Did everyone get a chance to watch me in the finale of The Sing Off last night? We did not win, but I gave it all I had. (Unless you enjoy a cappella signing, you may want to skip to the 2:00 minute mark or so).
Weiss, the little man is my doppelganger. That is the context.
Who hates Christmas? I fucking hate it. I just got home from the mall because I had to buy presents for all my little buttfucking cousins and the place was a nightmare. Everone is rude. No one wants to be there. People who work seasonal retail tell themselves they are better than this and act as such. Well, you arent, so suck my dick and scan this Hello Kitty onesy. It took me 30 minutes to find a parking spot and I was turned away from the garage twice by men in reflective jackets, apparantly hired to be cocksuckers at the holidays when the garage is full. I was screaming at the top of my lungs through the car window at people before I even walked through the door. I also did not recieve the announcement that parking lots have recently been reserved only for drivers with no regard for human life or a basic understanding of driving laws.
Who shops at JCPennys? Why do they even exist?
I then went to WalMart for wrapping paper where I waited in line for about 45 minutes while the women and 2 children in front of me did not have enough on her food stamp card (they get cards now, not stamps) to purchase the $170 worth of groceries in her cart. She just misestimated by $168 and change.....had $1 plus on the card. She made several phone calls to an unknown food stamp/card source who miraculously could do nothing. I guess they dont just recharge the card on the spot. She bought laundry detergent with the remaining food stamp/card balance and some change and left. I then felt like a dickhead for not offering to pay for some of the groceries, since she had kids. I tried to make myself feel better by saying to myself that those children did not need the grape soda and other poor food choices in the women's cart. Then, I felt racist.
I arrived home and laid $100 on a college basketball game that I know nothing about to remind myself of the joys of disposable income. It made me feel worse yet about the previous incident.
I am now drinking bourbon and hoping for a brutal snow/sleet storm, so I dont have to get my soul crushed at work tommorrow.
I had a feeling the undersized Soprano was you. I also underestimated your Hooiser-Ness in assuming you don't watch white trash prime time television that indoctrinates you to shop at JC Penny's, Wal-Mart and Hot Topic. Christmas is for the birds...
Weiss, I dont watch this shit. You have to be kidding me. Apparantly, half of my family, friends, and work associates do, since I recieved no less than 20 emails, texts, and VMs about the guys who looks like me on the show.
jesus? uh, that dude bailed. we got bigger fish to fry than saviorship, peace on earth and good will to humanity. so when's the next american idolater's reunion? sigh-n me up.
costa rica for nye, right? y'all get "real housewives of beverly hills" down there, right? not coming if that shit's not playing 24-7.
butz-drinking yourself into oblivion out of pseudo-holiday-depression/ aggression/ inspiration/ consciousness is only worthwhile if you intend to masturbate profusely, blow massive peruvian snow up the nose ori-feces, fuck transvestite hookers and then throw money into the money pit (lacked imagination).
anyway we can speed this whole existence process up? come on apocalypse!!!
marry christians!!! keep it in the fam and inbreed.
Grape soda, which you referred to correctly, is known as Purple Drink.
Did the cart also have surplus Red Drink?
Food stamps are now known as Link cards. They're like VISA gift cards for people who pop out kids.
First of the month convo:
1: You get dat Link filled? 2: Yep 1: Let's go get dat drank on.
USA! USA! USA!
PS, if you think the ramifications of slavery do not continue to haunt the African American race, you are gravely mistaken. Give someone an opportunity after 200 years of soul crushing and oppression, mutha f'ers don't have the first clue where to start.
Sorry. I used to have kids in Memphis who, on Apr.30, would bet the impending May 1 deposit on their Link cards with other Link card kids on who would receive their money first. If Kid A (radiohead?) received money before Kid B, Kid B would buy cheetoes and Red drink for Kid A.
12 comments:
LOL! I watched the entire thing waiting for a single shot of Butz, but either the camera doesnt pan down that low or Butz requested no single shots.
What is the meaning of this? How about a little context please.
Weiss, the little man is my doppelganger. That is the context.
