i found and lost love and some lessons were learned,
and in losing that love a wretched solace does turn.

i'd known it would happen, that i'd tear it apart,
it was told early on i'd have to break my own heart.

as fate crossed our paths, whirled desires and wrath,
an inevitable math foretold a love would not last.

too many times did i howl and seek drink, scorn weak as a fink.
too many times did i sink, let leak my wretched freak,
to your willing caress, my witless tongue's cursed test,
you gave me your best but still i'd protest.

all that was right mattered not in my eyes as apishly
i trampled your poor heart down to size,
a size small as mine.

try as i might i often lost sight of how lucky i was
to just be by your side.

i'd let minds' disconnection preclude disaffection,
make angry my head, for surely we'd attach, what never was dead.

i wish i'd the intuition to listen and glisten,
instead i was selfish and densely did thicken.

i pushed you away when it'd been better to pray.
i preyed on your purity and left you in disarray.

and so now these limp words, none read nor heard
revealing no lessons learned, just memories and yearns,
are the solace i take, as i reflect on mistakes,
as my soul aches in this way...

im gonna go vomit now. feel free to ban me from posting.