Quote of the Week

This is George Carlin. I like this picture and prefer it to the common bald and zany Carlin images from his later years. I included 11 quotes because Carlin was big on the rule of 10 (which he talks about in his 10 commandments stand-up). He thought that the use of the number 10 satisfied people, such as Top 10 lists, 1-10 ranking scales, 10 fingers, 10 toes, etc.

For someone who wore black to work the day after he died (I really did), the 11 quotes are my shout-out to someone I respected for his willingness to comment, dissect and usually scathe, many of the "big issues" in American culture. He was rigid and too crass for many people's tastes, but, if some of the following quotes don't make you go "hmm, never of thought of it like that", then I apologize for wasting your time.

Hope you had merry weekends. I miss you and love you all. Also, I am home from Dec. 23 to Jan. 3. Can we please start talking New Years?? Please.

Carlinisms:

* The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

* “No comment” is a comment.

* What was the best thing before sliced bread?

* If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

* Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

* Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

* I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

* I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

* Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view

* Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

* Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.