Who hates Christmas? I fucking hate it. I just got home from the mall because I had to buy presents for all my little buttfucking cousins and the place was a nightmare. Everone is rude. No one wants to be there. People who work seasonal retail tell themselves they are better than this and act as such. Well, you arent, so suck my dick and scan this Hello Kitty onesy. It took me 30 minutes to find a parking spot and I was turned away from the garage twice by men in reflective jackets, apparantly hired to be cocksuckers at the holidays when the garage is full. I was screaming at the top of my lungs through the car window at people before I even walked through the door. I also did not recieve the announcement that parking lots have recently been reserved only for drivers with no regard for human life or a basic understanding of driving laws.
Who shops at JCPennys? Why do they even exist?
I then went to WalMart for wrapping paper where I waited in line for about 45 minutes while the women and 2 children in front of me did not have enough on her food stamp card (they get cards now, not stamps) to purchase the $170 worth of groceries in her cart. She just misestimated by $168 and change.....had $1 plus on the card. She made several phone calls to an unknown food stamp/card source who miraculously could do nothing. I guess they dont just recharge the card on the spot. She bought laundry detergent with the remaining food stamp/card balance and some change and left. I then felt like a dickhead for not offering to pay for some of the groceries, since she had kids. I tried to make myself feel better by saying to myself that those children did not need the grape soda and other poor food choices in the women's cart. Then, I felt racist.
I arrived home and laid $100 on a college basketball game that I know nothing about to remind myself of the joys of disposable income. It made me feel worse yet about the previous incident.
I am now drinking bourbon and hoping for a brutal snow/sleet storm, so I dont have to get my soul crushed at work tommorrow.
Jesus better get back soon.
Merry Christmas
Butz
I had a feeling the undersized Soprano was you. I also underestimated your Hooiser-Ness in assuming you don't watch white trash prime time television that indoctrinates you to shop at JC Penny's, Wal-Mart and Hot Topic. Christmas is for the birds...
I think Butz might have just won comment of the year.
Weiss, I dont watch this shit. You have to be kidding me. Apparantly, half of my family, friends, and work associates do, since I recieved no less than 20 emails, texts, and VMs about the guys who looks like me on the show.
i am proud to call myself the friend of geniuses.
jesus? uh, that dude bailed. we got bigger fish to fry than saviorship, peace on earth and good will to humanity. so when's the next american idolater's reunion? sigh-n me up.
costa rica for nye, right? y'all get "real housewives of beverly hills" down there, right? not coming if that shit's not playing 24-7.
butz-drinking yourself into oblivion out of pseudo-holiday-depression/ aggression/ inspiration/ consciousness is only worthwhile if you intend to masturbate profusely, blow massive peruvian snow up the nose ori-feces, fuck transvestite hookers and then throw money into the money pit (lacked imagination).
anyway we can speed this whole existence process up? come on apocalypse!!!
marry christians!!! keep it in the fam and inbreed.
bailed ryhmed with nailed, punny.
american idol=golden cow=10 commandments... read em then subvert.
keV, you rock. the kdal pool pick'em is sooo funny for forum felatio.
The year of Butz continues.
Grape soda, which you referred to correctly, is known as Purple Drink.
Did the cart also have surplus Red Drink?
Food stamps are now known as Link cards. They're like VISA gift cards for people who pop out kids.
First of the month convo:
1: You get dat Link filled?
2: Yep
1: Let's go get dat drank on.
USA! USA! USA!
PS, if you think the ramifications of slavery do not continue to haunt the African American race, you are gravely mistaken. Give someone an opportunity after 200 years of soul crushing and oppression, mutha f'ers don't have the first clue where to start.
Sorry. I used to have kids in Memphis who, on Apr.30, would bet the impending May 1 deposit on their Link cards with other Link card kids on who would receive their money first. If Kid A (radiohead?) received money before Kid B, Kid B would buy cheetoes and Red drink for Kid A.
Money well spent.
Thank you for that sobering glimpse into Memphisian society.
Im going to JCPenneys tomorrow just to tell people about what I experienced.
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