i see that my lack of contribution to the blog has everyone talking politics. i don't vote, and probably never will except on a rural-municipal level. please suggest anything you fellas believe i may have some worthwhile, or facetious, whichever, opinion relevant or not to a topic. i know y'all are jock itching to read some of my ramblings.

did butz really get the boot?

it'd be cool if we could get, like, a new quote at the bottom every once in a while, even if it's still jack kerouac. chuck palahniuk's up our alley, hemingway was a drunk, etc...

john wayne gacy jr. for president...

WHY FAUST IS MOVING TO LONDON



Faust is pregnant. That's right people, Faust has a baby growing in him. Turns out a skull fuck from Kirt can impregnate a kitchen table. This is what rich people do when their children get pregnant out of wedlock (His dad owns 1,000 luxury hotels). They send them places far far away from everyone they know. God forbid some family friend see pregnant Adam walking around the Galleria shopping for maternity clothes. To spare the family name Faust agreed to move to London for twelve months where he will give birth to his and Kirt's child. The whole Piper artsy fartsy thing is a huge cover up. When Adam returns from London he's gonna tell everyone he was inspired by all the famous people making adoptions to make an adoption of his own. He's gonna name the kid Apricot Sylvester.

The reason the ad for Harold Ford Jr. peaved me was that he is from Memphis and is the poor black south's Barrack O'bama (heard of him Lubahn?). I saw him speak last year and he gives a lot of hope to the Memphis slums, poverty, and other things our little prissies asses will never know about...Also, the white woman asking for his number has created a lot of inter-racial dating tensions. Oh by the way, I humped a girl named KORVETTE.

I'm interracial.

LASTLY, you want f'ed up Ads. Watch THIS ONE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9WB_PXjTBo

Family ties...

ATTACK (F)ADS NEED OUT...

http://guerillawomentn.blogspot.com/2006/10/gop-aims-sleazy-blonde-bimbo-ad-at.html

This is atrocious. How polarized is our ridiculous political culture? What happened to integrity? Attack ads are the most juvenile, pathetic and self-degrading schemes, and yet they continue to spiral downward. Can a politician not garner enough respect from being him/herself that they revert to vomit-worthy tactics that smear their party more than aid their campaign?

Let's get political. Chambers, thoughts?

GUY MOVIES at Their Best…. Can’t Miss Comedies.

The Matador – This movie was overlooked by many when it arrived a few years ago (including myslef). It is an uncomfortable comedy starring the underrated Greg Kinear, and Pierce Bronson at his personal best. It is a guy movie, but still very smart. I hate how Anaconda or Last Action Hero are considered guy movies. I guess they assume most guys are mindless boobs. A



Kiss Kiss Bang Bang – Chambers has been on me to see this one as he was very proud of his discovery. Well, the skinny kid was definitely on to something. From the writer of the Lethal Weapon, KKBB is filled with sharp dialogue and a stellar cast. Robert Downey, Jr. is one of my favorite actors of all time and Val Kilmer plays a wonderful fag. And, Michele Monahan is a striking beauty. A-

Put it on your NetFlix que or head up to your local Blockbuster (while it still exists.)

So tomorrow is day one of my latest gig: A roofer assistant for Spencer Roofs, my uncle's company.

I'm going to get hurt. But at least it's a warm 37 tonight.

Please be my best friends and read the following: http://www.jargonchicago.com/

Have a nice day in your offices gentilemen.

MAZUR, here is the post you've been waiting for: the AW gets canned post. Unfortunately, I wrote a page and a half diatribe that did not publish and was erased. I said some choice words and will now simply highlight the firing process without as much bitter disdain and rage than painted in the first post.

A) Monday, Ocotber 2: A-Chub goes to work and is three of seven members of `team' at work. Chub does reasonable amount of work. Not much, but enough.

B) Tuesday, October 3, 3:42p.m.: A-Chub is called in by boss Nurse Ratched, known for her exposed plump, milky boobs and snarling disposition. Pretty professional. Ratched says they are there to discuss ``serious matter'', A-Chub is concerned that PG-13 emails sent to girl he's been dry-humping have surfaced. Ratched is accompanied by Orphan Annie HR look-a-like.

