The great umbilical cord beckons

Come one, come all.

Just hit my two-year mark and don't know how much longer I'll be living in tropical paradise and rainforest country. I encourage visits and re-visits within the next 6-12 months or forever hold your Paz.

VIVA LA PLAGA

Did anyone watch the U.S.-Mexico Gold Cup Final on Saturday night at the Rose Bowl? I did, with my Dad, in Texas, USA on Univision in Espanol (ESPN was showing race car highlights).

We listened to commentary of former US player Marcelo Balboa as a commentator (with his Argentine accent), cringed every time Mexican fans yelled "PUTO!" when US keeper Tim Howard took a goal kick, and talked about how much it sucked to watch the Rose Bowl - a slice of Americana, historic college football games and 4th of July celebrations - fill with 80,000 Mexican fans out of 93,000 in attendance.

This was a tournament final in the US of A with the US of A national team playing, yet the game turned into a Mexican home game. Unsurprisingly, Mexico, which is the better team, won 4-2. The trophy celebration was held in Spanish and after the game Howard said:

"CONCACAF should be ashamed of themselves. I think it was a fucking disgrace that the entire postmatch ceremony was in Spanish. You can bet your ass that if we were in Mexico City, it wouldn't be all in English."
http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/soccer/news/story?id=6705473

Bill Plaschke (Around the Horn) wrote a column called "Red, White and Booo" about the fans at the game.
http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-0626-plaschke-gold-cup-20110626,0,7072114.column

My question is: Where else in the world would this happen? What other national team in the world is Booed on their home turf by an overwhelming majority of opposing fans?

I've tried to answer this. I've looked up immigration stats and tried to think of other scenarios. For certain events, there'd probably be a lot of Turkish fans at a game in Germany, Ukranian fans in Russia or Bangladeshis in attendence in India (perhaps for cricket). But it doesn't compare. We are the porous borders "Come one, come all" capital of the world.

And watching the Gold Cup final on Saturday night, I suddenly became pissed off, xenophobic and Arizonian. Home for 10 days and watching the news about unemployment, the economy, the 2012 elections, etc, and then Saturday night decidely thinking "Immigration IS a problem". Nowhere in the world do immigrants enter a country to suckle at a Teet more than they do on Uncle Sam's. Trust me, I live in Central America, which is essentially an udder from the US that everyone is trying to nurse from (see foreign investment, the Panama Canal and banana republics)

This is long, yes, I know.

I titled this "Viva La Plaga" because, as a joke, Gringos living in Central and South America are known as "La Plaga" or "the plague" because we infiltrate these countries with young drunken tourists, shitty Spanish and entitled mannerisms.

Well, at least we don't call your goalkeeper a "Bitch" every time he takes a goal kick on his home field. I'd like to think we have a little more class than that.

Happy Pride!






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Faust is Tucked

WEEKEND SUCCESS


And a Special Happy 30th Birthday to this guy ->

King Me

Every time you come 'round my city, ring, ring.

Who's buying parade tickets?

the waning days of hair.

Eye think we should get back to the friarcut discussion...

So... I dont think we can go completely bald on top because Faust might be a little worried about his look when he shaves it all off on Sunday.. but I do remember Faust with a buzzed haircut and it is definitely a good look for him.... (see below, ignore Bernie)

Can we agree to a #1 blade on the top and sides? Or should Faust have to do the zero blade as seen below in Timmy Tebow? Who is going to have the clippers? Miller? Will Piper be present? Will Adam still be married after next weekend?

Eye Think...

In honor of DeShawn Stevenson's increasingly cliched 3-point celebration, eye present the following.

Eye think... Game 4 is the biggest game in Mavs franchise history

Eye think... Game 3 already was

Eye think... Dirk Nowitzki is currently the best player in the NBA

Eye think... He will never be remembered as an all-time great if the Mavs don't win this series

Eye think... Dwayne Wade is too good too hate, and eye would like to hate him

Eye think... JeBron Lames isn't as good as he thinks, and is therefore highly hateable

Eye think... The Mavs have adopted the US national soccer team's approach to fall behind early, make cool comebacks later

Eye think... that stategy often falls short

Eye think... The key to the Mavs success depends Shawn Marion and Peja Stoijavajcicjic, who apparently decided to go back to Serbia after lighting up LA

Eye think... Mario Chalmers is a nice player

Eye think... Chris Bosh is a Jaberwocky

Eye think... that my polite removal from a Nicaraguan restaurant after punching a chair at the end of game 3 was justified

Eye think... Nicaragua should change the nation's name to "Everything costs a dollar"

Eye think... Eye'm going to bed and will pray for the Mavs, as well as poor people and Marc Miller

confusion.

