Did you ever wonder which Street Fighter 2 character you would be...

Well, when you have nothing to do at work besides 30 minutes shit sessions and 2 hour lunches (ie Williams and Faust) you begin to debate such matters.

Miller=Guile: Well, this one was kind of obvious with the whole military theme. But, many people don't know that it wa a "Sonic Boom" that sent that elderly TCU cop to his knees outside the SAE house.



Portillo=Blanka: I ask honestly, who is most likey of all us to be the product of nuclear mutation? Is it that farfetched to think Portillo was created in a laboratory? No human could live off Tuna Helper, wear a repulsive threadbare robe and still score a chick as hot as Alia...



Weiss=Vega: Vega was always a little left of center. A reclusive euro that you never could quite understand. Nevertheless, when antagonized there is no telling what he is capable of...




Mazur=M.Bison: M.Bison was a dick. You knew when you encountered the final boss you were in for a showdown. If you bring sissy flying kicks to this battle he will crush you with the decades of anger bottled inside of him from a childhood wrought in terror.



Lubahn=Chun Li: No one play a woman better. Chun Li looks sweet, but as we all know she will take you down with a shin kick when you least expect it. Best evidence Lubahn relishes his role as a girl: When Mazur and I were comparing our friends to different breeds of dog and we got to Lubahn, he interrupted us and responded confidently, "I'm a cat."

Faust=Ken: I don't know Ken personally but I imagine his ego is as big as his "hadukin." After researching Ken on Wikipedia I learned that he was the son of a hotel tycoon. And as Mazur can attest to, one night at the Hilton Anatole while we were living it up on champagne and Grey Goose in the LBJ suite, I modestly remarked, "This will all be mine one day."

Chambers=Dhalsim: Who else could play the lanky, malnourished, Hindu better? They are both pacifist with deep aggression beneath the anemic veneer. Plus, C-Bone told me after downing some X at a rave he once mastered the art of levity.



Butz=Sagat: Be honest. Would it not drastically increase Butz's persona if he started sporting an eye patch? Plus, they are both really tall.





Clinton=Ryu: The most storied of the SF2 fighters. Every fighter wanted to be him, and every girl wanted to be with him. Ryu learned to battle from Tsao Budists on the tops of Mount Kilimanjaro as Cint learned to fight from Wesley Snipes in the Blade Trilogy.



Kevin=Zangief: Zangief learned to fight from wrestling Polar Bears in Siberia (Wikipedia). Kevin is a bear. Zangief actually transfered to Churchill his senior year and played the SAM linebacker on Kevin's side. The "Kodiak Express" was born.



Williams=E.Honda: No one else is as physically imposing as this caraciture. He once ripped Ken out of a Taxi and belly flopped him into submission. The ways of the Sumo are often misunderstood, but together they will teach the world to respect the fine art of popcorn-over-indulgence and Denny's French-toast-inhlation-euphoria.



Fight!

Occasionally you meet porn stars... letting the days go by... letting the water hold me down... water flowing under ground... then another song comes on. fucking ipods... and david damn byrne.

marcspeak

The Inner Circle

I am actually pooping right now. As a father the only real time I have to myself is when I am shitting. It's nice to have these 14 minutes to myself each and everyday. I will update everyone on the in and outs of diaper bags this weekend.

Ouch...that one came out wrong

Donnie Darko

Alright, so I didn’t see a new movie. But I did watch an old one some have seen and some have not. Donnie Darko is the kind of movie if you say you haven’t seen it, many people will say, “What!? You have to see it! I can’t believe you haven’t seen it!” I hate when people do that. And they only do it about movies in that art/indie/satire genre. Movies that will garner such responses include but are not limited to; Memento, Reservoir Dogs, Clerks, Requiem for a Dream, The Royal Tenebaums (and really any Wes Anderson movie), and many many more. Now, I like some of those movies, but what I don’t like is feeling forced to like them, especially by some pseudo-hip cult that insists that these are the greatest movies ever. I have been known to lie and say I hate films that I sincerely like in the face of such phony filmophiles. I digress.