B) Tuesday, October 3, 3:44p.m.: Chub is deemed ``Terminated'' by Ratched, citing poor work performance on previous day (again, 4 of 7 absent) and tardiness. Chub counters with justification, which, at that time is quelled by HR skank saying ``This is more of a notification, not a discussion Mr. Chub.''

Chub: ``So I can't defend my case. I signed in at 9 because I had a meeting at 8:30''

HRore: ``Again Mr. Chub, this is a notification, not a discussion.''

Mr. Chub laughs disillusioned and looks at Ratched, who will not make eye contact with the Alpha Chub. Chub sarcastically says ``Bye Heidi'' as she exits.

Tuesday, October 3, 3:54p.m.: Whorphan Annie follows Chub to his cube and watches over him as he collects his items. Chub wants to shout out and damn the conformist, dead-souled, aspirationless troglodytes of Initrode, he however, is a conformist as well, and he tucks his Rooster tail between his legs and begrudingly shuffles through the door. As he leaves, Whorphan Annie takes his Initech key card and he gives a Nixon-esque wave as the elevator doors close.

Two weeks later, the Chub has been lowered to claiming Unemployment benefits, picking up a part-time Bar gig, applying at Starbucks (no reply) and interviewing at Bubbles Baby Academy. He's humbled but durable. No calls have been made to Mom or IC friends yet. Be Afraid.

Say mahn, Lemme hold a dolla...

Portillo,

Thanks for the info on the hotels in Vegas. Looks like I will be staying at the Knight's Inn on Thursday night.

And by the way, I just got your message from last night and found out:

1.) You can't go to Vegas
2.) You girlfriend broke up with you
3.) You lost your job

That sucks, Im sorry hear about all three of those. It's also too bad you are completely full of shit. Have you ever heard the story of 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'? If not, I suggest you check it out. Might be good for you.

KevinBear

The Inner Circle

Peep this deleted clip from the new Borat movie...can't wait..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQhfGniF6t0

Jagshemesh!

MY NEW JOB!

Hi friends. I got a new job. Here it is: http://www.theheckler.com/

The Make-It, Take-It story is by yours truly. Feel free to comment on the story so my editor thinks I'm a somebody.

Mitch Albom

Here's the deal; I have 2 rooms for us at the Hilton Chicago downtown for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday Night. The rooms are $189 a piece. If we have four to a room, which we will, it is $47.25 a person (It's $15.75 a night- that's like a pack of Parliaments, an Orangina, and a copy of Jane Eyre.

Well worth it.

I'm in.

Clint is in (he's sleeping with me).

Kev and Clay are in.

I think Mazur and Vaughn are in.

Portillo and Eleah are in.

Who else?

I will be flying from Chicago to London. This is my last hurrah.

Hurrah!

MAVS RAP

I wrote this for a contest on the Ticket. It has some Ticket references, that were requisite, but I'm proud of it. I'm not proud of my first unemployment check being delayed.

WIN & JUICE (MAVS REMIX)
Avery: Awww, yeah Dallas…It’s about that time again…
Cuban: Aww yeah, you know what time it is…
Cuban: You know, how it works… It goes a lil’ sumtin’ like this… I think y’all will recognize this tune (especially Dan, who’s hood)
(Avery) With so much drama in AAC,
It’s kind hard being lil’, Avery
But I, somehow, someway,
Keep comin up with wicked mad D like every single day,
(Dirk) May I, stop up behind the arc for some threes,(Avery: Yeah)
And grab a few boards as I breeze through,
Two in the mornin’ and the party still jumpin cuz Stevie aint home.
(Josh) I got sticky D on my man and I’m getting it on,
givin’ nightmares so he aint sleepin till 6 in the mornin!
(Devin)So what you wanna do ?,
I got a dirty cross-over and my homie Jet do too
So turn on the lights and open the doors,
But for what, the best team on the Floor! (Avery: Yeah)
So we gonna win the league with this,
Mavs Up, Heat down while Bob and Dan Bounce to this…

(Chorus: Repeat twice)
Rolling through league,
riding Dirk and Jet,
Listenin to Bob and Dan,
Laid Back
With our minds on the trophy and the trophy on our minds.

