As the oldest and wisest member, I think it is time we pay homage to our elder.
I would like to begin a new tradition on the IC, we should celebrate each person's birthday with a post and our favorite story including said individual.
Happy birthday big guy. My favorite story about Lubahn....
It would have to be in Austin September 2007. Seeing David Potter at that late night I-Hop (or wherever we were) and Potter was wearing a UT shirt (eventhough he has no affliation what so ever). Well Lubahn HATES David Potter, and he made it clear to the entire group that night (and probably to David Potter too bc he was sitting about 15 feet away from us)... "I fucking hate that guy..." With his blood shot drunk eyes, all Lubahn did the entire meal was shake his head and say the phrase.... "Oh my God, I fucking hate that guy."
The night before I moved to LA, Chambers threw me a little party at his house on Stadium. It was a good night. Around midnight I looked around for Brent as we were all going to head to a bar. He was gone.
Apparently the drunk ass decided to leave without telling anyone. And in order to be extraordinarily stealth he drove away with his headlights off. He later informed me that after pulling out he forgot to turn them on.
He drove from TCU to Trail Lake, drunk, with his headlights off.
When I got to know true Lubahn, not the smiley guy in cargos that shook your hand at parties and called you buddy, he told me that he paid for 22% of the weed he smoked at Trail Lake. He also told me that he sometimes hid Faust's weed in discrete locations so that he could smoke it later and tell Faust `all the weed is gone'.
He was rumored to hide it in couch cushions, carpet samples, toaster ovens, his chest hair, Bailey's misbehaved vagina and crocks.
After Lubahn forgot to tell us Melissa was moving in, Portillo moved out and eventually I did too. When I did, I took the couch that Bailey used to eat. On moving day, my mom and sister came over to help me transport some stuff. I took the couch from the Red Dog and brought it into my shady apartment. My mom carried one side and I the other. We carried the couch to the doorway but, in order to fit through the door, we had to remove the cushions. When I did, I saw a bag of dirty brown Perottis schwag crammed into the back of the couch. I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it in my pocket. My mom asked me what it was. I said a Burger King wrapper.
i think it was the same night we drove loops around the library bar, going the wrong way on a one way street, screaming the most tasteless vulgarities known to mankind. williams, lubahn, and I are in the back seat of fausts jeep. after stopping for williams to pick up his groceries for the week at 7-11 at 3am we continue our way home. lubahn then convinces williams that i just spit on him, or poured something on him, etc. I don't really remember what lubahn did to williams which he blamed on me, it's not important. what is important was that lubahn was the guilty party. williams then poured a big gulp slushy on me due to lubahn being a snake. i then poured a gallon of milk on williams head. we arrive at williams apt. where we continue to hang out. out of the blue lubahn kicks me in the shin. i take him down on williams staircase and punch him until my knuckles bleed.
same theme different night. there could have been more of us there but i remember faust, williams, lubahn, and I. after driving through everyone’s yard on my block we decide to stop in front of my house and get out. lubahn kicks williams the hardest i've ever seen anyone get kicked in the shin. williams shin has a golf ball on it. williams dominates lubahn for about 10 minutes. at the end of this 10 minutes lubahn is on the ground laughing. faust, williams, and i pour whipped cream, nuts, and big red down lubahns pants. he tried to get up, williams pushes him down, takes two steps back, and kicks him violently in the ribs.
hows the lipitor working lubahn. you're older than dog mess you fucker.
7 comments:
GOD DAMNIT DUDE....I'm not 30!
Happy 30th. It does explain why so crotchety.
Happy birthday big guy. My favorite story about Lubahn....
It would have to be in Austin September 2007. Seeing David Potter at that late night I-Hop (or wherever we were) and Potter was wearing a UT shirt (eventhough he has no affliation what so ever). Well Lubahn HATES David Potter, and he made it clear to the entire group that night (and probably to David Potter too bc he was sitting about 15 feet away from us)... "I fucking hate that guy..." With his blood shot drunk eyes, all Lubahn did the entire meal was shake his head and say the phrase.... "Oh my God, I fucking hate that guy."
The night before I moved to LA, Chambers threw me a little party at his house on Stadium. It was a good night. Around midnight I looked around for Brent as we were all going to head to a bar. He was gone.
Apparently the drunk ass decided to leave without telling anyone. And in order to be extraordinarily stealth he drove away with his headlights off. He later informed me that after pulling out he forgot to turn them on.
He drove from TCU to Trail Lake, drunk, with his headlights off.
Happy 28th Birthday, L
When I got to know true Lubahn, not the smiley guy in cargos that shook your hand at parties and called you buddy, he told me that he paid for 22% of the weed he smoked at Trail Lake. He also told me that he sometimes hid Faust's weed in discrete locations so that he could smoke it later and tell Faust `all the weed is gone'.
He was rumored to hide it in couch cushions, carpet samples, toaster ovens, his chest hair, Bailey's misbehaved vagina and crocks.
After Lubahn forgot to tell us Melissa was moving in, Portillo moved out and eventually I did too. When I did, I took the couch that Bailey used to eat. On moving day, my mom and sister came over to help me transport some stuff. I took the couch from the Red Dog and brought it into my shady apartment. My mom carried one side and I the other. We carried the couch to the doorway but, in order to fit through the door, we had to remove the cushions. When I did, I saw a bag of dirty brown Perottis schwag crammed into the back of the couch. I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it in my pocket. My mom asked me what it was. I said a Burger King wrapper.
i think it was the same night we drove loops around the library bar, going the wrong way on a one way street, screaming the most tasteless vulgarities known to mankind. williams, lubahn, and I are in the back seat of fausts jeep. after stopping for williams to pick up his groceries for the week at 7-11 at 3am we continue our way home. lubahn then convinces williams that i just spit on him, or poured something on him, etc. I don't really remember what lubahn did to williams which he blamed on me, it's not important. what is important was that lubahn was the guilty party. williams then poured a big gulp slushy on me due to lubahn being a snake. i then poured a gallon of milk on williams head. we arrive at williams apt. where we continue to hang out. out of the blue lubahn kicks me in the shin. i take him down on williams staircase and punch him until my knuckles bleed.
same theme different night. there could have been more of us there but i remember faust, williams, lubahn, and I. after driving through everyone’s yard on my block we decide to stop in front of my house and get out. lubahn kicks williams the hardest i've ever seen anyone get kicked in the shin. williams shin has a golf ball on it. williams dominates lubahn for about 10 minutes. at the end of this 10 minutes lubahn is on the ground laughing. faust, williams, and i pour whipped cream, nuts, and big red down lubahns pants. he tried to get up, williams pushes him down, takes two steps back, and kicks him violently in the ribs.
hows the lipitor working lubahn. you're older than dog mess you fucker.
I'm 28 and a much better person now!
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