Well, the results are in. And I will make them available to the public because I am sure there will be some naysayers. :)
1st Place: Adam Faust
2nd Place: Matt Chambers
3rd Place: Adam Williams
Honorable Mentions
Michael Mazur
Kevin Dalrymple
Brent Lubahn
Most First Place Votes in a Sport
Mazur (Golf)
After the comments I would like to award Adam Williams with the Sportsmanship Award
Let the anger begin.....
35 comments:
First off, Matt Chamber should not have sniffed the podium...he shouldn't have even got an invite
Secondly, Williams is on the podium and he belongs there.
Finally....Adam Faust as the number one athlete in the IC. Ok, so he likely makes the podium but number one seems a bit high, although the photo works because his head is so big it doesn't fit into frame
My thoughts,
L
Matt Chambers and Adam Williams were Division I athletes. Because only Lee Portillo was sort of a Division I athlete, he is the only other person I would even consider to be a real athlete amongst our friends. Lubahn, you played DIII, right? You half count.
None of you had to wake up three days a week for 6am weights, had to run 3 miles under 18 minutes or have any what a `beep test' is. Do you? No, you don't.
I'm glad your little survey merits points for `water sports' and considers that `athletics'. You white kids are silly. You're good at water sports if your parents have enough money to own a lakehouse and/or boat during your youth. You can't go in your backyard and kneeboard.
I have no anger, so don't misconstrue this message as such, but I don't think most of you are realistic in your abilities. You never played sports beyond high school, where everyone who doesn't have cerebral palsy plays a varsity sport.
Get out of your moronic encasings and understand that while you were wake-n-baking or smoking American Spirits or playing the Pi Kapps at the Rickel or watching Pleasure Island, athletes that represented a university were at playing Fresno State or Univ. of Wisconsin or UNC-Charlotte.
I leave you with this:
I bet Michael Mazur could beat LeBron at golf, I bet Adam Faust could beat Randy Moss at tennis and I bet Kevin Dalrymple can do cooler wakeboarding tricks than Brian Urlacher. Doesn't mean you're better athletes.
TCU had a good men's soccer program. Whatever happened to it?
If Enrique and snaggle tooth "Klipfel" walked on I bet Portillo and Lubahn could have...maybe even Faust.
We get it. Chambers and A Dub cleaned up in the soccer survey but I've never seen A Dub OR Chambone hit a 85 mph fastball or even stand up straight on a snowboard.
um, Williams, did you not see that you and Matt Chambers were on the podium?
Only thing worse than a sore loser is a sore winner. Well, sore bronze anyway.
i have sores on my penis.
Faust, did you not remind yourself that you can only vote once?
Williams, just because you are tall does not mean you are good at basketball, all it means is that you are tall.
Did Chambers vote himself #1 at everything? That's the only possible way he could have got 2nd place.
And yes, waterskiing is a sport, takes a lot skill and endurance. And I am a slalom skiier, not a fucking wakeboarder. I dont drink the dew.
These results were skewed, people voted more than once.
...followed by cock measurements, and contest to see who pees the farthest.
Thank you for the half point Adam how noble.
"I'm glad your little survey merits points for `water sports' and considers that `athletics'." -
It probably doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you drink several gallons of LBJ every time we attend a lake function...hmmmm
Watersports are money and are absoutely a sport...Mazur and Bear are dominant and nothing, NOTHING beats tube wars which could be considered the ultimate sport.
(Insert memory of Miller leaping from his tube and then ripping my hands from mine and disposing of me...while laughing...like a piece of litter)
Kevin, good argument on the basketball and me being `tall'.
Remember when you guys forgot to score on us and lost 11-0? I also dunked on you guys, which is when you jump and throw the ball through the hoop in a downward direction. Then when you tried to shoot, your shot was `blocked' or re-directed in the river.