Darko is great example of this genre. It is, at its core, an entertaining flick. It is funny, creepy, and engaging. It also left me wanting to study time travel. Whenever I finish a movie and start researching it on the iternet I know it did something right. I liked Gyllenhall’s performance as one of the creepiest fictional high school kids since Carey. Drew Barrymore (the movie's exeutive producer) gives a mediocre performance as the idealistic English teacher. Noah Wylie (ER) gives a much stronger perfomance as her boyfriend and fellow "greater good" fighting science teacher. Why isn't he in more films? Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing) spreads his acting wings and delivers strongly as a sleazy motivational speaker. Who knew Swayze could be funny?

However, something about the film’s dramatic climax left me unsatisfied. I was confused. After watching the DVD’ extras I learned there were some crucial scenes deleted. Scenes that would have helped me understand a lot more about Donnie. That is inexcusable. The movie needed to either drop some themes or make the movie about an hour longer. Ultimately, I would still absolutely recommend the film because it’s better than 90% of the other crap out there.

I give it 4 out of 5 chief heads:

Click this link:

www.sportsfeed.com

Everyone make their picks. I want a full report of how everyone did Tuesday morning.

Well as I sit here reflecting on my days at sea, I have come to the following conclusions:

1. the word fuck takes on every meaning possible...no longer used as I am going to fuck you or shut the fuck up...it is now used as a type of adverb as in fuckity fuck fuck fuck those motha fuckers...yes that's a sentence

2. you stand out if not rocking forearm tatoos and a mullet

3. malaysians are cheap labor and love to shit in showers...yes someone dropped some kids off not at the pool but in the shower...i have to go to the doctor now b/c apparently you are supposed to wear sandals when community showers are involved

4. the only women i see are rather butch, have more facial hair than i'll ever dream of having, and i was thoroughly intimidated by them as they kept referring to me as a fresh piece of meat and salavating...i was scared and yearned for my mommy

5. did i mention the use of the word fuck

6. never have i anticipated watching an action flick involving a lead actor who goes by the name dwayne "the rock" johnson (eyebrow raise here)

7. i now drink heavily...a few weeks without women and booz will drive a man insane...well they did have cinemax at night...it's a lovely station...10 seconds of soft core porn goes a long way...i shouldn't be writing this

8. i have been consumed by this whole myspace conspiracy...without it there would be a void in my life and wouldn't know how to spend 4 hours of my day...i live an exciting life

9. holidays no longer mean hanging out with friends...they involve you, a bunch of dirty old men who smoke, dip, and drink at the same time while telling you stories about their old lady and how they are going to the next motorcycle convention/rally, butch women who now refer to you as susan, and the ocean

I hate to follow up Bear’s blog with a blog of my own. Its like hooking up with Vacek’s sister after she already went for a ride with Mazur. You want to brag about it, but in the end nobody really wants to hear what you have to say. All you can do is watch your friends high five Mazur and wish you were first. (I won’t name names but you know who you are)

So my assignment is to report on stupid behavior, primarily by yours truly. Yes, I did go to a bull riding school, and yes I am glad I did. However, the permanently blue right butt cheek will never let me live it down, nor will the look of utter disbelief and glances of disapproval when people ask me about it.

So why would I try it? Was it the lack of satisfaction and pure boredom I get from going to work everyday? Possibly…Was it to prove to myself that I could beat one of my biggest fears? Maybe….Was it for the adrenaline rush? Not likely…I guess I just wanted to say that I had done it once and cross it off my list.

I should have seen the utter stupidity in riding bulls a long time ago, however, there is no excuse for not taking a cue from the owner who tried to stand up to introduce himself, but couldn’t do so without the help of his permanent cane. When he asked me if I wanted a helmet and I actually debated the matter, I knew the stupid voice would be hounding me all weekend.

