo dirty-porn sparks so many memories, particularly the awkwardness and yet strange exhiliration of rubbing on your friend's PC (My victims include: Lubahn, Brown, Faust, Mom, Bob Cooter)
Portillo, however, used to download, and save ANIME porn.
Now that is creepius-maximus.
I too have been fighting to remain the master of my domain. I caught the first bit of frustration yesterday when I was riding the bike. The constant pushing and pulling of loose wind pants almost prevented me from standing to greet an old acquaintance. As he rambled on about nothing, I sat there perplexed about my sudden return to the seventh grade. Why would loose fitting clothes have an effect on a twenty five year old?… Oh yea, I’m playing a game that every man fears but every girlfriend desires. Not to worry though, a little gym awkwardness will not thwart my efforts to prove that Adam Williams is the dirtiest masturbator I know. The poll speaks the truth!
Don’t hide in email fellas.
In Zax (just kidding),
Clint “I’m trying not to hit on the girl from work” Brown
1)I don't want the first spanker to end the competition. I say we play a little dominoes and see who stands last.
We thus reward that man, who at that time will have balls as big as mine. Ideas for rewards? Maybe we Lee lends him one of his cornucopia of porn that he hides from Eleah.
2) Who are the 14 people who voted? Huh? Who are the write-in votes from outside the realm of the ``IC''? Somebody's talking.
I want answers.
I aint losing.
Dahli Lama
http://abum.com/show/15962/phillip_the_hyper_hypo.html
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
My only goal is to finish second to last...
However, I feel the ``Usual suspects'' include:
- Brown (who I voted for)
- Faust (who is a sleeper, but he tells me things. Lots of things)
- Butz (Yea, I can see that)
- Me (Well, I do what I do, ok)
- Weiss (to Gay porn)
In the Hunt for the Title:
- Chambers - still gets the unattainable random tail; no need
- Lubahn - Bad example for kid; weed slows sexual prowess
- Portillo - Will get grounded
- Mazur - No penis
- Bear - Probably gets laid
- Miller - Also probably touches girls more than I do, which is at a rate of 1 per/3 months or ``quarterly'' as I've begun to call it.
What a brilliant, brilliant idea.
I'm Out...
Ha-Ha-Hardly. However, it's Tuesday. If I'm still in by Saturday, I consider it victory. I'll probably be punching people at work by then.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Second point of debate. The moving of Williams to Chicago has brought up between my girlfriend and I the topic of debate of who would hook up with whom, should the gang of my friends ever party with her friends. (For all who have seen her friends on the myspace you know this debate is in props like fashion for all involved).
So basically the discussion goes like this.
Me - My (single) friend would nail everyone of your friends.
Eleah - None of my friends would ever drunkingly make out with your friends.
At this point I have to remind her that this is the same thing she thought when we first met. And low and behold 913 days later the game was, as we say, "over".
So this is why Street Fighter is a poorer representation of us than say the Goonies. Really we are a rag tag bunch of unassuming, poorly dressing kids whose parents are getting kicked off their land for a golf course. Myabe not that last part.
Now the comparisons here are about. Chambers is that red head chick with the braces that always bitches about everything. Faust I might have to say your corey fieldmen. Bad hair and clothes but still enderring none the less and with a penis statue to boot. I know you dont speak spanish lies to houskeepers but from what I heard your french lies are sufficient.. Bear definetly sloth. Large, in charge, slighty vulger but with a sweet tooth for rocky road as big as your honey pumping heart. Williams your parents are divorced so you could be Mickey. Miller your really kind of a Brand, though we have all seen you as sloppy and inappropriately sweaty as sloth. Weiss you are going to have to be Data. I like gagets and science so was thinking about picking him for myself, but I heard you have a near unhealthy appreciation for the Asian Sensation so its your. So of course I will give myself the all around favorite chunk, if only beause this is my blog entry and also because there was a time where I would do many a self-depraving thing to impress you guys. Brown we are out of characters but I think its pretty obvious that you inherit the hair styles, big white tennis shoes and character wardrobe of all participants in the movie. So you like almost omni-present.
Ok I gotta run, to be completed soon...
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Well, when you have nothing to do at work besides 30 minutes shit sessions and 2 hour lunches (ie Williams and Faust) you begin to debate such matters.
Miller=Guile: Well, this one was kind of obvious with the whole military theme. But, many people don't know that it wa a "Sonic Boom" that sent that elderly TCU cop to his knees outside the SAE house.
