Bear, the boys will be the bears in the playoffs. Just wanted to be the first to let you know.

8 I make #6 who is signed up for the secnd city show. Sorry I mocked your planning, Lee 7

You're welcome
(volume up please)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMPbt6Vmm7s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0AF3B99omc

NYE possibility:
Lund has decided to join us for the festivities. He is flying back from the Bahamas and plans to meet up with us. Last night, he was pitching a bar named LANDMARK for NYE and thinks he can get us some tickets (although they are probably expensive). Apparently its pretty bad ass and if you go, you are guaranteed to get laid. Honestly, there is no chance you won't. As soon as you tell them you are from Texas, they try to rip off your clothes. I think it has possibility. Williams, know anything about this place?

Just bought my ticket. It was lucky number five purchased for the group.

Lee, what was that thing you wanted me to mention? Oh, and congrats on Luhban's spelling, it was similiar to your own. And will somebody please give Luhban $10 for his plates so that I don't have to hear any more about those circular disks of annoyance.

Timeline of Portillo's Patience

Nov 29th - Posts the idea of us all getting to together to see a second city show. ( Nice idea)
Nov 30th - Gives confirmation number so we can all sign up for the same show. (Great organization and foresight)
Dec 1st - No report (He got high. Fact.)
Dec 2nd - Yells at us for not having signed up yet. Coined a new word, "DOOSH" (Starting to get a little pushy)
Dec 3rd - Tries by opening with a subtle and friendly "greetings friends." (translation: Sign up assholes or else my plan will be ruined)

Greetings friends. I just wanted to get a show of virtual hands for all who bought thier second city tickets. Get on it if you have not so all ready. I'd like to see everyone get this done faster than brown and williams give out weddings gifts. Which is to say, not at all.

HEY DOOSH BAGS! BUY YOUR FUCKING TICKETS!

Even williams is getting one and he fucking roofs for a living. A migrant fucking worker could afford these tickets OK! Just get em.

One month away...

At least the weather's nice (this picture was taken this morning)

Does anyone else see this when they sleep?

How you like them skills Burger Boy?!

Greetings friends.

Confirmation number for the second city show is 6896.

Tickets are 24 dollars and the show is Dec 30 at 8pm. Plus they have a space heater, which will be sweet. Get your tickets and get ready to laugh.

OK, So here is the final word on the tickets. With second city I cannot reserve tickets with my credit card. I can only buy them.

So please give me a show of hands of who whould like to experience one of the funniest nights of their lives Saturday, Dec 30? If we have a solid group together this is what we will do. I buy my two tickets and get a confirmation number. I will then post this number here on the IC and email it to you for repoduction.

You then will have to call second city at 312-337-3992 and buy your two tickets (One if you have no game. ) and use the confirmation number. This will insure that we get the seats together in the same section. So is anyone down?

I don't want to buy tickets if no one else wants to go.

In this group who would be who in this story?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/football/ncaa/11/26/bc.fbc.footballbet.shoo.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

HAPPY TERRIBLE CONVERSATION DAY!!

Good morning friends. I hope you had the merry of merriest Thanksgivings. I hope you enjoyed America's made-up holiday that miraculously gives you two days off during the dregs of November to celebrate our thieving of land, pillaging of ``feather heads'' and creating a corporate structure to drain us of all ``liberties'' we've been ``given'' .

Welcome back to the freedom of the work environment, where 91% of your small-talk conversations with co-workers today will go as follows:

``Hey guy, how was your (inlcude lameism, ie `Turkey Day')?''
``Oh fine Ted. Just sat around, ate a lot, watched some football.''
``Man me too, I must of gained 10 pounds (fake laugh)''
``(fake laugh) I hear that, my Dockers are pretty tight today'' (fake laughter)

This will lead to:

``Man, I just got to make it through today'' or ``The first day back is always the toughest'' or ``I'm just watching the clock today. Gotta get home and gobble on some more leftovers''

I've bolded the keys words for the day. When muttered by someone in your office, I encourage you, a la Pee-Wee's Playhouse, to respond outrageously. Maybe by saying ``I'm thankful we pillaged the Indians'' or ``Squanto was kind of a pussy'' or ``Thanksgiving leftovers are a Stoner's Paradise'' or ``I got drunk and shit in a cornucopia''.
Also, please avoid these catch phrases and bring up something random in conversation. Maybe try to throw in `Turkey Day' words to see if they're heard like ``Database entry is gravy'' or ``Yam ight want to send him an email this morning'' or ``Greenbean casserole it's nice outside today!''

Just some thoughts. Have a Collard Greens day!!

Seriously Portillo, are you questioning my myspace pics? Isn't this your cover pic? I could see this my freshman year of high school as we shouted "not even homes" and snuck into the ditch to smoke a cigarette.... Are you wearing underwhere in this picture?

LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! It is from browns myspace. It begs two questions. The first is, why would you post this picture on your myspace? The second is, "When did we all turn ugly"? I don't know when it happened, I just know it did.

Top ten reasons Chicago is going to be the best trip ever...

10. The winter cold will hide the fact that we are the most unfit group of friends assembled in the city.

9. As in San Diego for the 4th of July, the cold will provent Williams from being the only man on the beach in a bathing suit that does not fit with his underware sticking out.

8.

THE HECKLER STRIKES AGAIN...

Can I get some random comments from strange guys? My editors loved for the last ones...

http://www.theheckler.com/news/templates/?a=431&z=4

Who is down to go second city while we are in Chitown this new years? I am in for two. Who else is down. Eveyone please RSVP who wants to go and wiliams reserve us tickets please.

RAISE THE ROOF...

Hi friends. I'm a roofer. This is week 4. It's now official. Sometimes this picture is me, which is scary. Especially because I'm typically a ``pussy'' or a `momma's boy'' or ``a douche''.

Anyhow, here is my quick synopsis of my latest career venture.

1. Ladders are scary

2. Roofs are steep

3. Snow is cold

4. Carrying a 90-pound bag of shingles up a ladder, onto a steep roof, in the snow is fun and easy. It's like data entry, only less challenging.

5. Nails hurt, regardless of if you step on them, sit on them, grab one with your palm or have one hit you in the face when pryed from an older shingle.

6. Blue collar work makes you hungry.

7. McDonald's, though often blamed for our country's obesity, is relied upon for fuel by day laborers. Double cheeseburgers only cost $1.10. Monopoly is back too. I have Park Place and Boardwalk.

8. Although many man controls broom, broom controls many man.

9. There is a 10-cigarette/day minimum in blue-collar culture. Only menthols or reds allowed. No `ultra lights' here pretty boys.

10. Yelling swear words, preferably in Spanish, is permitted at any time of day, in elation, pain, discouragement or when early morning Dunkin' Donuts settles in.

Have a good week.

Roofus