Verse 2
Now that, we got the secret to Win,
Everbody turn the station to Ben & Skin,
Now these two boys are talking all the time,
Tellin us Mavs stuff to keep us in line.
Everything is fine, when you’re listening to K-T-C-K,
They got the cultivating genius of Gay- Not-Gay,
Dan listens, to words Corso speaks,
As he spreads the myth of the baby arm freaks,
And get to crackin on Corso during Gameday (Gameday?),
And watch all the P1s say hey (Wit dem posters?)
80 degrees up in the AAC,
Don’t touch our Western Conference Banners cuz you’ll get none of these,
At ease,
As I listen to Bob & Dan feel the breeze, Grizzibble I’m just…

Chorus: Repeat Twice
Rolling through league,
riding Dirk and Jet,
Listenin to Bob and Dan,
Laid Back
With our minds on the trophy and the trophy on our minds.

Verse 3:
Later on today,
My homie Corby comin on wit a whole lot to say,
And a fat ol’ merkin, one that makes P1s laugh till they choke,
This aint no joke,
It makes you step back and put the radio down,
Merkins, Baby arms and Grego, this is messed up now,
But there aint no stopping,
Cuz the Ticket keeps poppin,
And one Ticketchick hails from the city of Compton,
She’s a Mavs fan, Just like the rest of Big D,
Expecting a ring from the Boys and AverY,
Don’t get upset League that’s just how it goes,
We don’t love dem’ bros’,
We out the do’
And we’ll be...

(Repeat twice)
Rolling through league,
riding Dirk and Jet,
Listenin to Bob and Dan,
Laid Back
With our minds on the trophy and the trophy on our minds

One of the worst offensive games by a quarterback I have ever seen in football history. From little league football to the NFL, I have never seen such a pitiful performance by a QB. Rex Grossman looked flat out horrendous.

Coming into the game Monday night, I was just as confident as I’m sure the whole city of Chicago was. I mean, this was the rebirth of the '85 Bears and we were playing the Arizona Cardinals. No way were we going to lose. This was the new undefeated Bears against the same ol' 1-4 Arizona Cardinals, they were suppose to lose! No one (with the exception of maybe Brian Weiss) thought the Cardinals stood any chance in the world. But in the famous words of Chris Berman, "That is why they play the game."

_____
(I really do not want to write a full article about this game, mainly because I am at work and I am trying not to get fired, plus I am sure most of you saw at least the first half and saw how bad the Bears were and how good Matt Leinhart and the Cardinals were. Therefore I will just sum up my night in the final 6 minutes of the game.)
-------

With 6 minutes left to play and the Bears down 23-10, Rex threw his 4th INT (6th turnover) and I finally said that is enough. I had been blowing up at the TV all night and I had seen enough games to know that the Bears chances of winning at this point looked pretty bleak. I turned off the TV and told Katie it was time to call it a night. Depressed I was. All the expectations and hype about this team going undefeated had completely vanished. Katie kept telling me, "It's only one loss Kevin" but it was a lot more than just a loss, it was the Arizona fucking Cardinals! And what made it worse was that I was going to have to hear Weiss tell everybody how he was right and we should've listened to his wisdom. I got in bed and watched the last 15 minutes of a Seinfeld to try to cheer me up.

After the episode, I said, "We’ll let’s just see what the final was" and flipped to ESPN. The score read "Chi 24 Arz 23".... And then came what seemed like a very long silence ... was I dyslexic? "Chicago 24, Arizona 23" - I kept repeating it in my head, "Chicago 24, Arizona 23". WAIT A MINUTE! CHICAGO 24?!!!! What and the hell happened??? I couldn't believe it. Before I could get too excited I noticed Arizona was driving and were about to set up a final field goal attempt. "They're not going to win, they somehow have comeback, but no point in getting excited over nothing" - I told Katie. But as the final field goal attempt went wide left, and the Bears secured their 6th victory of the season to go to 6-0, I was in complete shock and disbelief. They won, they somehow pulled it out. No offensive touch downs, 6 turnovers, and they won.

Unfuckingbelievable!

I can go on and on and try to describe the way I felt after this, hell I couldn't even sleep. I had to check the internet this morning just to make sure it wasn't a dream.