Portillo=Blanka: I ask honestly, who is most likey of all us to be the product of nuclear mutation? Is it that farfetched to think Portillo was created in a laboratory? No human could live off Tuna Helper, wear a repulsive threadbare robe and still score a chick as hot as Alia...
Weiss=Vega: Vega was always a little left of center. A reclusive euro that you never could quite understand. Nevertheless, when antagonized there is no telling what he is capable of...
Mazur=M.Bison: M.Bison was a dick. You knew when you encountered the final boss you were in for a showdown. If you bring sissy flying kicks to this battle he will crush you with the decades of anger bottled inside of him from a childhood wrought in terror.
Lubahn=Chun Li: No one play a woman better. Chun Li looks sweet, but as we all know she will take you down with a shin kick when you least expect it. Best evidence Lubahn relishes his role as a girl: When Mazur and I were comparing our friends to different breeds of dog and we got to Lubahn, he interrupted us and responded confidently, "I'm a cat."
Faust=Ken: I don't know Ken personally but I imagine his ego is as big as his "hadukin." After researching Ken on Wikipedia I learned that he was the son of a hotel tycoon. And as Mazur can attest to, one night at the Hilton Anatole while we were living it up on champagne and Grey Goose in the LBJ suite, I modestly remarked, "This will all be mine one day."
Chambers=Dhalsim: Who else could play the lanky, malnourished, Hindu better? They are both pacifist with deep aggression beneath the anemic veneer. Plus, C-Bone told me after downing some X at a rave he once mastered the art of levity.
Butz=Sagat: Be honest. Would it not drastically increase Butz's persona if he started sporting an eye patch? Plus, they are both really tall.
Clinton=Ryu: The most storied of the SF2 fighters. Every fighter wanted to be him, and every girl wanted to be with him. Ryu learned to battle from Tsao Budists on the tops of Mount Kilimanjaro as Cint learned to fight from Wesley Snipes in the Blade Trilogy.
Kevin=Zangief: Zangief learned to fight from wrestling Polar Bears in Siberia (Wikipedia). Kevin is a bear. Zangief actually transfered to Churchill his senior year and played the SAM linebacker on Kevin's side. The "Kodiak Express" was born.
Williams=E.Honda: No one else is as physically imposing as this caraciture. He once ripped Ken out of a Taxi and belly flopped him into submission. The ways of the Sumo are often misunderstood, but together they will teach the world to respect the fine art of popcorn-over-indulgence and Denny's French-toast-inhlation-euphoria.
Fight!
Friday, September 15, 2006
I am actually pooping right now. As a father the only real time I have to myself is when I am shitting. It's nice to have these 14 minutes to myself each and everyday. I will update everyone on the in and outs of diaper bags this weekend.
Ouch...that one came out wrong
Donnie Darko
Alright, so I didn’t see a new movie. But I did watch an old one some have seen and some have not. Donnie Darko is the kind of movie if you say you haven’t seen it, many people will say, “What!? You have to see it! I can’t believe you haven’t seen it!” I hate when people do that. And they only do it about movies in that art/indie/satire genre. Movies that will garner such responses include but are not limited to; Memento, Reservoir Dogs, Clerks, Requiem for a Dream, The Royal Tenebaums (and really any Wes Anderson movie), and many many more. Now, I like some of those movies, but what I don’t like is feeling forced to like them, especially by some pseudo-hip cult that insists that these are the greatest movies ever. I have been known to lie and say I hate films that I sincerely like in the face of such phony filmophiles. I digress.
Darko is great example of this genre. It is, at its core, an entertaining flick. It is funny, creepy, and engaging. It also left me wanting to study time travel. Whenever I finish a movie and start researching it on the iternet I know it did something right. I liked Gyllenhall’s performance as one of the creepiest fictional high school kids since Carey. Drew Barrymore (the movie's exeutive producer) gives a mediocre performance as the idealistic English teacher. Noah Wylie (ER) gives a much stronger perfomance as her boyfriend and fellow "greater good" fighting science teacher. Why isn't he in more films? Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing) spreads his acting wings and delivers strongly as a sleazy motivational speaker. Who knew Swayze could be funny?
However, something about the film’s dramatic climax left me unsatisfied. I was confused. After watching the DVD’ extras I learned there were some crucial scenes deleted. Scenes that would have helped me understand a lot more about Donnie. That is inexcusable. The movie needed to either drop some themes or make the movie about an hour longer. Ultimately, I would still absolutely recommend the film because it’s better than 90% of the other crap out there.