I had hoped to warm up on a junior steer, cow, or even an angry mutton. Unfortunately, they gave me Red Bronc, the actual bull from 8 seconds who had never been ridden. I had flashes of a hardened bone or horn entering my stomach, much like Williams worried over a hardened bone entering him when sleeping at the McCaro house.

The first bull, Red Bronc, tossed me in about 3 seconds (which is a generous estimate). It did create a feeling of euphoria and a sense that I could accomplish anything. No lie, I really felt like no task was too hard or challenging. I loved it for that. However, it quickly faded when it was my turn to ride again.

My mind kept telling me to walk away. You really have nothing left to accomplish. You have ridden a big f*cking bull, why would you want to do it again? Even my heart was starting to listen. I had made up my mind to tell the pro riders I was through…until my name was shouted to ride again. Instead of having the courage to walk away, I pussied out on pussying out. Quite extraordinary, really.

The second, and soon to be last bull, must have recently seen his children, wife, and mistress slaughtered before his eyes. When I stepped on him in the chute, he went apeshit. Thundering pain rolled through my ankles and legs as he slammed me against both sides of the gate. I wanted to cry out in pain, but the instructors kept telling me to be calm and “cowboy up.” Well you know what, fuck you! Open up the chutes.

The bull burst out and immediately started spinning. I did my best impression of superman but couldn’t help but land right on my ass. Once again, thundering pain shot through my body. Luckily, I became distracted by the 1,500 pound bull charging at me. Just when I finished watching my life flash before my eyes, a bullfighter ran in between the bull and myself and slapped him across the face. He veered off about three feet from my torso. (I subsequently gave the fighter a hand job to show appreciation)

A pro rider came to critique me. His words were, “Great ride! Awesome job…but you have to get mad, get angry. This is what it is all about. This is what life is about.” I momentarily thought on his point and realized I am a stock analyst. This might not be what life is about for me.

Two riders later, a bull gored a guy in the face and he had to be airlifted to Tyler. Needless to say, I turned in my equipment shortly thereafter.

What is this... how do you say... blog?

I finally figured it out. Sorry I'm so retarded.

Let's change that name! -L

Ok, Williams,... I am not sure if you want me to make a comment or start a new blog under the link "Blog This!". But here our my thoughts on Week 1 of the National Football League.

I have to start first with,.. DA Bears (sorry Faust, not trying to talk shit). But what a Superbowl style performance from NOT ONLY the Bears mighty defense, but from future Hall of Famer Rex Grossman. His time has finally arrived and he has earned a starting position on my fantasy football team. And holy shit, it is soooo nice to finally see we have conquered Brett Farve!

Speaking of fantasy, what a joke my team was over the weekend. Jake the Snake Plummer with -4 points and Pussy face Delhomme not much better. If anyone wants to recommend which chump to bench in Week 2, I am open to suggestions because Grossman is GOING IN! Joey Galloway got me a fat 0 as the Bucs and Chris "I tatoo my best friend's intials on my ankle" Simms were absolutley worthless over the weekend. The only players who produced any kind of points for me yesterday were The Bears D and 9/11 activist Muhsin Muhammad. Luckily though, I have L.T. on my team and hopefully he can pull out 25 points tonight, which he will. Props to the Frogs btw.

Yesterday I drank at a sports bar from 11:30 - 6 and never got drunk.

Alright, so I make these picks and I recommend you all do the same at www.sportsfeed.com every week. In Week 2 of 2002 I actually won and received a check for $1,000 bucks. So YES, it is possible to WIN and it's FREE. And NO, I did not spend it ALL on pot.

I was completely dumbfounded by some of the results yesterday. Carolina only 6 points at home in their loss to Atlanta, Seattle 3 FGs to beat the Lions, TB shut out at home, the Cowboys choking a 10 point lead to the Jags, Broncos losing to the Rams, and Pennington and the Jets are back?!?!..... This just shows how much parody in the NFL these days can change teams so drastically from year to year! I mean, who ISN'T a Sexy Super Bowl pick? Any team that didn't make the playoffs last year can easily go all the way this year! Well yesterday definitley proved that and I would not be surprised if a team like Arizona makes a run at it! But you still gotta love it, and live for every Sunday, and Monday, and sometimes Thursday, and even Saturdays in December.