I must get back to work now, I could go on and on if I wanted to but I think you guys get the point. And Weiss, I told you that was a bad bet.....

BEAR

COLLEGE GAMEGAY...

Check out this pic - inspired by 1310 The Ticket listeners

POR FAVOR!!

A friend of mine is in a band that has made it to the finals of a competition to tour with Papa Roach. It is a huge opp. for his band, which is very, very good by the way. PLEASE, PLEASE go to the following link and do the voting. It takes 3 minutes.

The band is called SOUNDS UNDER RADIO. That's right humans: SOUNDS UNDER RADIO. This will really mean a lot to the most talented dude I know.

GO to the following site http://www.sonicbids.com/voting/default.asp?poll_id=112 and go from there. Three minutes.

The Inner Circle
Ethan Albright, an offensive lineman for the Washington Redskins wrote this article after discovering his "ratings" on Madden 2007. Very funny article that I thought all would enjoy...

http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=3159&SectionID=2&LayoutType=1

-bw

p.s. - take the AZ Cardinals money line.

You ever want to see a stoned professer teach a class? Well, Google Video has the most amazing video.... it's kind of long, but worth it of you have the time... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9085610229984937407&hl=en

I’m moving to London.

Yep, after 2 and a half years of a long distance relationship, I was the one who broke. A few months ago, I applied to grad schools in London. Last week, I was accepted to the London College of Design. I will get to be as gay as I always wanted to be, learning how to design everything from buildings to furniture. School starts January 2007. Also, Piper got a job in London where she will be coordinating communications between museums in London and Dubai. It’s an awesome opportunity for her, and after much deliberation, I have decided it makes a lot of sense. I’m 25. I’m closer to 30 than 20, as is everyone in the Inner Circle (digest that, friends). The program is only a year long. You can get you masters in half the time because of the exchange rate (kidding).

This is when the internet is a wonderful tool- many of you will barely notice I’m gone. Long live the BLOG!

Cheers, Lord Faust (official name change from Le Faust)

Must See Indie Movies

Get to your local art house and check out these gems...

Little Miss Sunshine
The best comedy of the year. It is in wide release now so you don't need to find a hipster theatre to watch this wonderful film.

Critics Consensus: A moving satire about a dysfunctional family obsessed with winning, Little Miss Sunshine captivates and convulses with its perfectly-cast ensemble and delightfully funny script.

A


Jesus Camp
There is a scene where the children are worshiping a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. Yikes!

Critics Consensus: Evangelical indoctrination is given an unflinching, even-handed look in this utterly worthwhile documentary.

A-




Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
A surprisingly sweet film about honesty and beastiality.

Critics Consensus:
An impulsive sexual encounter from her past haunts Amy, an otherwise seemingly normal young woman, but her fiancé has suggested that the couple be completely honest and tell each other everything!

B

Dearest Humans who generate laughter, entertainment and inspire immorality,

When Brian Weiss ``dissed'' my attempt at `Jam o' the week' and suggested a Hip-Hop selection, I gots tos thinkings. Seeing as that my ghetto experience in Tennekee has crunked me up and endeared me to the lyrical echoes of Hip-Hop, I wondered...If we were Rappers, which oh which one would we be...........?


Lubahn: Slim Shady.
Easy right? It gets better. Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was arrested over the summer in Detroit for punching a man in the restroom of a Strip Club.

Insert edit: Brent Lubahn, aka Jack's Baby Momma, was arrested at Fort Worth's NON strip club this summer for repeated Shin Kicks to his `Best Man' AFaustizzle. As for cause, Lubahn blamed an unidentified substance ``Da Irty''. He then clapped his hands together in short, sharp bursts while yelling ``oooooooohhhhh''.


Portillo: Ludacris
This guy is always in need of a shave and hurcut. He also keeps his themes primitive and simple, as evidenced by his album `Chicken and Beer'. Distancing himself from others, Ludtillo has stirred up some political commentary:

Shout out to Bill O'Reilly, I'm'a throw you a curve
You mad cause I'm a thief and got away with words
I'm'a start my own beverage, it'll calm your nerves
Pepsi's the New Generation?—Blow it out cha ass!

Hmm, unitelligble banter, sounds fuhmilyer.


