HAPPY TERRIBLE CONVERSATION DAY!!

Good morning friends. I hope you had the merry of merriest Thanksgivings. I hope you enjoyed America's made-up holiday that miraculously gives you two days off during the dregs of November to celebrate our thieving of land, pillaging of ``feather heads'' and creating a corporate structure to drain us of all ``liberties'' we've been ``given'' .

Welcome back to the freedom of the work environment, where 91% of your small-talk conversations with co-workers today will go as follows:

``Hey guy, how was your (inlcude lameism, ie `Turkey Day')?''
``Oh fine Ted. Just sat around, ate a lot, watched some football.''
``Man me too, I must of gained 10 pounds (fake laugh)''
``(fake laugh) I hear that, my Dockers are pretty tight today'' (fake laughter)

This will lead to:

``Man, I just got to make it through today'' or ``The first day back is always the toughest'' or ``I'm just watching the clock today. Gotta get home and gobble on some more leftovers''

I've bolded the keys words for the day. When muttered by someone in your office, I encourage you, a la Pee-Wee's Playhouse, to respond outrageously. Maybe by saying ``I'm thankful we pillaged the Indians'' or ``Squanto was kind of a pussy'' or ``Thanksgiving leftovers are a Stoner's Paradise'' or ``I got drunk and shit in a cornucopia''.
Also, please avoid these catch phrases and bring up something random in conversation. Maybe try to throw in `Turkey Day' words to see if they're heard like ``Database entry is gravy'' or ``Yam ight want to send him an email this morning'' or ``Greenbean casserole it's nice outside today!''

Just some thoughts. Have a Collard Greens day!!