Ok, so Brian Weiss is better than Dwight Howard at snowboarding. I think that is a fact, correct? Brian may also be better than Dwight at tennis, soccer and golf than Dwight Howard. So, re-take the quiz comparing only Brian Weiss to Dwight Howard and you might find that Brian Weiss is a `better athlete' than Dwight Howard. Solid logic you group of Tolstoys.
I expect you'll all reply and naysay can call me arrogant and re-assert your athletic prowess and I'll stand alone in my assertion, as I often do. But again, take a long look at yourselves and your athletic intramural histories and, again, at least consider the notion that you are painstakingly disillusioned with your capabilities. Because, whoever you are reading this, you are probably not fast, you probably don't jump high and you probably aren't `strong'. Yet somehow, you actually think you are `athletic'.
Can't wait to catch up. What have you guys been reading?
That's a joke too.
7 feet 6 inches from tip of dick to furthest splash of pee pee. anybody got anything on that?
Nice rebuttal A Dub. But lets test your D 1 logic. According to your theory, this person (copy and paste link below)is a better athlete because she participates in TCU sport. Secondly Mr. Jenner, when did this survey turn into the NFL combine? If thats the case I can trhow the tightest spiral/fade route out of the IC. On the other hand your farts are atroucious (sp?). That is all.
http://gofrogs.cstv.com/sports/c-rifle/mtt/sullivan_lauren00.html
Lauren Sullivan is pretty.
I may not win at arm wrestling or run like Carl Lewis, but I am a good athelete.
Lubahn, as usual, you are an idiot.
Still hesitant to declare Faust #1 because I consider myself a better athelete than he is (no offense but it's true). Faust would probably beat me in Tennis, but nothing more.
Bear, the only thing we have ever competed in is tube wars, arm wrestling (see first statement), and maybe a few chugging contests. You have me in watersports (and bar room darts).
Weiss, When is the last time you hit an 85 mph fastball aside from PS3 or the Wii? I haven't hit one since RBI Baseball back in '89. You probably could beat me in Tennis and snowboarding (only b/c never tried), but nothing more.
Miller, get some penicillen (spelling?). My pee reached 15'7" but I was on the second floor trying to hit one of the little indians in the fab yard.
A-dub, I agree with you.
Straight from the land of curry and cleanliness,
Chambers
One correction, I do remember the tight spirals from Weiss.
Weiss/Chambers - Hot route, hot route,..., I'll see you in the end zone IC.
RIP - I love me some me
You're my boy CHAMBONE!
Chambers, remember when you earned a soccer scholarship to Charleston Southern and were named first team All-State? Then you started for a team that played in Conference USA. Good job.
Remember when I scored against SMU, the number four team in the country (though the ball just kind of hit me in the face)?
That was the same night Kevin Dalrymple had three tackles for the third string Lambda Chi intramural team.
Day two.
Mr. Kanye West is in the building. What do they put in the water in Chicagoland? How the fuck can any of you fuckers take this shit seriously? People are starting to sound like fucking Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite up in this bitch. Williams, my friend, please don't bring your athlete ego as a date to Fausts wedding. I want to see the worm. Whoever does the worm at Fausts wedding reception is hands down the best athlete……. this is based upon being able to do the worm, of course.
Yes We Can,
Michael
P.S. XXOO
Mike is right. This is getting retarded. I was furiously angry at Williams last night. And then....
"I was thinking about what you said to me the other day- I stayed up half the night thinking about it, and then something occurred to me an I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep and haven't thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?
You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about."
-Good Will Hunting
That quote isn't even applicable. It wreaks of `last word in' posturing, which is exactly what this response is intended to accomplish.
This is a pretty absurd commentary strand. It's fun though.
`It takes a big man to cry. It takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.'
- Jack Handey
Chambone, I actually hit an 80 mph pitch last week at the cages. 3 for 10. That's right, I went to the cages in anticipation of the softball game this week and it was the first time in my life I hit slowpitch softball.
Williams, did you end up beating SMU that game you scored on accident? Badass. What was the overall record in your tenure at the famed TCU men's soccer program? Just to follow up on your D 1 arguement Kyle Flodder is a better "athlete" than the IC excluding Chambers and Williams.