Some predictions for this round of the playoffs

Did everyone see this dunk yesterday? Oh my poopoo. I think I love to watch Dwyane Wade get humiliated in his hometown by Taj Gibson.

Also, is it just me or did it seem that when the Heat beat the the Celtics, they acted like they'd won the championship? LeBron and DWade hugging, elation, confetti, etc.

I enjoyed watching the Bulls beat the crap out them yesterday and I hope they win the series. I also hope JeBron Lames never wins a title.

Predictions for the next 2 weeks:

* Wade gets a flagrant foul and mildly injures a Bull player, perhaps the great Taj. Four minutes later, Wade's childhood home in southside Chicago is shot at, even though he hasn't lived there for 8 years.

* The Heat start blaming Chris Bosh, even though he scored 30 yesterday. Can't be Bron's or DWade's fault.

* Mike Bibby actually disappears on the court, a la Marty McFly's Back to the Future family photo.

* Derrick Rose dunks on Wade and the Sears Tower falls, only to land on Michael Jordan's United Center statue, which keeps it from hitting the ground. No injuries are reported.

* Joakim Noah tries to eat Mario Chalmers.

Other series:

* Mavs win game 1, it is because they were rested. Mavs lose game 1, "they were rusty". Somewhere both those headlines have already been written with fake quotes waiting to be published.

* Ibaka hurts his hand slapping the JumboTron on a jumpball. Cuban asks for him to be fined.

* DeShawn Stevenson begins celebrating 3-pointers made in warm-ups.

* Russell Westbrook records 4 assists/game to himself.

* Everybody on Earth talks about TX-Oklahoma Red River Shootout Part Deux. Yeeehaw!!

* James Hardin announces that he is actually a gay fish.

* Kendrick Perkins gets two fouls at halftime, putting Dallas in a one-in-one situation before the second half begins.

* Jason Kidd named GQ's Weirdest Looking Man Alive contest.

I love the NBA.

poignant.


http://pulitzercenter.org/articles/bin-laden-dead-al-qaeda-impact-afghanistan

I love In-N-Out Burger as much as the next guy, but this video looks like it was directed by the sick mind of Michael Mazur.  If you're in a hurry please jump to the :58 mark.

10 days - The "average ex-user is down to encountering less than two crave episodes per day, each less than 3 minutes.

Congrats AC, keep it up.

"Tyson Chandler is a the second best center in the NBA." -Adam Faust

Are the Mavs the favorites for the NBA Title?
Obviously, I am not the fairest judge of how good the Mavs really are- but I think this is the best team in this mediocre franchises history.  I'd love to hear how others feel about the Mavericks dismantling of the champs, and their chances going forward.

This might be the best video on YouTube, Happy Friday IC

motivation.

Hey Fools,

It is day 2 of smoke free Faust.  It is actually pretty fucking miserable.  I thought I was being a pussy, but I smoke a lot and I am pretty sure my body is going through withdrawals.  I want to fucking slap the shit out of any one who looks at me cross.  Any way, I just read a blog advising me to share my cravings and weakness with my friends.  I feel like the more people I share it with the less chance I will fail.

I need to be held accountable.  I need support as well.  I feel like I sound like a puss writing all of this stuff, but I don't care, it's time to quit for good.

Peace.

I dont have US cable television but stumbled upon the White House correspondents speech the other night in a hotel and loved every second of it. For about 45 minutes, I felt like an American again. Ahhh. It was nice. I forgot how much I missed decent sarcasm.

Say what you will about Barry Obama, but, forget economic policy, name me another President that has the comedic timing and self-ease as this man.

Seth Meyers's bit was pretty funny too.

Oh and I think Osama Bin Laden is dead.

The LA Times is reporting that OJ Simpson did it.