RAISE THE ROOF...
Hi friends. I'm a roofer. This is week 4. It's now official. Sometimes this picture is me, which is scary. Especially because I'm typically a ``pussy'' or a `momma's boy'' or ``a douche''.
Anyhow, here is my quick synopsis of my latest career venture.
1. Ladders are scary
2. Roofs are steep
3. Snow is cold
4. Carrying a 90-pound bag of shingles up a ladder, onto a steep roof, in the snow is fun and easy. It's like data entry, only less challenging.
5. Nails hurt, regardless of if you step on them, sit on them, grab one with your palm or have one hit you in the face when pryed from an older shingle.
6. Blue collar work makes you hungry.
7. McDonald's, though often blamed for our country's obesity, is relied upon for fuel by day laborers. Double cheeseburgers only cost $1.10. Monopoly is back too. I have Park Place and Boardwalk.
8. Although many man controls broom, broom controls many man.
9. There is a 10-cigarette/day minimum in blue-collar culture. Only menthols or reds allowed. No `ultra lights' here pretty boys.
10. Yelling swear words, preferably in Spanish, is permitted at any time of day, in elation, pain, discouragement or when early morning Dunkin' Donuts settles in.
Have a good week.
Roofus
7 comments:
I would like to hear more on this roofing subject. Who on this post still smokes and who has recently started smoking cigarettes to impress their coworkers? Williams have you started eating hamburger helper straganoph yet? Its really good, goes great with tortilla chips and cholula. I must go.
William, glad to see you are climbing the coporate ladder. Yea, that's right, I said it.
I didn't get it.
Then I did.
Nothing can beat blue-collar work in Chi-Town. Nice job Williams, you've made me proud (and a little jealous as well).
You always did like smoking Camel Filters.
I think Mazur is saying by getting your hands a little dirty you have become a man. In his eyes.
Dunkin Donuts is really good. One thing the south is missing. However, their bagel breakfast sandwiches go through you in a hurry. I can't imagine a roof is the best place to be when you urgently have to poop.
-Parliament Light
Oddly enough, I consumed a croissant Dunkin D's sandwich this morning (opting away from the bagel). You burn so many calories up there, a poop is rare. When the occasion does arise, you have to do so in a port-o-let ravaged with Spanish porfanity. Chinga los madres de los pinche gringos!
Oh, and I haven't conformed to smoking Winston filters yet. But I took a drag.
Cool Hand Luke
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