Wow, I feel so alive, like I've entered 21st century culture after a long stint of grunting and perplexment at the invention of the world wide web. This is like Pitfall meeting Halo or a wood-paneled Magnavox meeting a High Def plasma. I fear my next move will be a Myspace account. God help my conformist soul.

Before I list all of my intentions for this site, I need to define them in my cob-webbed, misdirected mind before lying to my audience (myself) about what content will be included on this B-L-O-G. Do you think that third grade spelling bees now include words like Blog, Dell, Netflix and Cingular? Yeah, me neither.

Let's do lunch.