Greetings friends.

Confirmation number for the second city show is 6896.

Tickets are 24 dollars and the show is Dec 30 at 8pm. Plus they have a space heater, which will be sweet. Get your tickets and get ready to laugh.

OK, So here is the final word on the tickets. With second city I cannot reserve tickets with my credit card. I can only buy them.

So please give me a show of hands of who whould like to experience one of the funniest nights of their lives Saturday, Dec 30? If we have a solid group together this is what we will do. I buy my two tickets and get a confirmation number. I will then post this number here on the IC and email it to you for repoduction.

You then will have to call second city at 312-337-3992 and buy your two tickets (One if you have no game. ) and use the confirmation number. This will insure that we get the seats together in the same section. So is anyone down?

I don't want to buy tickets if no one else wants to go.

In this group who would be who in this story?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/football/ncaa/11/26/bc.fbc.footballbet.shoo.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

HAPPY TERRIBLE CONVERSATION DAY!!

Good morning friends. I hope you had the merry of merriest Thanksgivings. I hope you enjoyed America's made-up holiday that miraculously gives you two days off during the dregs of November to celebrate our thieving of land, pillaging of ``feather heads'' and creating a corporate structure to drain us of all ``liberties'' we've been ``given'' .

Welcome back to the freedom of the work environment, where 91% of your small-talk conversations with co-workers today will go as follows:

``Hey guy, how was your (inlcude lameism, ie `Turkey Day')?''
``Oh fine Ted. Just sat around, ate a lot, watched some football.''
``Man me too, I must of gained 10 pounds (fake laugh)''
``(fake laugh) I hear that, my Dockers are pretty tight today'' (fake laughter)

This will lead to:

``Man, I just got to make it through today'' or ``The first day back is always the toughest'' or ``I'm just watching the clock today. Gotta get home and gobble on some more leftovers''

I've bolded the keys words for the day. When muttered by someone in your office, I encourage you, a la Pee-Wee's Playhouse, to respond outrageously. Maybe by saying ``I'm thankful we pillaged the Indians'' or ``Squanto was kind of a pussy'' or ``Thanksgiving leftovers are a Stoner's Paradise'' or ``I got drunk and shit in a cornucopia''.
Also, please avoid these catch phrases and bring up something random in conversation. Maybe try to throw in `Turkey Day' words to see if they're heard like ``Database entry is gravy'' or ``Yam ight want to send him an email this morning'' or ``Greenbean casserole it's nice outside today!''

Just some thoughts. Have a Collard Greens day!!

Seriously Portillo, are you questioning my myspace pics? Isn't this your cover pic? I could see this my freshman year of high school as we shouted "not even homes" and snuck into the ditch to smoke a cigarette.... Are you wearing underwhere in this picture?

LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! It is from browns myspace. It begs two questions. The first is, why would you post this picture on your myspace? The second is, "When did we all turn ugly"? I don't know when it happened, I just know it did.

Top ten reasons Chicago is going to be the best trip ever...

10. The winter cold will hide the fact that we are the most unfit group of friends assembled in the city.

9. As in San Diego for the 4th of July, the cold will provent Williams from being the only man on the beach in a bathing suit that does not fit with his underware sticking out.

8.

THE HECKLER STRIKES AGAIN...

Can I get some random comments from strange guys? My editors loved for the last ones...

http://www.theheckler.com/news/templates/?a=431&z=4

Who is down to go second city while we are in Chitown this new years? I am in for two. Who else is down. Eveyone please RSVP who wants to go and wiliams reserve us tickets please.

RAISE THE ROOF...

Hi friends. I'm a roofer. This is week 4. It's now official. Sometimes this picture is me, which is scary. Especially because I'm typically a ``pussy'' or a `momma's boy'' or ``a douche''.

Anyhow, here is my quick synopsis of my latest career venture.

1. Ladders are scary

2. Roofs are steep

3. Snow is cold

4. Carrying a 90-pound bag of shingles up a ladder, onto a steep roof, in the snow is fun and easy. It's like data entry, only less challenging.

5. Nails hurt, regardless of if you step on them, sit on them, grab one with your palm or have one hit you in the face when pryed from an older shingle.

6. Blue collar work makes you hungry.

7. McDonald's, though often blamed for our country's obesity, is relied upon for fuel by day laborers. Double cheeseburgers only cost $1.10. Monopoly is back too. I have Park Place and Boardwalk.

8. Although many man controls broom, broom controls many man.

9. There is a 10-cigarette/day minimum in blue-collar culture. Only menthols or reds allowed. No `ultra lights' here pretty boys.

10. Yelling swear words, preferably in Spanish, is permitted at any time of day, in elation, pain, discouragement or when early morning Dunkin' Donuts settles in.

Have a good week.

Roofus

TCU
Homepage

I'm needy...

http://www.hoopswriters.com/index.php?option=com_content&Itemid=2&task=view&id=97

Zzzzz....

Indulge me friends....

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/highschool/football/cs-061103libertyville,0,2881701.story?coll=cs-hs-football-print

Love,
Tony Kornheiser

PS - Viva la Chicago - 55 days or so...Weiss, get on board

Kudos to Weasel!


As you can see Weiss does appear to have all the qualities of an MVP. The intense "I want to do bad things to this philly" stare. As well as, the index finger belt loop pull. A move patented by A Dub when thrusting girls on the dance floor.

It's nice to see you have a sex-crazed-intense guy underneath all that sugary sweet exterior.

Long live Evil Weiss.

