Random thoughts from a recent visit to Mexico

• Mexicans can weave anything into a bracelet in 4 minutes

• Who the fuck buys a hammock from a beach vendor…….just what I was looking for…a FUCKING backyard hammock

• You will run into Canadians and they will use the word “ay” at least 9 different ways, pay attention

• Tequila bars are open at most hotels 24 hours/day which led to my immediate thought of Mazur crowning himself king of the tequila stand shouting profanities at every passerbyer

• The drinks are free the entire time at an all-inclusive, they will not run out, slow down or you do black out before supper

• Paloma – A beautifully refreshing tequila drink that is very addictive

• Being at a place where you are in a bathing suit 10 hours/day you realize a few things:
1 -Legitimate fat people just don’t give a fuck about being fat
2 -How can old women not feel that breeze between that 3 inch gap in the bottom of there suit
3 -Big boobs are a gift, a well worn thong is magical

• When vacationing taking local transportation is the only way to go

• DO NOT under any circumstances accept free tequila from the old woman under the bridge

• Ray Mysterio masks can be purchased in 13 sizes and 56 different colors

• Silent farts are still stinky even on a beautiful beach

• For an extra $20 you can play with baby tigers……um YES PLEASE
*Just sign on this line, don’t worry about what the 3 previous pages of documentation, in Spanish. I’m sure you are in good hands and that this activity is insured

• Why does this handcrafted wooden bowl that I just demanded you to throw in with my children’s “vacation gift” not have a filter hole….WTF man!

some other urinal. if nobody posts, its me from urinals all year.

dance moves. grooves. boobs.

Watch "Cut Copy - Hearts on fire (Calvin Harris Remix)" on YouTube

fcuk drake. john legend got game. more musica. pura vida.

True Bloody story?

Miller, if there is any merit to your True Blue Blood sucking, details are required.

takin' a piss at the belmont on karaoke night. chick from trueblood tried to sex me. i said yes. fairytales do happen. m'f'n zombies are real.

ive probably posted it before, but im in west hollywood litrally with a brit who has a girl's daddy's lambo. carpe the diem, no, they didnt see him.

Watch "Yelawolf - Daddy's Lambo" on YouTube

Watch "the Magnetic Fields- All my Little Words" on YouTube

balls sacks.

This is my Friday night. After a 60+ hour work week, a Friday night weekend stayover in Springfield, MO, this is what happens. A few Makers Mark on the rocks at the Doubletree lobby Houlihans and some dinner, then I walk out with a bottle of wine, courtesy of my expense account. I now lay in bed drinking wine out of a paper Wolfgang Puck coffee cup. This, my friends, is what I do.

As a side note, there is a teenage girls sports team (I am guessing volleyball?) roaming/running/yelling up and down the halls of the executive level hotel top floor. I do not know why they are allowed up here or who they could be with, but they will soon get a middle aged, shirtless, tiny man yelling at them from a doorway to shut the fuck up.

Good Ad. Good Product.

www.dollarshaveclub.com

happy monday from sunny california.

Any random 90s jams that still work for you?
This one does it for me

Oooooh!

like or not. im due for some criticism and short on the witticism.

am i indigent
or when does print
wash away like cement
once princely time returned poetry
to history
as iliad and odyssey
i turned earnest faces
with my crackerjack popgun
covet beard and shotgun
seemed funny i caught his fish
and not his fist or two measly sense
temper one's tantrum
but so did he dense
as theory big bing bang
we query trekie recce
sega genesis sagan
hawking prophecy
pictured dorian aubrey
de gray and
if telomere raise
will we save human race
old earth will maintain
inspector deck gadgets
gizmos cartoon rascal rabbit
wu-tang bee tibetan inhabit
collectively karmic focus
choked hold stood fast saluted flag meritorious mast shot
himself bourbon isms
pharmagarchy pawns pilled pumped
the no nose brain bump
peruvian caine hump
third world warred
hurled by margins
formaldehyde preserve profits
cadavers smelt awfully parallel to facin facts
parables portend mycean media spin
disable the pen its dark aged again
wars make make monks men
apes monkied in made music win
big nixon grin peaces of tin men
in spite of self
sans sin
sam's sapiens
spin
sultry stories
again and again
locked cocked woodstocked
unstopped by viet then
flintlock
minie ball
civil as krakatoa
clack billionth rusky stock
ak-47
when
the bells did toll
his pen would tell
that suns rise tomorrow
or in a mile while
they act citizen cope
boast audacious hope
relatively distant
pope came to cuba
brought shotgun bazooka
gum disguised
causes health faired
guerila guevara medicines flaunted
brutality battlin raged machines
let fear kill minds
load magazines
sudden shots
snap crackle kellog
krafts commodity chlorinely clean
hydro oxy gene
from alps bpa bottled
tragically long term study retrospective absentee
we got technology but dumb math psychology
electric circuitry massive capacitance
attacked maxwell's planck
inductive retroact electromagna cum laude
nestle cleaned shout clothes clean
tom gonna bring
shoes to kids feet
who'd hardened already
tax ready african safari
sharp soccer shot heavy
why leave the serengetti
monopolized beached balanced
and happy
slash burned the adobe
cropped police
greeks gassed by unions
clauses from swiss bankin
berner mit teufflehunden
roman mastiff turned rotty
snoop did doggy doggy
legions twenty year tallies
spanish hannibal rallies
osh kosh sausage harley
from third day advent
creasy's fix
turin's cloth
jesus walks
flip flops
and third reich
did kristallnacht
but paul pope's gray lock's
sure shots beastie boy
turned talion ghetto jews
were too few
warrior trippin round fascists
did i put down the crap lid
ashious masses
but now makes catholics cast eyes
guised by colored smoke great white hope
ashes to ashes that prophetic crassless
but back to the lecture at hands
washed clean like ponchatrain or pontius pylats
had no choice
feared not
phalanxed
hemlocked
dawkins designs allegory
crucifixion gory
but stick to sam
some muslim noise
some write choose to choice
wicked choices repeat
no consequences
learned andy rooney
angry rumpled croonies
tried to keep ferris from
hoolie sick skippin skools
eighties trips
windy city dino ferrari
but back to the future curves
veiled conscious herds
mooed occupy
their pasture we're hardly in the clear yosemit
eeeeeee
sam silenced semite then datelined him
spawned pacific colony
geopolitic disastrous nanking tragic
rape outcome disastrous
old philosophical pharisees
old hypocrite heresies
burned at stakes
vivid imagery
turn back the tick clock
or tune into some 'stein
quantum spin
amalgam chomsky delight
words ala chagrin
god equals love
why keep it in
do some atticus finches
instead of crombie n bitches
no room for a coward
harbor the meek
hormuz to sleep
divserisfy genes dont inbreed
mengele boys flew brazilian choice
melt color like crayon
forge souls into zion.

-stay raw, stay real.

Does anyone watch this show?

I found it about a month ago as they replay the last season before starting this year. I love it.

Define "Photobomb"...

Cheese Balls! Who's with me?