I give it 4 out of 5 chief heads:
Thursday, September 14, 2006
www.sportsfeed.com
Everyone make their picks. I want a full report of how everyone did Tuesday morning.
1. the word fuck takes on every meaning possible...no longer used as I am going to fuck you or shut the fuck up...it is now used as a type of adverb as in fuckity fuck fuck fuck those motha fuckers...yes that's a sentence
2. you stand out if not rocking forearm tatoos and a mullet
3. malaysians are cheap labor and love to shit in showers...yes someone dropped some kids off not at the pool but in the shower...i have to go to the doctor now b/c apparently you are supposed to wear sandals when community showers are involved
4. the only women i see are rather butch, have more facial hair than i'll ever dream of having, and i was thoroughly intimidated by them as they kept referring to me as a fresh piece of meat and salavating...i was scared and yearned for my mommy
5. did i mention the use of the word fuck
6. never have i anticipated watching an action flick involving a lead actor who goes by the name dwayne "the rock" johnson (eyebrow raise here)
7. i now drink heavily...a few weeks without women and booz will drive a man insane...well they did have cinemax at night...it's a lovely station...10 seconds of soft core porn goes a long way...i shouldn't be writing this
8. i have been consumed by this whole myspace conspiracy...without it there would be a void in my life and wouldn't know how to spend 4 hours of my day...i live an exciting life
9. holidays no longer mean hanging out with friends...they involve you, a bunch of dirty old men who smoke, dip, and drink at the same time while telling you stories about their old lady and how they are going to the next motorcycle convention/rally, butch women who now refer to you as susan, and the ocean
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
So my assignment is to report on stupid behavior, primarily by yours truly. Yes, I did go to a bull riding school, and yes I am glad I did. However, the permanently blue right butt cheek will never let me live it down, nor will the look of utter disbelief and glances of disapproval when people ask me about it.
So why would I try it? Was it the lack of satisfaction and pure boredom I get from going to work everyday? Possibly…Was it to prove to myself that I could beat one of my biggest fears? Maybe….Was it for the adrenaline rush? Not likely…I guess I just wanted to say that I had done it once and cross it off my list.
I should have seen the utter stupidity in riding bulls a long time ago, however, there is no excuse for not taking a cue from the owner who tried to stand up to introduce himself, but couldn’t do so without the help of his permanent cane. When he asked me if I wanted a helmet and I actually debated the matter, I knew the stupid voice would be hounding me all weekend.
I had hoped to warm up on a junior steer, cow, or even an angry mutton. Unfortunately, they gave me Red Bronc, the actual bull from 8 seconds who had never been ridden. I had flashes of a hardened bone or horn entering my stomach, much like Williams worried over a hardened bone entering him when sleeping at the McCaro house.
The first bull, Red Bronc, tossed me in about 3 seconds (which is a generous estimate). It did create a feeling of euphoria and a sense that I could accomplish anything. No lie, I really felt like no task was too hard or challenging. I loved it for that. However, it quickly faded when it was my turn to ride again.
My mind kept telling me to walk away. You really have nothing left to accomplish. You have ridden a big f*cking bull, why would you want to do it again? Even my heart was starting to listen. I had made up my mind to tell the pro riders I was through…until my name was shouted to ride again. Instead of having the courage to walk away, I pussied out on pussying out. Quite extraordinary, really.
The second, and soon to be last bull, must have recently seen his children, wife, and mistress slaughtered before his eyes. When I stepped on him in the chute, he went apeshit. Thundering pain rolled through my ankles and legs as he slammed me against both sides of the gate. I wanted to cry out in pain, but the instructors kept telling me to be calm and “cowboy up.” Well you know what, fuck you! Open up the chutes.
The bull burst out and immediately started spinning. I did my best impression of superman but couldn’t help but land right on my ass. Once again, thundering pain shot through my body. Luckily, I became distracted by the 1,500 pound bull charging at me. Just when I finished watching my life flash before my eyes, a bullfighter ran in between the bull and myself and slapped him across the face. He veered off about three feet from my torso. (I subsequently gave the fighter a hand job to show appreciation)
A pro rider came to critique me. His words were, “Great ride! Awesome job…but you have to get mad, get angry. This is what it is all about. This is what life is about.” I momentarily thought on his point and realized I am a stock analyst. This might not be what life is about for me.
Two riders later, a bull gored a guy in the face and he had to be airlifted to Tyler. Needless to say, I turned in my equipment shortly thereafter.