This post took 20 valuable minutes of my work time, and it was mainly to get Adam Fedderer off my shit.

Peace out and who the hell is C-Bone???

GO FROGS - Longest winning streak in the nation bitches!

Is this right? This page frightens and confuses me.

he's the hub, so we're the spokes??? not terribly witty but sufficient...

TWIB: THIS WEEK IN BLOG
MUST READ...

SORRY... To Post, go to Blogger.com, sign in and hit the New Post icon, which is a green cross. Then you should be able to post...

Alright, so to instigate activity on the Blog, I propose a weekly editorial calendar. It might not work, but it could be fun.

Since we work five days, I was thinking it would be like a publish for next day reading, like a post Monday for Tuesday reading format. So here's the first attempt:

Monday for Tuesday: Kevin posts Week One NFL football thoughts
Williams posts here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/highschool/cs-060909oakpark,0,5266026.story?coll=cs-highschool-headlines
I'm lame

Tuesday for Wednesday:
- Lee posts on the US-Iranian burgeoning conflict, the reprecussions of 9-11 five-years later, Russia's intervention into resolving middle east crisis or why Eva Angelina is on top of the porn world. Or on bottom.
- Clint reads the following article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/10/world/americas/10coleo.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
And then recaps his bull-riding experience, which is a story all should hear

Wednesday for Thursday:
- Chambers posts on his return to land and gives insightful details on how he spent his days at sea
- Butz posts gambling tips for novice and intermediates that we can integrate into a next table sitting

Thursday for Friday:
- Faust gives a preview to weekend movie releases, ridiculing actors and premise, while giving an ``Adam's Apple of the week'' to the movie he thinks we should all try, or be careful of because there could be a worm in the middle...that is gay...
- Mazur posts on the absurd DFW story of the week. Having sifted through various publications during the week, Michael will highlight the top three ``Are you fucking kidding me?'' stories of the week. Examples include Rottweiler fighting rings in Arlington and bulletholes through apartment floors in Grand Prairie.

I think this would be sweet if we can handle this. I understand you all are busy, but daily posting could provide a pleasant respite from the montonies of 40-65 hour work weeks.

Poops and Pisses,

A-Dubbles

Michael, NO ME COMPRENDISTE...

That means Mr. Mazur, I think you missed mi punta. My point.

In my long-winded diatribe, I attempted to explain my fascination with a quasi-``corporate'' environment. It was not a whining session and I find the job more humorous than burdensome. It's mindless and pays the bills. I think that satisfies most.

In the first few days, I've been flabbergasted to learn people do jobs they do not enjoy. I'd heard of this, however, had never experienced it firsthand. So, for me, these days were mesmorizing. That's why I posted. More in disbelief than complaint.

Secondly, don't taint the Blog with ``crisis pool'' and ``whine like a child'' lines. That could turn the Blog an ugly place, which sucks for all.

Thirdly, to POST A BLOG, Go to BLOGGER.com, login with your username, which should redirect you to a title page. There, hit New Post, or some little wheel-like icon, which brings you to a new post page.

Finally, ambien is a sleep-aid. Do some research.

Adam ``has volatile relationship with Mazur'' Williams

REAL RECOGNIZE REAL...

That's what my crunktafarian Memphis kids used to say in reference to ``Real talk'' or flat-out honesty.

That's what I give you now, young white-collar pursuers of ``your dreams''. This is real talk. Cuz real recognize real...Ya hurd meah...?!

Here's real: My new job is Initech. Straight up. The similarities are eerie. For example, today was ``End of Summer Snack Day'' where some co-workers brought in snacks. However, because we all hide in ``morose boxes'' or cubes, there was no social interaction when we emerged from our menial tasks to eat unwanted cookie resin and sop up the goo from depreciating kiwis.

