IC Personal Stories
My best friends, I have a comedy writing assignment this week in which I must write a 5-page comedy sketch on a story of another person, told to me. Where else where would I turn for a comedic arsenal than right here, with the funniest mf'ers I know.
So, what I am asking you all is to please, write some of the funniest stories you've ever been involved in, seen, or heard. Of the top of my head, I think of: Portillo's sister's wedding, where his advice to the new couple was: `Don't forget to pull out'; when Mazur broke his collar bone and his Dad said take a nap; when Mazur's cat died and his Dad said... (Michael re-tell); or when Faust threw the object of the following picture at his Dad's head.
I know there are hundreds more I neglected. Please, please, please, take five minutes and at least list some of our/your funniest stories. The more specific the details the better. Then, when I write a comedy pilot for NBC called the IC, you'll be considered `Staff Writers'. I live in a fantasy land.
16 comments:
"Lubahn wuz Here" tagged on Trail Lake
When Miller, Lubahn, Lucas and I dressed as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for Halloween and got soooo high we couldnt leave the house because we realized how gay we looked.
I shit my pants at the Sheraton New Orleans during Mardi Gras, and while I was cleaning up in the handicapped stall some drunk a-hole peaked over the door an announced to the line of 40 drunks, "Whoa, this kid shit his pants!"
Good Luck Tina Fey.
whataburger where you took my eggs from my taquito so I threw my whatachicken at your face. then you chugged gravy.
The first night we went out with Matt The Cat and then I threw my big gulp at some guy running at 3 in the morning.
Stadler's Toothbrush and my balls
more to come...
during a hard rollerblade sesh i took a nasty fall. i knew something broke. to save face i got up & keep sk8ting with my peers. the pain was excruciating. upon arriving at home i find my dad in his recliner reading the newspaper. my left shoulder was noticeably lower than the right with a golf ball sized lump on the end of my clavicle. as i cry in agony my dad reassures me that im fine and to "go take a nap."
cat story 1) jr. yr high school.
while leaving my driveway in my 8 ton 1987 desert storm suburban i notice that i back over something. open the door hoping for a roll of newspaper but instead find the family cat "sweet-pea". this cat was THE family cat. we fucking cherished the thing, semi-shrine with the other family pics. i picked it up as it took it's last breathe as blood flowed out of its mouth. walk to the backyard with her. im crying now yelling for my dad. he meets me on the deck in the backyard and says "Bag it." he goes back inside. i sit in the backyard crying for about 10 mins. dad comes back outside saying he didn't know i cared about the cat.
cat story 2) 1 month ago. in SA
getting ready to start the "Happy b_Day Michael" family BBQ a stench is noticed in the backyard. my wife finds the cat dead under the back porch. i rake it out with my brother in law & we bury it. i go inside where i find my dad in his chair. we start going on like nothing is wrong. my mom walks in and my dad starts asking for receipts to the cat food he just bought. (i contain my laughter) he wants to return the cat food. "damn it i just bought all that cat food, i hope you didn't throw away the receipt." (im now laughing). Mom is pissed.
love your dad
I love Sweet-pea
I have a story that involves...
1. drinking
2. golf
3. two 50+ white trash brothers (one with a jerry curl mullet) that finished a bottle of rum while playing 18
4. betting the drunk brothers - one hole
5. one falls down the stairs, breaks his glass, blood from head and nose, and mullet brother says (in regards to the blood on his head) "i have pimples bigger than that shit"
6. convince marshall to let us play one hole so they don't drive home drunk when in reality we just want to take their money.
7. marshall follows drunk brothers in cart even when they are weaving in and out of trees chasing a squirrel.
8. driver makes looping turn in cart and jerry curl brother falls out barrel rolling across the fairway only to say "why did you take such a sharp turn?"
all through this there is a foursome of rich white couples (one lady is wearing a bonnet) and they are in aw of what has conspired.
oh and the jerry curl brother is in real estate and wanted me to contact him to buy a house right after he said he had spent time in the state pen.
not a bad saturday
why have i never heard about this? when was this?
Good to hear your branching out Matthew
this happened the saturday texas played kansas in the big 12 semifinal or championship game. we won $80. when we said we'd play for money one old man threw down $1100.
- Williams and Faust in the dance off at Trail Lake. An entire party watching as these two have a 15 minute danceoff
- Circling downtown FW shouting things that should never come out of anyones mouth
- Last night at Trail Lake playing tackle FB in a hurricane
- Williams trying to kneeboard
L
One more...
Lubahn Weekend at Bernie's at Bears house......can you turn that rock cooler up?
Stay Classy,
L
lubahn brings up a great point. someway somehow our circling of downtown fdub needs to be immortalized. be it a story, poem, or perhaps a short film. i pray that i never forget that night. i remember seeing birds fall out of trees due to the vulgarity. was that the same night that i poured a gallon of milk on willams head?
I know that Lubahn, Mazur, Williams, and myself were in the car. Who else? Was it Chambers, Miller or both?
i was there b/c i put my chewed up food in williams ear.
My God, this shit is classic. I think it just reminds me that we are a ridiculously, ridiculously gnarly-ass crew. Gnarly-ass?
I can't believe I'm saying this, but Brent Lubahn is the funniest human alive. Did I just write that? The guy is borderline illiterate. Im' prity shore he iz
However, does anything, I mean anything, beat the forever embedded image of Brent Lubahn lying face-first on a wooded floor, wearing his sunglasses with The Rock Cooler blaring directly into his eardrum.
There's reason this guy's the MVP.
Please, please post this picture again. It gives me like 6 days of consecutive laughter. Maybe post the `World's Greatest Dad' shot alongside of it.
Cant beat this:
(by Brent)
One more...
Lubahn Weekend at Bernie's at Bears house......can you turn that rock cooler up?
Stay Classy,
L
(Brent, Do you really need...
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this many fucking spaces...
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Hilarious!
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