This is everything I want to say to anyone that complains about air travel and that idiotic, superfluous question of ''How was your flight?" which I will hear 12 times in the next two weeks. The answer to that question should always be: "Well, I was transported through the air on a magic flying machine that is far beyond my levels of comprehension and I arrived in another city/country in a matter of hours, so I guess it wasn't that f'king bad that I had to wait 13 minutes in the security line."

Airports should play this clip on loop to remind us what assholes we are.

Louis CK for President.

http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/1myllo/stand-up-louis-ck--the-miracle-of-flight

LinkedIn Request

This might disappoint some of you...

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds like our favorite song doesn't really have as much meaning as we thought it did.  http://www.jasonpearce.com/blog/2006/07/03/pulling-the-magic-carpet-out-from-under-our-members/

Very Incongnito

Williams and I have tickets to three World Cup games in Brazil. A party is about to break out.

Yao and Mugsy on a Shanghai balcony. A party is about to break out.

I know its a video (vid-joe) but I haven't spoken for some time now. This is also for Mazur and his undyiing love for Weezy! Viva la blog!

Riddle Me This Riddle Me That

Can you figure it out:

MRC = 1C

MRC + LMC = 2C

MRC + LMC + JLC = 4C

Hint:  I rarely post so it probably isn't important.

C

Today, I am man (sort of).

I awoke this morning to this debacle.  I had to ask myself, "Can I change a tire?"  The answer is? 

Sort of.

With a little help from the manual and a 130 year old neighbor who crumbled over, I changed my tire this morning.

Is this anything for a man to brag about?

Certainly Not. 

Is it something a graphic designer and wearer of questionably-rolled-up-jeans IS proud of?

You're damn right I am.  

Friday Night Cocktails - 10/11

We are opening the doors to our casa next Friday night for anyone who is in town. Come over and grabs some drinks!

1305 Ashmore Drive Keller, TX 76248

Crossfit has been really great for Mazur

 

poll question: cook at home or eat cooked food out (like, make a friend cook or pay someone for preparing/cooking your food)?

IC Funny Or Die
We post enough videos on here, seems like we should have our own version of Funny Or Die.
First round opponents:
Fox vs Joe

Video 1:

Video 2

Which is Funny, Which Should Die? 

At lease we aren't dealing with this...

I dont care that we are suppose to root for UT against non-conf opponents now that we are in the Big 12...  Them getting spanked to BYU on Saturday night was flat-out hilarious.

GO FROGS!

Yall ready for some deep meaning full football?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lurnin Ingrish

Someone started an English pronunciation Youtube channel to teach people how to correctly say certain words. It was then spoofed by a genius.

Adios to Hell Boy: Plastic Surgery Chronicles

In response to the poll question posed by resident muse Merc Mueller, I come to the blog with a confession: I had plastic surgery. On Wednesday, August 31, I had horn reconstructive surgery. The bulbous fatty tumor horn that sprouted from my head circa 2003 was numbed and removed from my glistening forehead. I also had an additional cyst removed from my leg that was a bi-product of a cleating during my days as the IC's lone Division I athlete (wink). I now have the remnants in a jar next to my trophy case.

I attempted to have both leg and head horns removed on several occasions while living in the US, though was always told the procedure was unnecessary, would be considered plastic surgery and would not be covered by an insurance provider. Costa Rican doctors, however, charge only 7 bananas for such an operation.

I am now hornless and powerless, though strikingly more handsome. Hell Boy is dead.

proof

Rick "Job Loss" Ross

North Carolina Pastor Fired for Attending Rick Ross Concert

 26-year-old Pastor Rodney Wills was fired from his position at a North Carolina church after he was spotted at a  Rick Ross concert.

Wills was a pastor at Mt. Salem Baptist Church in North Carolina for almost four years when he was unexpectedly fired.

The deacon board voted 11 to 3 when they met to vote whether Wills should keep his job or not.

Wills was unaware of his firing until he showed up to the church and he noticed his parking sign had been removed from his usual spot.

A representative from the church said he was fired immediately because it was not his first offense. Wills attended a Lil’ Wayne concert 9 months ago that he was reprimanded for.

