THE BLACK SHOE DIARIES
So I woke today to find the wind chill had dipped below zero, meaning a day inside for a day-laborer.
To pass the time, I'm dedicating the day to drawing up an intinerary for Chi-Chi. In doing so, I realized that nearly all bars/venues in Chicago require a $50-$1,000 entrance fee for New Years.
Upon reading this, I entered my closet and blew the dust from my least favorite pair of shoes: THE BLACK SHOES
Knowing that we have 3 blissful nights together here, I wondered, do my friends dread the Black Shoe galas as much as I do? Then, I had a memory images montage...
(Miller being fake arrested, Williams passed out on Bear's couch, Weiss snorting Windex flavored sawdust, Lubahn shin-kicking his pregnant wife, Mazur drinking Wild Turey and yelling Indian war-chants, Kevin sleeping in the Oui parking lot with a hamburger in his mouth, Chambers at a rave, Faust crying in his bathtub, Clint pooping yellow from Test anxiety and Portillo riding a motorized scooter into the hood of his friend's car 10-15 times)
It was when I emerged from this montage that I thought, NO... NO, we are not Black Shoe wearers. If we are anything, we are a group that does NOT try to be anything we are NOT.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but, in looking for venues to drown ourselves in camaraderie, excitement and, of course, love, I mean booze, I'm looking into pretty raw, pretty random, pretty accomodating, pretty relaxed venues. To me, that is more defining of the IC than a button-down, Banana Republic, hair-gelled (no offense Brown), black-shoed crowd of people trying to superimpose their realities via dress attire.
Whoa. I fell off the wagon there. So, what do you think? No BLACK SHOES? Or are BLACK SHOES inevitable on NYE? I think maybe we bend on New Years, but, I've always thought, if I'm waiting in line to enter a place, I'll be waiting in line for the bathroom, drinks and to rub my denim-cock on the girl with the fake jubblies.
Here's to hole-in-the-walls and Sandals!
The emaciated A-Chub
7 comments:
I am proud to announce I own no black shoes. I'm so fuckin' indie hip! I do have a tan version that got me into the Ghost Bar with only mild judgement from bouncer, Maurice.
I am for camaraderie, not conformity.
i'm bringing black rod lavers... i'll wear flip flops to a black shoe place.
I'll lay it out there. I didn't land my lady by not taking her to clubs, and I know that I will go to one on NYE. Give me your insults if you want, but I aint gonna lie. Nights like this require saving weeks/months in advance. (Note: I have all ready extracted her section of the bills for the night). As such I have emotionally commited to an expensive NYE.
However I have all ready verbally secured a dive bar satuday. You are correct with what you said williams, Brown uses a lot of hair gel. Also you are correct when you say that the dive bar is our style. No necessity to dance, easy to talk, cheap drinks, perfect. I don't even like dive bars with live music cause the sound is too loud and when I get drunk I wanna talk.
So there it is, I am reserving a portion of my night on NYE for a club and in no way expect anyone to come along. Altough the ghost bar was pretty sick right guys? (BTW- when did you go to the Ghost Bar burger boy?)
Also, other than the night in southlake playing poker and smoking herb, I don't rememebr the last NYE that was not overrated. It comes with the night you know?
At least you didn't heist the hotel black shoe boy...
So, I'm Burger Boy? That makes sense.
I went to the Ghost Bar in Dallas with Roger Federer. It was a pretty funny story, maybe you read about it in the LA Times.
I really don't care what we do, I am basically along for the ride. However, I will say that I absolutely hate clubs more than I hate Hockey. BUT (yes there is a very small BUT), there are those 1-2 nights a year when I can go to a club, buy expensive drinks, where black shoes, get incredibly drunk, and make fun of the roided heterosexuals with the super-hold gel, botox in their pretty faces, wearing glossy button down shirts… AND I can have a good time. Since it is NYE, I can see it being one of those night and me being ok with it,... maybe.
I am not saying that I vote for club, I am just saying I can be ok with it,... maybe. But I can also be just fine staying in the local Chicago bar after the Bears game in my Bears gear and getting drunk with Bears fans until the clock strikes 12!!! Amen Brother!
And this is the Word of the Bear.
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