Alright, I've been thinking about this one for some time now. Not that I've had any awkward moments of my own lately, but, working weekends in a bar can expose you to a plethora of nauseating and painful interactions between genders.
Last night, for example, a girl was dressed as Hilary Swank from Million Dollar Baby. An unknown guy approached her and pretended to punch her repeatedly in the face. After a slight laugh, she realized this was his best attempt at conversation, however his Ike Turner-esque barrage continued for about 12 jabs. She looked at me (the bouncer) and said, ``Who the fuck is this guy?''.
Hearing her, he responded, ``C'mon, you know all girls like to be hit.''

She yelled ``Ugh, get the fuck away from me!'' as she stormed by. I stood awkwardly as he ``Glascocked'' his way out of it, acting as if he didn't care but deep down felt ashamed to not have anything more creative to induce conversation.

It made me think: What are the all-time most awkward/terrible moments myself or my IC friends have had with a female? I say we all give our top moment and vote on who's is the worst.

Here's mine:

Now please, this is my worst, please do not pass judgement. It actually pains me to admit this...

After a long afternoon at SMU for the Iron Skillet game, I drunk phoned Kristin, my recent ex who dumped me weeks before. After agreeing to see me, I arrived horribly drunk and stammering at her door. There, I confronted her about ``Sucking her new boyfriend's dick'' and, after crying, she called me Andrew, her new boyfriend's name. To compound one of the worst days of my life, I returned to a friend's apt and lied on the floor in tears. Passing out from the booze, I managed to write text messages to Kristin reading ``You look like you've gained weight'' and ``I hope Andrew like fat chicks''.

Yep. That's my worst. Not exactly awkward, but awful, awful, evil. Coming in a close second are:
The time Heather `Header' Zak rejected me, the time a girl accidently hit my erect member in eighth grade science or the time I told a girl I wouldn't ever hit her, but I'd ``shake the shit out of her''.

Bring it boys. Purge your worst. I think Faust made Piper throw-up and Portillo probably gave somebody a Dirty Sanchez along the way.

Also, probably a good week to keep the lady friends off the IC. But you never know, they could enjoy them...

Dubbers