Ghost Bar - Saturday Night

I second a few things Bear said. First that this Vegas trip was one of the best in a long time. Sorry mazur but not starting off the trip losing a lot of money put everything on the right track for me. Second, Weiss really was the MVP. For a plethora of reasons. Some of which I visually document here. Not that Miller was not wonderful. Because deciding to come up and talk shit to the people standing next to me every time he found me playing craps is cool, it's just not MVP cool. The first time was the best where after screaming "Loaded Dice!" everytime someone rolled, a guy walked up, put his money down and was getting ready to play as miller leans in and says in his ears "Get your fucking guyavara out of my face." The man turns around and tells him, "I will have you kicked out of hear so fast.". Of course one of the best thing about craps is when the entire table wins together. So nothing made that table hotter then the brotherly love brought on by the MVP runner up.

So the first photo of Weiss seen here is one of my favs.
This was saturday night at the ghost bar. The things that really make this pic happen are 1) The face- nothing more can said, 2) the double fister, you should get a making it happen award for that 3) the spill on his shirt. I never saw you spill that night weiss but we have the evidence to prove it and the best of all 4) the bouncer in the background saying "Another fucking broke ass white boy who is overly excited about getting in". Everytime I am in vegas from now on, I'm going to the Palms, gamlbing there, playing there and bringing weiss.






So I follow that shot up with the hommie on the left. This was only a rondom shot of my lady dancing. But upon further review I noticed that it show weiss in full slump beaking action. We can't see the lady he was danvcing with but unlike other clandestine photos of people on the IC, we can be 100% sure that it is not mcrea. (Mazur please tell mccrea the next time you and her IM each other that she earned 2 reference this week on the IC)

To further stroke the Johnson of B-dub I have to include this photo to the right. Nicely done weiss. The best thing about this photo is after the club we were sitting in the Palms casino (last photo below) looking at all my photos and after seeing this one Weiss asks "Oh my God! Was this tonight?" Yes that was that night weiss. It looks like the double fist did its duty.

Oh ya, and Miller was arrested on Saturday.

VEGAS TALK:

Let's see....

Thursday, November 2.

Katie and I arrive at 9:30 PM, check into the Monte Carlo. Rolling high class baby! Blackjack until about 1:30 AM, Lost $50.

Friday, November 3.

Check out of Monte Carlo at 11 AM, head to Travel Lodge arrive at 11:30. (Rollin low class, very low class)

Weiss arrives promptly at 3PM. Gambling and drinking begin.

Portillo arrives at 5PM, 8 hours later than he promised. Spurs game watching party at The Wynn Hotel. Weiss and I take Spurs -5.5 (eventhough we knew Spurs suck at back-to-back games). Spurs lose, I'm pissed, Portillo and Weiss don't care for some reason.

Megan and her boyfriend (Michael Peatross) arrive at 10PM. More drinking ensues at Travel Lodge.

Marc Miller and Mark Hagan arrive at 11 PM - bruised and battered. Head down the strip to Imperial Palace.

Stop at beer stand for $2 draft. Weiss and I "merge" in line with Katie. Metrosexuals (one who looks roided up) behind us aren't pleased. They talk shit, Weiss talks back, nothing happens. "Where is Miller when you need him" - Weiss says.

Gambling and drinking from 12-1AM. Weiss plays about 7 hands of blackjack with Whitney Houston dealer, doubles his cash, tosses a $5 token at Whitney, then leaves a winner. Puts $20 on black as he screams aloud "I always bet on black", and loses.

The 9 of us then head to Harrahs 1AM - ????. I lose about $250-$300, betting like an idiot. Weiss hits on a girl from Baylor, does well until Michael Peatross tells girl that Weiss has a HUGE cock. Blur, blur, blackjack, blur, craps, more blur, video poker, blur.

Loss of Memory. Video evidence shows: Walk back to travel lodge, Weiss breakdances as we walk by live band, seawalking included. (Portillo please post this asap)

Back at hotel, Weiss, Miller, Hagan, Katie, and I get retarded high off some weed Portillo gave me. I passed out


I am sure I left out a lot, so please feel free to add (Miller, Weiss, Portillo) I have to get back to work. I'll let someone else go over the events for Saturday (I know Weiss wants to tell us about the girl he met at The Palms). All and all, one of the best trips in recent memory.

MVP: Brain "Borat" Weiss

Lesson Learned: Never stay at the Travel Lodge in Las Vegas.

Which of the items do you recognize?

Many of you were not here to witness Williams truck after the Red Dawg. It was red, and it was a truck, but that was about it. It was so small he had to cut a hole in the floor and pedal with his legs....

The popcorn, Lubahn?

The Slurpee, Mazur?

The milk, Chambers?

Carptenter posted these classic conversations in our fantasy league. I hope you find it as funny as I did....

During this past weekend, anyone who was over at Cleveland's house on Friday night got graced by Scotty G's presence. Let me tell you, it was classic. Here are how a couple of conversations went with the motivational speaker for car salesmen (that is his job now).

Nystrom: What's up Scott. Did you just get here?
Glasscock (after surveying the crowd): I am the baddest mother f-cker here aren't I?
Nystrom (completely shocked and confused): Wow

Me: What up Scotty G? What are you up to now?
Glasscock: Pretty much nothing.
Me: Wait, so you are looking for a job?
Glasscock: No, I have a job. I pretty much just sit on my couch and collect the paycheck! Me (Wanting to say, "Wait aren't you a motivational speaker for used car salesmen? Instead, walked away.)

On another side note: here is the conversation I had with Benson that same night:
Me: What up Scott? How are things?
Benson: What up Cleveland? Doing alright?
Me (deciding to go with it): Yeah, things are good.....good to see you.

The funny thing was that we were at Cleveland's house and Scott was calling me Cleveland....I guess we weren't that good of friends after all.

Who knew Carpenter was such a student of the human condition?