Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Post that Never Was

 
Disembodied when the One Ring was cut from his hand at the Battle of the Last Alliance in the Second Age, the Dark Lord Sauron became a shadowy echo of his former self. Formless and terrifying
I think Mazur will be happy with this selection.

Ancient beyond reckoning, Treebeard is wise and slow to act.
He's a tree.  We made Williams a tree.

 Gimli is a mighty warrior, quick to draw his broad axes in battle. Not given to subtlety, he wears his passions plainly for all to see. Yet for all his impulsiveness, Gimli is loyal and noble in spirit.
Sounds a little self-centered, right?  He's still a fucking dwarf.
.
A Prince of the Elven Kingdom of Mirkwood, Legolas joined the Fellowship of the Ring as a representative of his people. Legolas possesses the keen eyesight and sharp ears characteristic of his race 
Chambers does not deserves this cool a character.

A descendant of the lost line of the ancient kings of Men, Aragorn is fated to one day claim the empty throne of Gondor. Aragorn is a mighty warrior, wielding his blade with great adeptnes.
He is a good guy, deal with it Marc

Gandalf is the leader of the Fellowship of the Ring and the army of the West.
He's also crazy tall.

During his centuries under the Ring's influence, Gollum came to love and hate the Ring, just as he loved and hated himself. Throughout the story, Gollum is seen communing with his ego, torn between his lust for the Ring and his desire to be free of it.

Frodo’s uncle, who possesses the ring at the beginning of the trilogy. Bilbo is a playful old hobbit, but he is restless and covetous of his ring. His unsettled feelings suggest how great a burden it is to carry the ring and foreshadow the great travails that await Frodo.

One of the most significant events in Tolkien's stories was the meeting of Bilbo and Gollum.

The heir to the steward of Gondor. More than any other member of the fellowship of the ring, Boromir is the victim of desire for the ring. He attacks Frodo to try to take it from him. Later, Boromir attempts to make up for this slip by fighting the oncoming army of Uruk-hai. He is killed in battle, but his bravery allows the other members of the fellowship to survive.

Frodo’s best friend and constant companion. If Frodo’s burden is to carry the ring, Sam’s is to carry Frodo, which he literally does as the two finally struggle up Mount Doom. Sam is Frodo’s loyal friend, as committed as Frodo is to returning the ring and keeping the Shire safe. Considering his proximity to the ring, Sam is remarkably immune to its call. Sam himself carries the ring for a short time, and, if necessary, could probably have completed the mission on his own. When the four hobbits return to the Shire at the end, Sam emerges from Frodo’s shadow. He approaches the woman he’s been dreaming about, and soon they are married. Within little time he is a father of two, with a nice house and garden.

The ring-bearer and protagonist of the trilogy. A young hobbit, Frodo is chosen by the wizard Gandalf to return the ring to Mordor. The ring offers terrible temptation to anyone who comes near it, and though Frodo on occasion succumbs to its power, he generally shows remarkable strength before its siren call. However, when it comes time to drop the ring into Mount Doom, he is unable to simply let the ring go. In this way, he resembles his uncle Bilbo, a former owner of the ring who is forever restless. The ring has a great effect on Frodo, changing him from an ordinary hobbit of exceptional qualities into someone extraordinary. 

Lubahn and I worked on this post years ago. We never finished it b/c Lubahn questioned my photoshop skills/effort and so I quit.  This is 1 of the 11 limited editions poster I will be releasing.


41 comments:

marcspoke said...

rad.

The Bear said...

Dont settle for lackluster work L, stay on the man.

Looking forward to the rest of the series.

Butz said...

I am real excited about this. Also surprised I did not get Frodo.

Adam said...

Are the others post-ready, or just good ideas floating in brainland?

I want to know where to set my expectations.

Also, I just listened to the Daddy's Lamborghini song Miller posted 66 posts ago. It's awful.

Faust said...

They are all "in the can." I can post one every day for the next eleven days.

marcspoke said...

youre awful. bloomberg payin' you to read about basketball down there?

Butz said...

Daddys Lambo is a hot song. Hot like fire.

marcspoke said...

thank you nick. williams is upset because daddy's lambo doesnt traverse well on cobble brick pot-hole roads... third world hack, hiding from the cush life. what a chump.