I would also like to add that I have the best jump shot in the IC. I would also like to put $20 on a one v. one game on the blacktop with Chambers and a shooting contest with A Dub. I am pretty confident I would win. So when you make it back from the Dajaarling limited we should arrange this.
Regards,
Uncle Rico
I FUCKING SHOT A 67 FROM THE TIPS AT BRACKENRIDGE GOLF COURSE. YES A FUCKING 67! FIVE UNDER PAR. THIS WAS NINE YEARS AGO. MY DICK IS BLOODY FROM IT SLOSHING ALONG THE GROUND ALL DAY AND MY BACK IS SOAR FROM WHEELING AROUND MY BALLS IN A WHEEL BARREL. I'M HANDS-DOWN THE MOST LEGIT ATHLETE TO PAINT THIS BLOG WITH THROW-UP AND I LOVE TO FREE-BASE.
YES WE CAN,
JUNK MASTER
This is never ending.
Brian, you, Kevin and Portillo lost to Adam & Adam 11-0. You guys did not score.
So, if your claim is as follows:
`I would also like to add that I have the best jump shot in the IC.'
Remind yourself of that 11-0 drubbing, followed by an 11-4 murder, whenever you lie to yourself about your basketball abilities.
Brian, I am not good at basketball. I'm not. I play against a bunch of teenage kids every week, and they are FAR, FAR better than me. They dunk on me because I AM NOT GOOD.
So, with the reminder that I AM NOT GOOD, you lost to my team 11-0, meaning you did not score. So...if I am NOT GOOD at basketball, you are VERY, VERY NOT GOOD.
You do have a gorgeous jumper in warm-ups, however.
The blog is officially back.
And what better way for it to return but in a fury of ugliness and self-propaganda.
- Gold Medal Winner
I was challenging Chinstraps b/c he was implying he was naturally better at any given sport and I was simply disputing that claim. I gurantee I could beat you best of 10 from beyond the arc.
Yes, you won that day we played on a cardborad foursquare and "dunked" in an 8 ft rim that bent downwards at a 45 degree angle. Good job. Fair matchup? No.
You also play when you work.
I hardly feel that is a fair assesment of my abilities on the court. I'm going to leave it at that and shut up b/c I'm just getting angrier and am throwing fuel onto the fire.
To defend Williams (yes, I said it).
I think we were playing on the same court, right? Same rim? So, it wouldn't matter if it was 30ft rim and we were playing in quicksand.
Take the 11-0 loss like men. You too, Kevin.
How was your back after that game Williams? You sure did carry your team....
Faust, get up real quick....because you're on Williams dick.
Weiss, you're retarded.
ADAM AND ADAM UNITE!!!
Wow, I cant wait for this weekend, thanks Adam Williams.
P.S. Williams, you are tall which automatically makes you hard to beat at basketball. But in a skills/shooting competition, Weiss would win. Do you know why Adam W? Because you are lengthy and uncoordinated.
You are also a bully too.
i'm pretty sure everybody's got me beat in the length department... maybe not girth though.
I had 4 of the 11 points. And shot 4-5 from the field. Maybe not all-star stats- but if you do the math real quick I beat your team 4-0.
- Adam/Adam
I'll take $20 on Williams from beyond the arch.
Bear/Weiss, I would just let that game die because although drunk on a rock in the middle of the river I could see you got your asses handed to you like school girls....and you had a sub...well you had Portillio
Welcome to the A-TEAM LUBAHN!!!
BEST MEN UNITE!!!
Bear, I think this absurd argument has me more charged for the weekend than ever. I still cannot believe that you and Weiss are using the `skills competition' argument.
BRING ON THE COMPETITION!!!!
Miller, these penis jokes are beutifully timed, mind you.
that reminds me, not only am i the opposite of endowed, but the time it takes me to go from vienna sausage to oscar mayer and back is less than 30 seconds.
Miller, you have what the doctor once diagnosed me as "a grower, not a shower".
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