Kevin: Bubba Sparxxxx
After extensive research, I just couldn't imagine Kevin black. It just doesn't fit. Black guys don't like Pink Floyd and Rex Grossman. They don't even know who they are. Bubba is known to enjoy a bottle of beam, a splif of gonja and a female, as in understood in this poetic brilliance:

``But I got to drank, cant even thank, unless I'm tanked, I'm already high ''


Mazur: Lupe Fiasco
This little guy is known from his rapper fashion eclecticities, including white and green shoes and adidas jackets. Known as a devout Muslim/Catholic, Lupe is yet to get a tattoo, however his experiments in Henna indicate his interest. Both are Kanye cronies.


Weiss: Prince
Curly hair, crushed velvet attire and eye-liner. It's a match. Sorry Weiss, as you know I think you're much more like RuPaul, but I can see you yelling `Shoot the Jumper. Shoot it!'' in a game of shirts versus blouses. I can also see you changing your name to a symbol and understanding what it sounds like when doves cry.


Miller: Master P
Did you know Master's P's real name is Percy MILLER. Read: `While Miller was tempted by the lure of the street hustling that was a part of life in inner-city Round Rock, he developed an entrepreneurial streak early on, as well as a passion for sports. Miller used his skills as a baseball player to earn an Imaginary college scholarship to the University of Stanford, where he studied Solitaire''
Wow, uncanny. Also, who else can more accurately be described as ``A No Limit Soldier''.


Clint: MC Hammer
Is it just me, or can you all envision MC Brown with the ``staircase'' or ``claw marks'' shaved into his head? Alongisde the blatant fashion foopahs and massive fortune, Clint is the only one of us who I feel is ``Too Legit to Quit''. And Clint, if you read this, ``Please Hammer, don't hurt me''.


Chambone: Andre 3000
He's sort of the punk of the Rap industry, with his absurd clothing and vibrant style. Now, Bone, yes, you probably received the most complimentary nomination, and besides Stankonia wreaking like you, Andre's aliases are: "Dre" (his original moniker), "Possum Aloysius Jenkins", "Dookie", the reversed "Benjamin André" and "Johnny Vulture". All I can think of are Radcat, Sticks, Skinny kid, Ravealicious, Tabathon, Ecstacyasaurs, and Bone, which are of course, your aliases.


Faust: Lil Wayne or Lil' Weezy
Did you know Lil Weezy, who hails from New Orleans, got his start from his Daddy, Da Birdman, and his latest rhyme is titled `Stuntin' Like My Daddy' from the Album `Like Father, Like Son'. Also, Weezy is not the most humble cat from da Dirty Souf' as is evidenced by his song titled `Best Rapper Alive', with an opening chorus touting "Who am I...the best rapper alive."

In recent Weezy news: He was recently arrested on charges of possession of less than 1 ounce of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance. Police claim the rapper was in possession of several unlabeled bottles — one containing 60 pills of Paxil, that is used to treat anxiety disorders and panic attacks; another containing 59 hydrocodone pills — along with "two small burnt joints of marijuana," the report read.

That's eerie.


Butz: Eazy E
Died of AIDS. Rest in Peace Young Blood.

Some similiarities between the Rapping legend and St. Louy legend:
He was 5'5".
He used to drive a red Suzuki Samurai.

Quotes
"I don't give a fuck what color you are. The color of money is green."
"I use condoms. I don't want to fuck around with AIDS and herpes and all that. But, if I need it, I got a big-ass bottle of tetracycline and another gang of pills."


A-Chub: Ice Cube
Now, you might think I'm proud of this nomination, I however, am not. Despite the similarities in proportion (chubby), Ice Cube was fired from his job in Friday for stealing. Last week, I, A-Chub, was fired from my job for being a lazy azz cracka. This Friday, I'm coming home to Dallas and will undoubtedly cross paths with my friend ``Smoky'' Faust. I can see it now: Friday night, after an unsucessful evening of attempting to charm girls named Tiffany, we will stumble into his apartment, where, after a few cigarettes, he'll pull out his tool box and say ``C'mon man, it's Friday. You aint got no job, and you aint got shit to do!''.

Then I'll kick a giant's ass in the street and drink kool-aid.

PEEEEAZZZ OUT HONKEYS!!

One