One of the Deacons, Deacon Miles Langley, released a statement about the firing that reads, “We cannot have our leader supporting people of this world who are tearing down the kingdom of God,” reports the Guardian Express.

http://blackamericaweb.com/154443/north-carolina-pastor-fired-for-attending-rick-ross-concert/

Proof Bitches

Jeter's New Intro Music:

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/derek-jeter-at-bat-songs/n39805/

Rude Barb

This video has been rated "M" for Mazur.

If Kevin Dalrymple were assigned to coach men's professional soccer:

TROUBLE'S COMIN'

The Ugliest Shirts for the Ugliest Game

OPTION A

OPTION B

Happy Fourth

TheFourthJuly from 5 + 8 on Vimeo.

DF

¡Viva La Raza!

Dearest Amigos - If you ever want to visit the tropical paradise land where I live and have lived for four years, get here before Sept. 30. I'm moving to Mexico City in October. Upgrading from the banana trade to drug trade. Send prayers. 

Lubahn's Next Vacation?

Who wouldn't want to take their kids to the hemisphere's poorest disease-ridden country? Such fun! 

Miller: Haitian road-trip 2014?

Anyone but them!

And you really wonder why ppl hate you?

LETS DO THIS! GO SPURS GO!! UNO MAS CHAMPIONSHIP!

Hard to get much weirder than Dennis Rodman and the Harlem Globetrotters in North Korea.


According to North Korea, the Globetrotters were a team "formed by blacks in Chicago in 1926."
Really should skim through this video. So bizarre.

Full game footage available:
http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2013/05/29/north_korean_basketball_game_video_vice_dennis_rodman

Faust's First Employer Richard Perrotti...

Apparently beat the shiat out of a friend and smokes weed by the pound. Also makes a random cameo in a video about himself being arrested. This rocks. 

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/video?clipId=8932480&autoStart=true

i understand that some of you dickheads have reeeeaaaal lives but can we get a move on with our voluntary interactions?

apologies dears

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu2tVv_x_ow&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Who Needs Assault Rifles? 

When this does the shooting for you.

Who on Earth needs this weapon?
http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/05/15/184223110/new-rifle-on-sale?utm_source=NPR&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=20130516

Forever Awesome? 

Yes, the Mavs aren't in the playoffs and the Spurs are. Yes, the Spurs have 4 titles and the Mavs one. Yes, I am a fair-weather and crappy Mavs fan.

But this is cool. Reminded me that the Mavs are the last team to beat the Heat and might be the last team to do so for a while.

And then Cuban blew-up a Championship team.

Spurs-Warriors series was basketball radness. Harrison Barnes is my new favorite player in life and I want his Starting Lineup figurine. 

Unlock them all

Hacksaw Mark Miller

Nickname: A-Mark-Ican Legend 

Hacksaw began his career claiming he was "more American than Wild Turkey" and "a Dickload more patriotic than the movie The Patriot with that Anti-Auschwitz Aussie," and became an instant sensation known for battering opponents with a 2x4 and screaming "Death to the Procreation Narcissist Paradigm!" and "Nipples!" Within weeks of his arrival to the WWIC, Miller burst into a starring role after he savagely beat his opponent and a ringside police officer who attempted to intervene and stop the bloodbath. When done, Hacksaw burped in the faces of both befallen victims and screamed "Fucktards Ish!" much to the delight of his fans. Hacksaw, who held the title belt for almost two years, was forever enshrined into WWIC lore when, at South By SouthFightFest '11, a small Incan undercut him as he scaled a two-story ladder while readying himself to leap onto his opponent. Hacksaw plummeted to the mat, shattering both legs, though managed to still record the pin. He returned to the WWIC only 5 days later with two 2x4s for legs. 

Finishing Move: The DWI - Demolition While Irate 

After splintering his opponents' chances of victory through a series of 2x4 jump-kicks and nuclear lactose burps, Hacksaw retreats to his corner to take either a shot of Bourbon, a bump of coke, or chug an American Appletini. As he does, the crowd begins to chant "DWI! DWI! DWI!" Miller smiles wide, cameras snap photos and Hacksaw lifts his opponent to his feet. He then screams "MUGSHOT!" and smashes his opponent across the face with a 2x4 spiked with bone spurs and sharpened Copenhagen can shards. He then shoots an entire AK-47 magazine round into the ceiling of the arena. 

