Chambers: Tanzania: Hunter of precious animals, untamed, rugged, open to unprotected sex
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Lubahn: Turkey - sneaky, seemingly silent and suddenly a nuclear threat, accustomed to cold, eat lots of soup. Turkish-born Hedo Turkoglu is one of Lubahn's favorite NBAers.
Portillo: Nicaragua - Cheap, disorganized, dirty, fun, run by a dictator with fun-loving, well-traveled wife
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Brown: Brazil - Sweaty, likes women and a good time, expected to be wealthy soon, has hidden things lurking in its jungle
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Faust: France - Aggressive and sometimes rude, well dressed, smokes, wears scarves, on a quest to out hipster everyone else
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Miller: North Korea: Intriguing, threatening, bullying, improving, and run by a zany miltant cat with a taste for women
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Weiss: Thailand: Great to visit, fun, capital is Bangkok (like penis), sometimes troubled by in-fighting
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Bear: USA: Lovers of capitalism, TV sport packages, Whataburger and the only country you can get a BWI.
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Mazur: Israel: Wealthy, calculated, will bomb you if you come on their property and/or steal your fucking aid boat without remorse
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Butz: Russia: Biggest country in world, gritty, efficient, cold, run by a man who appointed himself Prime Minister after his Presidency just so he could still run shit
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Williams: Greece: Lots of beach time, darkish complexion, loves eating, looking for large financial bailout package