Monday, September 11, 2006
I have to start first with,.. DA Bears (sorry Faust, not trying to talk shit). But what a Superbowl style performance from NOT ONLY the Bears mighty defense, but from future Hall of Famer Rex Grossman. His time has finally arrived and he has earned a starting position on my fantasy football team. And holy shit, it is soooo nice to finally see we have conquered Brett Farve!
Speaking of fantasy, what a joke my team was over the weekend. Jake the Snake Plummer with -4 points and Pussy face Delhomme not much better. If anyone wants to recommend which chump to bench in Week 2, I am open to suggestions because Grossman is GOING IN! Joey Galloway got me a fat 0 as the Bucs and Chris "I tatoo my best friend's intials on my ankle" Simms were absolutley worthless over the weekend. The only players who produced any kind of points for me yesterday were The Bears D and 9/11 activist Muhsin Muhammad. Luckily though, I have L.T. on my team and hopefully he can pull out 25 points tonight, which he will. Props to the Frogs btw.
Yesterday I drank at a sports bar from 11:30 - 6 and never got drunk.
Alright, so I make these picks and I recommend you all do the same at www.sportsfeed.com every week. In Week 2 of 2002 I actually won and received a check for $1,000 bucks. So YES, it is possible to WIN and it's FREE. And NO, I did not spend it ALL on pot.
I was completely dumbfounded by some of the results yesterday. Carolina only 6 points at home in their loss to Atlanta, Seattle 3 FGs to beat the Lions, TB shut out at home, the Cowboys choking a 10 point lead to the Jags, Broncos losing to the Rams, and Pennington and the Jets are back?!?!..... This just shows how much parody in the NFL these days can change teams so drastically from year to year! I mean, who ISN'T a Sexy Super Bowl pick? Any team that didn't make the playoffs last year can easily go all the way this year! Well yesterday definitley proved that and I would not be surprised if a team like Arizona makes a run at it! But you still gotta love it, and live for every Sunday, and Monday, and sometimes Thursday, and even Saturdays in December.
This post took 20 valuable minutes of my work time, and it was mainly to get Adam Fedderer off my shit.
Peace out and who the hell is C-Bone???
GO FROGS - Longest winning streak in the nation bitches!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
TWIB: THIS WEEK IN BLOG
MUST READ...
SORRY... To Post, go to Blogger.com, sign in and hit the New Post icon, which is a green cross. Then you should be able to post...
Alright, so to instigate activity on the Blog, I propose a weekly editorial calendar. It might not work, but it could be fun.
Since we work five days, I was thinking it would be like a publish for next day reading, like a post Monday for Tuesday reading format. So here's the first attempt:
Monday for Tuesday: Kevin posts Week One NFL football thoughts
Williams posts here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/highschool/cs-060909oakpark,0,5266026.story?coll=cs-highschool-headlines
I'm lame
Tuesday for Wednesday:
- Lee posts on the US-Iranian burgeoning conflict, the reprecussions of 9-11 five-years later, Russia's intervention into resolving middle east crisis or why Eva Angelina is on top of the porn world. Or on bottom.
- Clint reads the following article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/10/world/americas/10coleo.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
And then recaps his bull-riding experience, which is a story all should hear
Wednesday for Thursday:
- Chambers posts on his return to land and gives insightful details on how he spent his days at sea
- Butz posts gambling tips for novice and intermediates that we can integrate into a next table sitting
Thursday for Friday:
- Faust gives a preview to weekend movie releases, ridiculing actors and premise, while giving an ``Adam's Apple of the week'' to the movie he thinks we should all try, or be careful of because there could be a worm in the middle...that is gay...
- Mazur posts on the absurd DFW story of the week. Having sifted through various publications during the week, Michael will highlight the top three ``Are you fucking kidding me?'' stories of the week. Examples include Rottweiler fighting rings in Arlington and bulletholes through apartment floors in Grand Prairie.
I think this would be sweet if we can handle this. I understand you all are busy, but daily posting could provide a pleasant respite from the montonies of 40-65 hour work weeks.
Poops and Pisses,
A-Dubbles
That means Mr. Mazur, I think you missed mi punta. My point.
In my long-winded diatribe, I attempted to explain my fascination with a quasi-``corporate'' environment. It was not a whining session and I find the job more humorous than burdensome. It's mindless and pays the bills. I think that satisfies most.
In the first few days, I've been flabbergasted to learn people do jobs they do not enjoy. I'd heard of this, however, had never experienced it firsthand. So, for me, these days were mesmorizing. That's why I posted. More in disbelief than complaint.