The Snake

Nickname: Venom in Denim 

One of the most untrusted and detested members of the WWIC, the Snake's career has been long characterized by egregious disloyalty to former tag-team partners and outlandish out-of-the-ring behavior that continues put his name in tabloid headlines. The Snake, who first arrived on the circuit sporting ripped jean shorts and an Aruba t-shirt, catapulted to fame at the 2006 Crowley Rally when he alleged spiked the Undertaker's pre-match Gatorade with what was later ruled to be "Liquid Dirty Irty," a cannabis extract. Bewildered and distracted, the Undertaker was counted out while looking for caramel popcorn among the fans, briefly giving the Snake the WWIC title belt, only to lose it weeks later when his dog allegedly ate it. Outside of the ring, the Snake's bizarre antics and various arrests, including the 2009 episode when he shin-kicked and urinated on a Texas police officer, have given him the undisputed title of the WWIC's bad boy.

Finishing Move: Target Trickery

After wearing foes down with swift kicks and rubbing them raw with his shaved chest, the Snake sports a wide smile and provides his fallen opponents with a lift off the mat. When on their feet, the Snake offers his opponent a friendly "Minnesota hi-five". When opponents attempt to do so, the Snake grabs their hand and coils it around their back. He then bites his opponents in the back of the neck and sucks their blood until they pass out. To date, his bite to Andre the Giant is still considered by many to have killed the Princess Bride star. 

________________________________________

Shawn Kevins

Nickname: Flair Bear 

Known for his thunderous calf drops from the top buckle unto the hearts of mamed foes, Kevins is renowned for his unwillingness to cede defeat, particularly when fighting alongside his hotpanted "I heart"-ner-in-crime Jannetty. After a successful solo stint, Kevins and Jannetty teamed up to form The Rockers pre-Y2K. Together they have cemented a dynasty duo that prides itself on having been together longer than Tim Duncan and Tony Parker, as well as Parker and Eva Longoria. 

Finishing Move: The Bear Claw -- A crushing bear-paw slap across the face of stunned opponents that is said to result in instantaneous hibernation. Kevins patented the move on New Year's Eve 2006, when he blasted El Razor Portillo at the infamous Pay-Too-Much-Per-View Japoneis Melee.   

Gino Jannetty 

Nickname: Jannetty Spaghetti  

Jannetty's intense temper and hyper sensitivity to insult propelled this former member of The Hobbits to individual success when he claimed the intercontinental belt after demolishing Morton's Boy at the '98 Steak-and-Break Summer Slam. Characterized by his headband and legendary "headfake" which dazzles and confounds opponents, Jannetty teamed up with Kevins and revitalized his wayward career after being stranded in the ocean at the '99 SeaDoo-or-Die Fest in San Diego. Since doing so, this combo has terrorized the major circuit with their locks of flowing hair and simply fabulous attire.

Finishing Move: Loan Shark -- After diminishing his opponents resources to destitute levels, he catapults from the top rope and buries his knees into the carotid artery of their neck to knock them unconscious. When executed correctly, opponents are said to have 0% Interest in getting back on their feet.

Oh, weed.

I am going to quit smoking weed / I ran out of weed.

Cool posters, me.

Charlie and Martin Sheen Beat MJ in Hoops?

How cool were the 80s?

I love this dude

And I love the old school SA hat represented by a member of his possy.

This guy is a fucking man.

Obama:

"Alright, will now take the next question from Bloomberg News."

 

"Thanks Mr. President. My friend Brent wants to know how the legalization of "Dirty Irty" has impacted the country and if you think more states, namely Texas, are soon to follow Washington and Colorado's example?"

"Is he the one that used to get high and go to Home Depot at like 11 in the morning?"

"Yes, Mr. President. That's him. I think he still does that."

 

"Tell him to be careful with that stuff. If he goes back to Texas and legislation is passed that allows for the possession of Dirty Irty, he could end up like this":

 

"Or worse even, like this":

 

 

 

"Thank you sir. You can count on me to relay the message."