Gypsies
On my lunch break from my rigourous two-day-a-week schedule I was relaxing at a little cafe. I had a coffee and a cheese and tomato panini while I read the battle-of-the-bong. She came from the shadows with a baby in each hand. As I looked up she had thrown one of the babies high in the air and I dove to catch the gypsey baby girl just before she hit the ground. (as Miller and Lubahn can attest my hands are as supple as Art Monk's). Then I looked up and saw the other baby was already on his perilous way down. I placed the girl down in a basket of fish and chips (I also ordered that as a snack) and snagged the boy before he fell into my bangers and mash (sausage and mashed potatoes- a little dessert).
By this time the gypsy had made a move for my laptop but luckily my friends Oliver and Clive were there to stop her. Unfortuantely they were too weak to stop her and merely said in a stern voice, "Pardon me, but would you mind buggering off!" This is when she settled for the phone and dissapeared into thin air.
Piper and I are now raising two gypsy chlidren.... Avocado and Glove.
I got gyped.
4 comments:
when i was 18 i went on a eurotrip. i encountered gypsies for the first time. i had only heard of them in lore prior to my visit (there's a story to the story i heard). In Rome, on their subway (the italian's), a little horde of gypsy children were running amuck. As they were probing along one of the little girls decided that an olde woman would make the best prey. The woman's spry husband slyly made note of the child's pickpocketry, bent over, removed his undoubtedly rock solid wooden soled Italian dress shoe and used it to repeatedly whack the girl over the head with it. i mean he got in like six shots to the head. the moral of the story is that it's ok to drop gypsy babies on the ground from really high up in the air.
Both of the gypsy stories have brought me joy this morning.
Glove
I concur Mr. Williams. Definitely a smile on my face.
If Lubahn were the least bit euro he'd be 7/8 gypsie, 1/8 creepy french/alger's guy. But he's not. He's Minnesoqueerdia-serpanta.
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