Adam Faust = Macaulay Culkin
After accosting his brother for eating all his cheese pizza, Macaulay (Kevin McAllister) snapped at his mom and dad, stormed to the attic bedroom and ended up missing the trip to France.
Reread the above sentence, replace brother with sister and eating cheese pizza with smoking last cigarette.
Bam.
Culkin is Faust.
Mac C. was also arrested for possession of weed in 2004 and is the gayest non-gay in movies. He is so not gay, he is dating Mila Kunis, whose name is equally as eccentric as Piper Huddleston's.
Matthew Chambers = William Zabka
The famed leader of the Kobra Kai, Zabka was once a bright light on the scene. Then, just as it seemed his career would take off, poof, he was gone.
Put him in a Body Bag.
(Also appeared in Hot Tub Time Machine, Chambers favorite movie)
Lee Portillo = Harry Henderson
The following plotline is the story of Harry Henderson with splices of Lee Portillo's life:
On their way home to Seattle from a camping trip, the Hendersons accidentally run over a strange and unknown creature *wearing white tennis shoes and a birdshit shirt. Unsure what else to do, they strap it to the roof of their car and take it home. Once there, the revived creature goes wild, *borrowing all of their clothing, eating bathroom soap and putting his boogers underneath the couch. Eventually, the family realizes that the creature is the legendary fuzzy albino Mexican, and is actually very gentle, *though lacks common tact and manners.
Kevin Dalrymple = Bill Fagerbakke
Who else could be Craig T. Nelson's assistant besides Bear?
Fagerbakke (Is that pronounced "Fag-er-back"?) was Dobber, or as the picture reads "Dobbs". He is 6'6'', he played college football at Idaho, got hurt, and took up theatre at SMU.
Dobbs also loves to jumprope and has biked across a glacier. Kevin loves to jumprope but hasn't biked a glacier; yet.
While I couldn't find a good nickname for him (though Dobber is awesome), he is currently the voice for an animated transformer named Bulkhead and Patrick Star on SpongeBob Squarepants.
Bear, meet Bear.
Brian Weiss = Joey Lawrence
Known for his outlandish behavior, catchphrases and boyish good looks, Lawrence says "Woahhh" like Weiss says "Mean, Mean Cry!".
Both have a passion for dance, women and song. Lawrence can ryhme, Weiss can flow, these two go together like "Whoa, Whoa!!"
Lawrence got his break in a Cracker Jack commercial and then sang "Give My Regards to Broadway" on Johnny Carson. I can see Weiss doing both of those, in a tux on roller skates, and one-upping the legend that is Joe Joe Lawrence. I also bet Lawrence couldn't beat Big Taco in a Battle Rap after Faust's wedding.
Adam Williams = Sinbad
Fat, not that funny and both think they are a lot blacker than they really are.
Both have struggled with paying taxes and, though Sinbad beat Williams to the punch, both have considered filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy in the past year.
Bad dancer. Went bald.
What more proof do you need?
20 comments:
It's midnight.
Sinbad needs some sleep.
I don't think I am overstating it when I say this may be my favorite post ever.
I saw Sinbad live once. Yes, you read that correctly- and he was hilarious.
Wait a minute, you saw Sinbad live?! Did you make a point to go?
Oh, and the Macaulay Culkin comparison was pretty dead on. You even kind of look like him in a way. Nice work in The Good Son, one of the creepiest movies ever.
Portillo as Harry Henderson, "borrowing all of their clothing, eating bathroom soap and putting his boogers underneath the couch." This is how Weiss and I felt when we lived on Lubbock street.
Dobbs. This made me laugh. Where in the hell did you come up with that?
Yes, and Sinbad was funny. I stand by that.
This became a pretty 80s post, which was not the original intention.
Weiss was definitely the hardest. I thought about Bud Bundy, the kid who played Boner on Family Ties and Bobcat Goldwaithe. Any good Weiss idears? (Remember, this is bad actors and none are intended to be compliments)
I also didn't want to give Chambers too much love because I knew he wouldn't read it.
I like the David Faustino reference. Weiss is too smart to be boner- who I think recently committed suicide.
I think Weiss should have been Eddie from Family Matters.
Boner did actually commit suicide. Wow. How and Why do you know that?
After reading that, I had to remove Boner from the realm of possibility.
Eddie would have been great. As would Waldo Heraldo Faldo, Eddie's best friend and neighbor.
i feel like tony shalhoub is a good match for weiss.
Because we live in the United States and that is front page news over here.
Bad actor? I will argue that Macaulay Culkin was, and might still be, a damn good actor.
Weiss. How about Edward Furlong?
I am not sure I ever told you guys this but guess who was kicking it with the Utah Jazz the famed night I meet Karl Malone? That's right....Sinbad was cold chilling at DFW.
He was always overlooked b/c of the mailman but he was there. His hair looked like Velcro and he was wearing the Z Cavarichies and silk button up. Since we are on the topic, What's your favorite Sinbad movie?
I would have liked to be Joey McIntyre or Corey Haim (watched Silver Bullet the other night and it may have been his best acting)
Almost gave you Corey Haim. Unfortunately, he is also dead.
Favorite Sinbad movie?
Any by the way Mila Kunis is hot.
House guest or Necessary Roughness.
Any by the way I don't even look at your trade offers anymore. Delete it.
Hahaha. I'd forgotten about Lubahn's terrible trade offers. Every time he sends you trash, post it.
The only trade I ever made with Lubahn was Doug Christie for PJ Brown.
Sinbad was great in necessary roughness. As was Paul Backula.
Lubahn wants Calvin Johnson for Knowshow Moreno and Eddie Royal.
Laterrance Dunbar for Calvin Johnson straight up...no chasers.
One of the best posts with follow up posts I have ever seen...
If you were in 3rd grade and I was your teacher, i'd put a gold star sticker on this assignment. I'd also circle the faust/macaulay section in red pen and write the word "BINGO" in size 32 font.
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