Secondly, don't taint the Blog with ``crisis pool'' and ``whine like a child'' lines. That could turn the Blog an ugly place, which sucks for all.
Thirdly, to POST A BLOG, Go to BLOGGER.com, login with your username, which should redirect you to a title page. There, hit New Post, or some little wheel-like icon, which brings you to a new post page.
Finally, ambien is a sleep-aid. Do some research.
Adam ``has volatile relationship with Mazur'' Williams
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
That's what my crunktafarian Memphis kids used to say in reference to ``Real talk'' or flat-out honesty.
That's what I give you now, young white-collar pursuers of ``your dreams''. This is real talk. Cuz real recognize real...Ya hurd meah...?!
Here's real: My new job is Initech. Straight up. The similarities are eerie. For example, today was ``End of Summer Snack Day'' where some co-workers brought in snacks. However, because we all hide in ``morose boxes'' or cubes, there was no social interaction when we emerged from our menial tasks to eat unwanted cookie resin and sop up the goo from depreciating kiwis.
So Initech, huh? Let's compare:
1. Cube farm where you're walled in to quell potential interaction or ``talking'': Check
It's like a library. And there's sad people on the shelves. That's Nonfiction.
2. Managers that start sentences with ``I'm gonna need you to...'': Check
You know today I was handed a stack of data entry shiat and actually said ``Thanks''. Thanks for what? Tearing off a little piece of my soul?
3. Clock Watching: Check
This is my first job where I check the clock repeatedly throughout the day and actually know my remaining time amount to the minute.
4. Mass airplane-like exodus at 4:58p.m.: Check
It's only lacking the ``Bing'', seat belt sign and attendant wishing you well.
5. People saying ``Well, it's a job'': Check
Three times today. ``It pays the bills.'' So does welfare, whore. So does welfare.
6. Downtrodden, lifeless souls: Double check
I knew something was up when during my HR tour, I asked, ``Is it always this quiet here?'' Then when I met my cube neighbors, I received the ``wet noodle handshake'' or the ``Burns'' or the ``comic book reader''. You know what a bad sign that is? People too discouraged or disheartened to give a reasonable squeeze. Oh no, I thought. Oh mother fucking skank pig nipple, no.
Returning from lunch the first day, part of me expected people to yell ``surprise'' when I got back in. Like it was some sick joke and I wouldn't really be doing 11-year old mindless labor. Looks like the jokes on me.
I HAVE however, realized two truly valuable lessons:
A) People will lie to you to get you to work for them.
I sure haven't done any editing or writing.
B) Lives are wasted doing things they hate.
Not one person at my job likes their job. It's impossible. College grads sitting around silently doing mindless work all day. There's no challenge. YET, people actually do this shit. For a living. Why not? Pay is pretty good. Hours aren't bad. You cut 15 minutes off your lunch, you get half-day Fridays. Yippppppeeee!!
Thom Yorke sang ``Ambition makes you look pretty ugly'' It appears Thom, so does lack of ambition.
I guess this is new to me because I've liked every job I had. Sure they didn't pay well and one didn't offer benefits, but I liked what I did.
I've learned this week that the biggest challenge doesn't come from jobs you like. You ask me to cover a Mavs game, have three quotes and a page story in 25 minutes. Sure. Want me to get 33 black kids to listen, put their cell phones away and learn Spanish. You got it. You want me to punch meaningless data into a computer for a meaningless cause. Shit. I don't think I can. My mind won't let me.
But hey, tomorrow is Jeans day. I bet my morale will be soaring. Until I walk in.
I'm still waiting for someone to say ``Fuckin' A''.
Milton
I was making fun of Lubahn today for being an e-business major and then I got to thinking about everyone…. And how our majors relate to our current professions. People love to say your major does not matter (including myself), but I want to find out. So I’m sending out a success-rate report card after roughly 3 years since graduation. The grades are based solely on how much your degree has helped you up until this point in your life….