So Initech, huh? Let's compare:

1. Cube farm where you're walled in to quell potential interaction or ``talking'': Check
It's like a library. And there's sad people on the shelves. That's Nonfiction.
2. Managers that start sentences with ``I'm gonna need you to...'': Check
You know today I was handed a stack of data entry shiat and actually said ``Thanks''. Thanks for what? Tearing off a little piece of my soul?
3. Clock Watching: Check
This is my first job where I check the clock repeatedly throughout the day and actually know my remaining time amount to the minute.
4. Mass airplane-like exodus at 4:58p.m.: Check
It's only lacking the ``Bing'', seat belt sign and attendant wishing you well.
5. People saying ``Well, it's a job'': Check
Three times today. ``It pays the bills.'' So does welfare, whore. So does welfare.
6. Downtrodden, lifeless souls: Double check
I knew something was up when during my HR tour, I asked, ``Is it always this quiet here?'' Then when I met my cube neighbors, I received the ``wet noodle handshake'' or the ``Burns'' or the ``comic book reader''. You know what a bad sign that is? People too discouraged or disheartened to give a reasonable squeeze. Oh no, I thought. Oh mother fucking skank pig nipple, no.

Returning from lunch the first day, part of me expected people to yell ``surprise'' when I got back in. Like it was some sick joke and I wouldn't really be doing 11-year old mindless labor. Looks like the jokes on me.

I HAVE however, realized two truly valuable lessons:
A) People will lie to you to get you to work for them.
I sure haven't done any editing or writing.
B) Lives are wasted doing things they hate.
Not one person at my job likes their job. It's impossible. College grads sitting around silently doing mindless work all day. There's no challenge. YET, people actually do this shit. For a living. Why not? Pay is pretty good. Hours aren't bad. You cut 15 minutes off your lunch, you get half-day Fridays. Yippppppeeee!!

Thom Yorke sang ``Ambition makes you look pretty ugly'' It appears Thom, so does lack of ambition.

I guess this is new to me because I've liked every job I had. Sure they didn't pay well and one didn't offer benefits, but I liked what I did.

I've learned this week that the biggest challenge doesn't come from jobs you like. You ask me to cover a Mavs game, have three quotes and a page story in 25 minutes. Sure. Want me to get 33 black kids to listen, put their cell phones away and learn Spanish. You got it. You want me to punch meaningless data into a computer for a meaningless cause. Shit. I don't think I can. My mind won't let me.

But hey, tomorrow is Jeans day. I bet my morale will be soaring. Until I walk in.

I'm still waiting for someone to say ``Fuckin' A''.

Milton

I was making fun of Lubahn today for being an e-business major and then I got to thinking about everyone…. And how our majors relate to our current professions. People love to say your major does not matter (including myself), but I want to find out. So I’m sending out a success-rate report card after roughly 3 years since graduation. The grades are based solely on how much your degree has helped you up until this point in your life….

Business– Mazur, Brown, Williams, Lubahn

Brown and Mazur’s finance degree are serving them well as they intend to make the masses serve them well. They knew what they wanted and nabbed the degree that would take them there. Most finance majors know their degree is a secure and sound investment. But, they still studied finance during the years they should have been protesting wars and streaking…. B-

Lubahn’s e-business degree was the hot thing to do study right before the millennium. You could start a website, name it http://www.dirtydiapers.com/, but sell porcelain penguin figurines, and still make millions. Sadly the idiots of the DOT COM debacle left current e-business majors salivating over a cash cow that had starved just a few years too early. C

Can’t go wrong with a marketing degree…and a Spanish degree to boot! Unless of course you have a quarter life crisis and renounce the world of commerce and tacky grey suits for a life with a purpose. Idiot. Writing and teaching can heal the world, but your degree isn’t going to help you do it. C-

Engineering – Portillo, Chambers

These guys probably spent more hours in the library than any other major. If you get through it there is usually a sizable pot of gold at the end. So far so good for the geeks… A-

Communications- Faust, Dalrymple

I’m in television. So, I guess that’s something. But, c’mon, Radio TV Film? What a crock of shit. How that is even a major should shock you. You sit around and watch old movies and then discuss how they’ve shaped our world… yeah that’ll help you acquire marketable skills. But, I did enjoy almost all of my classes, so that counts for something. D+

KDal is doing commercial real estate, so, as an ex-RTVF major he is considered a complete an utter sell out. We pride ourselves on being better than anyone in an industry where you can actually make some money. F

You may raise your grade only through financial success and/or inner harmony... Good Luck next year and have a great summer!

