So I know its been a while and that I have probably been written off on the blog but I figured if I told a self depricating story, you guys might forgive me.
A while back, I thought that I had received the kind of present you don't want from a girl after a night of intimacy. So I went to see a couple of doctors. The first, a girl at the free clinic who must have been doing a rotation in between model shoots, dropped my pants (don't start thinking bonck chicawawa), took a look and then told me I had to go see a specialist. Although, I could have mixed that up with my spanish given my partial embarrassment at the hot doctor looking at my slightly off color package. Well, that, and the OTHER SIX PEOPLE in the room listening to our conversation. So then I go to the other part of the free clinic where they tell me I need to return at 4 in the morning if I want to be able to "have a consultation." I think "fuck that" I'll tough it out. However, after another two or three days walking around with my legs spread wide enough to give the impression that I was sporting horse like features, I made an appointment at a private hospital nearby.
I go in and tell them I am there to see Doctor Suarez. They quickly corrected me and said I would be seeing Doctora Suarez, another female doctor, sweeeeeet. Now, my spanish has gotten pretty good but unfortunately, they don't teach this kind of vocabulary in the language institute. I get by by saying that I have a "rash" (which by the way, the word is "erupcion", similiar to erection, only different) in a sensitive area for a man. She laughs (quite professionally I might add), gives the international signal to drop my pants, and tells me to hop on the table. After a few terrible and uncomfortable jokes on my part, she takes a GOOD look, writes down a prescription and gives me the prognosis. "Un mal caso de Tiña Crural." She doesn't seem too concerned so I don't panic although my mind is racing since I don't know what the fuck is Tiña Crural. I waddle home as fast as I can, log onto the internet to find out that I have...a bad case of Jock Itch....Well worth the embarrassment of two hot doctors.
Man, it feels good to post again.
3 comments:
LOL! Great story Brown, I love the "bonck chicawawa" and the "waddle home as fast as I can."
Now I something to laugh at through my Monday.
Funny enough I had a rash for about a month and was thinking about posting it. I tried self medicating the beast with hydracortisone, diaper rash cream, olive oil, daisy pedals, SPF 100, owl urine, & LA Looks, but nothing worked.
I feared my rash could be a 'gift' from the ghosts of pussy past. Man, is it scary when you think you have an STD and will have to explain it to your girlfriend of almost 7 years.
My doctor was an old French man who fancied himself a philosopher. When he saw my name was Faust, he told me that the rash was my devil to beat, and then laughed. I did not. He then told me that it was simply a case of severe jock itch.
Thank god for jock itch.
So am I the only one with an STD?
Haha. Just kidding.
Brown, I'm glad you're disease free. Though, a condom-free life is much more adventurous.
Love u
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