Business– Mazur, Brown, Williams, Lubahn
Brown and Mazur’s finance degree are serving them well as they intend to make the masses serve them well. They knew what they wanted and nabbed the degree that would take them there. Most finance majors know their degree is a secure and sound investment. But, they still studied finance during the years they should have been protesting wars and streaking…. B-
Lubahn’s e-business degree was the hot thing to do study right before the millennium. You could start a website, name it http://www.dirtydiapers.com/, but sell porcelain penguin figurines, and still make millions. Sadly the idiots of the DOT COM debacle left current e-business majors salivating over a cash cow that had starved just a few years too early. C
Can’t go wrong with a marketing degree…and a Spanish degree to boot! Unless of course you have a quarter life crisis and renounce the world of commerce and tacky grey suits for a life with a purpose. Idiot. Writing and teaching can heal the world, but your degree isn’t going to help you do it. C-
Engineering – Portillo, Chambers
These guys probably spent more hours in the library than any other major. If you get through it there is usually a sizable pot of gold at the end. So far so good for the geeks… A-
Communications- Faust, Dalrymple
I’m in television. So, I guess that’s something. But, c’mon, Radio TV Film? What a crock of shit. How that is even a major should shock you. You sit around and watch old movies and then discuss how they’ve shaped our world… yeah that’ll help you acquire marketable skills. But, I did enjoy almost all of my classes, so that counts for something. D+
KDal is doing commercial real estate, so, as an ex-RTVF major he is considered a complete an utter sell out. We pride ourselves on being better than anyone in an industry where you can actually make some money. F
You may raise your grade only through financial success and/or inner harmony... Good Luck next year and have a great summer!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Waco without Baylor = Lebanon
When you meet a woman who is obviously trying to mask her age with make-up and fake tits do not immediately refer to her as “ma’am”
Jon Edmondson is a liberal. Seriously.
When making a call from my Jeep the person on the other line will undoubtedly ask, “Are you
in a convertible?”
Clay McNutt will never dismiss me again.
A waiter gave Miller free dessert and simply whispered, “Semper Fi.” That was cool.
Chris McIntosh is a real solid dude.
Most bizarre, yet effective pickup line, “You are an alien.”
The Federer story has immortalized Williams in the city of Dallas.
Love is about sacrifices. Kevin Bear now sports an Astro’s hat.
Miller and his dad have reconciled completely.
Love.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
I'm tempted to say ``That's what I'm talking about'', but I detest when people say that. You ever been to a ballgame, somebody hits a homerun and some schmuck yells ``That's what I'm talking about!''?. No you weren't. You never mentioned that. You never previously referred to the likelihood of Alex Cintron's homerun. If you had, then yes, it would have been ``what you were talking about.''
I digress.
First up: Let's name this bad boy. The Adub Hub, although pleasing to the ego of yours truly, doesn't really epitomize us a group. So let's hear suggestions. Once we've selected, I'll make the new page, send of all you invitations again, and we'll start anew. Peachy.
So let's just through them up. Just post with a name idea. For example, Frogblog, which is a little corny. Or how about, Mensa FC, or like Lee's brilliance, the Ideotechnicals. It needs to be something that bonds us all, which would be TCU. But do we want a Frog title? Like the Horned Blogs? I don't know. Sounds a little queer.
What you got gentilemen?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
I have an idea, so please, hear me out. Even you Lee.
Some of us have the luxury of maintaining communication through the glory of Fantasy Sports, yet it is not a linked, ubiquitous ring of friendship. Some of us are not interested in the part-time gig that is Fantasy games. Respectably so.
So I propose this: This. Yes, that is right. A blog.
To explain, I've seen and worked with people who maintain communication with their most intricate group of friends through a Blog. Just go to the site and read the latest publication from a dear friend. It bridges distancing friendships and keeps you in touch with your best crew.
My thoughts are to have free range of posts, be it about their job, a funny story, a hook up, masturbation, meerkats or women named Korvette. At the same time, I think it would be a little more interesting to encourage each contributor with a topic to post upon every once in a while. Like their beat.
For example, Lee posts a poltical commentary once a week. Kevin posts about football or the pangs of Houston humidity. Faust posts his movie review of Little Miss Sunshine. Clint posts about an emerging corporation. Chambers posts on sports or a rave. Weiss posts on a recent Italian-Zambian rapper he's discovered. Mazur posts on new styles of white tennis shoes. Lubahn posts on the rigors of diaper changing and three hours of sleep. I post about saying the wrong thing to a female.
I think you understand. Personally, there's no one I like to read about more than my friends.
Lastly, as I've applied for jobs recently, I've provided writing samples to each company I've visited. All have been interested in my writing capabilities to some degree and are impressed with handing them clips, of any type.
My point is that you are going to write until you die. All of you. Almost daily.
All right I'm trying to sell. Whatever. I think it'd be cool to have a communication hub for all my friends. I hope you do too.
Hope to read from you.
Love,
A-Chub