dark humor.



happy friday!!!

OPENING DAY IS HERE!!!!!!

Holy Fuck! I could totes see Portillo rocking these bad boys with bird poop shirt.

Rosebud?

I went to Espn.com today, which is an internet website that dubs itself the "worldwide leader in sports", and looked at the NBA standings.

I have to admit I WOL'ed (wowed out loud) to see that the Chicago Bulls are in first place in the East. If they win 7 of their last 10 they will win 60 games. How on Earth has this happened? Is Derrick Rose the best player in the National Basketball Association? If so, that is awesome. I bet it would be fun to be in Chicago right now. Costa Rica doesn't have much of a basketball league.

What is going to happen in the playoffs? Predictions? Kevin, do you think the Mavericks will win it all? You sent me an email a few weeks ago telling me that you thought that would happen.

Happy Friday. Easily the Best Worst song in ever.

Dear Miller,

Sorry to hear about your fall.

Part of me thinks Brent Lubahn would have laughed to see you as a heap of compounded bones on the concrete.

Bye,

Costa Rican Bachelor Party dreams

we'll start with this:

http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/local/emergency-crews-respond-to-rooftop-fall

Happy Birthday Adam! I'm sending you some Propecia samples in the mail as a gift for your THIRTY years on this planet!

The Final Countdown

This is my second 30-year old post, yes I know. Maybe pyschologically I am expecting some seismic mental shift where my youth evaporates and I lose all interest in things like bad drunken hip-hop dancing (see NYEve) or smoking schwag on a Saturday night at the beach. Probably not.

Anyhow, I recently thought about where I was for each birthday during my 20th decade. They are as follows:

20th: Acapulco, Mexico, spring break Soph. year. Got drunk and obnoxious. Matt Lopez pushed me into a wall. Made out with a Chi-O at a ridiculous spring break club.

21st: Day after spring break, living in West Lowden. Brown, Mazur, Portillo and I think Lund went with me to The Library. I got drunk. Then high. Then passed out and didn't go to classes the next day.

22nd: Had two tests that I "stressed" about (probably pretty important material). Hot SMU girlfriend brought me Chick-Fil-A from Dallas. Studied that night for test the next day, which was also most likely very important material.

23rd: Portillo, Faust and I celebrated in Weiss's and Bear's house on Lubbock while they were out of town for college spring break. Portillo broke in. We drank, got high, played foosball and went to the Oui.

24th: While everyone was at Lubahn's bachelor party, I was at my cousin's wedding at DisneyWorld. Cousin arrived to wedding in Cinderella carriage and the Mickey Mouse song played at reception. Great times.

25th: Living in Memphis, came home to Dallas and went to a party with TCU soccer friends. I scolded them most of the night about not caring enough about poor people (I was sooo enlightened). Met up with Faust. Went to party. Ended up on Faust's couch with mammoth boobed girl. PG-13 events ensued.

26th: Chicago. Woke up to find car window had been smashed, running shoes gone. Taught some orphans had to dominate life just like I was. Came home to meal cooked by Melissa Fink.

27th: Hated my roommates. Detested them. However, on 27th birthday, went with one of them to check out local bars we'd never been to. I picked a spot where there was one guy on the bar passed out. We left. He took me to an unknown place that turned out to be an amazing Brazilian bar with 61 hot latinas and samba music. French kissed a latina who also had a March 18th birthday. Only day I ever liked my roommate.

28th: Wasn't drinking for Lent (after Faust's wedding). Ate Peruvian dinner with friends from work and went home early. Not drinking is lame.

29th: Brown came to visit Costa Rica. Took bus to coast, rented bikes, drank all day by the beach and hung out with two Danish girls at a bar with live Calypso music. Girls came back to our hostel to smoke ganja except all I had were pencil shavings. They went home disappointed, Brown laughed at me while I passed out.

30th:?? Who knows. Trying not to tell anyone so all my non-friends here will leave me alone. Might go roller skating with girlfriend.

Most common Birthday denominator: Drinking

2nd Most: Friends on this blog

I can only hope that trend continues.

* Last thought. Recently read the following in Esquire's "What I've Learned" interview with Aaron Sorkin, who wrote A Few Good Men and the Social Network (I believe I bashed him about a month ago).

"There are signposts along the way of getting older. The first is when the Playmate of the Year is younger than you are. Suddenly, you're starting to feel dirty because you are 23 and she's 19 and you really shouldn't be looking at that picture."
"The next thing that happens is professional athletes are younger than you are."
"Then Coaches and Managers are younger than you are."
"And finally, the last one that happens: You're the same age as the President of the US."

Good luck this decade friends.

Video of the Week



Short and Funny, you will laugh. Williams might even laugh.

I found out today that my car only has few months to live.  I love my 1997 4Runner, but it is time for me to begin to look for my next ride.  Pipes has a Jeta, so I think I am going to need to go SUV.  I have a big dog and a big ego.

Here are some of my initial thoughts.  I would like to hear what you guys thinks.  

Toyota 4Runner-

+ My favorite car of all time.  Dependable, reliable, and I think I look handsome in it.

- Time for something different?

Subaru Outback

+ Dependable (Subaru's rank 2nd in overall best quality automobile in 2011), Also pretty indie rock

- Potentially too indie rock.

2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee

+ I fucking love the new Jeeps. 

- Price Tag

I love Earth

People who are "green" always get mislabeled as hippies, or tree-huggers, or over-zealous nature dorks. Having lived in a region that is just some jungle isthmus that emerged from the ocean some time ago (or maybe is sinking into it), I admit I am becoming green. I get it. I appreciate it. You live in a place that is stupefyingly rich with nature for long enough, you begin to get angry at hotels or highways or golf courses mowing through it.

I'm a f'ing green and there's no turning back.

(Double rainbow)

(Miller and I jumped off this waterfall)

Which is gayer?

Me and Brother on a Saturday morning or my Badass Spurs tweet with cool symbols?





You guys are so far behind

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Wheel of fucking fortune.

It's still on. On TV. This show dates god. Who watches it and why do they watch it? Also, Vanna White has not aged in the 3,000 yrs it's been running. Explain this to me. How? How, Vanna? Are you a fucking T1000? Did you and Indiana Jones find the holy grail, Vanna? If Vanna White and Charlie Sheen had a kid it would absolutely rule the world. There's no way you could take it out, the thing would have 100 lives. It would run on coke, eat glass and out crazy a somali pirate.

adub just needs alub. chuck sheen need be screened. hotels blow... unless they got hot tub, so butz if no hot tub, i sorry. im also sorry i keep linking drivel. found this and thought of drivel. and lark voorhies. always thought she was so hot.

can we not just be? be chuck sheee..... ssshhhhhh......

Perhaps already outdated and overused, but Charlie Sheen is an amazing person and this is an amazing graphic. Faust, take notes. This is what America wants....and needs.

embedding disabled by request, but i(adam williams) do request all watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5aSa4tmVNM&feature=player_embedded