Butz said...

I see know these are all going to be LOTR. I hate that fucking shit ass movie(s), though I have never seen them all the way through. I do enjoy these photos/posters, however. I may print and bring to the lake in June.

marcspoke said...

yes, wall size. samwise gamjee and bear huh? totally was pullin for bear to be in the ranger class.

BDub_210 said...

I love it. When my hair gets longer my students always remind me that I look like Frodo. I also have hobbit feet.

Adam said...

$10 says I am a fat person poster. If it is LOTR, I will undoubtedly be big slimy Orc.

Also, I think I contributed to this post idea in 2008.

Miller, as for Bloomberg, they pay me to read your posts and report them to White House Sec. Council. They also agreed that Daddy's Lambo is bad. Beat pussy up also very bad, White House reports.

marcspoke said...

im perplexed. bad? really? not, up, up, up, up?

L said...

Williams you could be a great Orc there is no doubt about that....we'll see


Butz, get with it and watch the movies you jackass. They are great!

Adam said...

They are long, but pretty good. If you have 9 hours to give to a trilogy, enjoy.

In the end, the good guys may or may not end up happily ever after. There's your intrigue.

Is 2 poster posts/day a possibility?

marcspoke said...

second that two. and i better be a villain.

marcspoke said...

here is what lord of the rings is not:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/in_the_land_of_blood_and_honey/

The Bear said...

Ya, Im with Butz... I fell asleep the first time I tried to watch the first LOTR (with Portillo maybe at Vega Ct E???) Great photoshop work, however, the characters do not mean much (if anything), other than Frodo and maybe the Wizard.. who's the Wizard?

Can you name the rock n roll band who wrote some of their songs after the LOTR Trilogy books?

marcspoke said...

was it the beatles? mozart? riverdance? im pretty sure all the characters are direct reference to each every blogging blogger on this blog. boogers. can i be kate upton's husband? is she hiring?

Butz said...

I am going with Coheed and Cambria. They do weird shit. I refuse to look this up also. Where is poster #4? I am wet with anticipation.

Adam said...

Was it SteppenWolf? Isn't Magic Carpet Ride about how Frodo freaked out after Lambda Chi initiation night?

I looked Upton, Kate up and saw she was born in 1992. She's hot, but something about 1992 made me want to play peanuckel and take out my dentures.

marcspoke said...

you have dentures? your current gf is 16.

Adam said...

15.

Faust said...

I included descriptions so it has more relevance.

Kate Upton makes my dong dance.

Butz said...

This movie sounds fucking stupid, but I really appreciate the captions for contextual purposes.

I feel like that could be Lee's actual true life look in 2045.

marcspoke said...

when acf typed 'dong' do you think he cringed?

L said...

Fuk all of you...these movies are great!


Kate Upton is fine, but posses nothing extraordinary

Adam said...

Here boobs are extraordinary.

Where's Friday poster? This post is...zzzzz...just post the rest.

marcspoke said...

someone please make lubahn spell properly!! kate upton can spell. and she's a nun as evidenced by that swim cloth she adorns.

Adam said...

This post is going on longer than the movies.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Also, according to Blogger, this is post NUMBER 1,000 Everybody!

We've arrived.

marcspoke said...

it's a workday epic poster series chronologue diatribe. happy birfday chambers!

Butz said...

i am confused as to where the posts have gone?

Adam said...

Lubahn is going to have a third kid before this post is completed.

The "Post That Never Was" is the post that still isn't.

Faust said...

Calm down. I am sorry I missed Friday, but I have included 2 today. They may be my favorite 2- except for Williams.

L said...

Smeagol.....

Butz said...

Yes! I have always wanted to be a crazy tall bearded man. Brent's is amazing.

Butz said...

The Mazur selection blew and is still blowing my mind. The Chambers photoshopping is by far the worst and most hilarious. I am impressed with the quality of all the others, especially the Tree de Williams.

The Bear said...

Sauron reminds me of something, can't figure out what though

marcspoke said...

led zepellin?

nice work f, though id hardly call myself adpept... im a buffoon in a fight :)

The Bear said...

Zeppelin is correct, 2 p's and 1 L though.

Vagina is the other answer

BDub_210 said...

Fire crotch.