So, I had a pretty fantastic Labor Day weekend. Riding through Texas in my Jalopy Jeep with Miller as my copilot….that kid is “down for whatever.” Miller really sucked me into his laissez-faire style of just letting the days and nights take you where they may. We were unshaven, unshowered and unconcerned for three days. Observations from this weekend were as follows:

Waco without Baylor = Lebanon

When you meet a woman who is obviously trying to mask her age with make-up and fake tits do not immediately refer to her as “ma’am”

Jon Edmondson is a liberal. Seriously.

When making a call from my Jeep the person on the other line will undoubtedly ask, “Are you
in a convertible?”

Clay McNutt will never dismiss me again.

A waiter gave Miller free dessert and simply whispered, “Semper Fi.” That was cool.

Chris McIntosh is a real solid dude.

Most bizarre, yet effective pickup line, “You are an alien.”

The Federer story has immortalized Williams in the city of Dallas.

Love is about sacrifices. Kevin Bear now sports an Astro’s hat.

Miller and his dad have reconciled completely.

Love.

Also....

Design team, meaning Faust. Let's make this thing pretty. Like your mom.

I'm 11.

Amigos, good to see this thing coming together. Real nice. I'm excited to see what splatters the board. Bear's first was genius, as was Faust's K is for Kathy.

I'm tempted to say ``That's what I'm talking about'', but I detest when people say that. You ever been to a ballgame, somebody hits a homerun and some schmuck yells ``That's what I'm talking about!''?. No you weren't. You never mentioned that. You never previously referred to the likelihood of Alex Cintron's homerun. If you had, then yes, it would have been ``what you were talking about.''

I digress.

First up: Let's name this bad boy. The Adub Hub, although pleasing to the ego of yours truly, doesn't really epitomize us a group. So let's hear suggestions. Once we've selected, I'll make the new page, send of all you invitations again, and we'll start anew. Peachy.

So let's just through them up. Just post with a name idea. For example, Frogblog, which is a little corny. Or how about, Mensa FC, or like Lee's brilliance, the Ideotechnicals. It needs to be something that bonds us all, which would be TCU. But do we want a Frog title? Like the Horned Blogs? I don't know. Sounds a little queer.

What you got gentilemen?

Alright, I would like some feedback from my squad on this post, although it may require login registration.

I have an idea, so please, hear me out. Even you Lee.

Some of us have the luxury of maintaining communication through the glory of Fantasy Sports, yet it is not a linked, ubiquitous ring of friendship. Some of us are not interested in the part-time gig that is Fantasy games. Respectably so.

So I propose this: This. Yes, that is right. A blog.

To explain, I've seen and worked with people who maintain communication with their most intricate group of friends through a Blog. Just go to the site and read the latest publication from a dear friend. It bridges distancing friendships and keeps you in touch with your best crew.

My thoughts are to have free range of posts, be it about their job, a funny story, a hook up, masturbation, meerkats or women named Korvette. At the same time, I think it would be a little more interesting to encourage each contributor with a topic to post upon every once in a while. Like their beat.

For example, Lee posts a poltical commentary once a week. Kevin posts about football or the pangs of Houston humidity. Faust posts his movie review of Little Miss Sunshine. Clint posts about an emerging corporation. Chambers posts on sports or a rave. Weiss posts on a recent Italian-Zambian rapper he's discovered. Mazur posts on new styles of white tennis shoes. Lubahn posts on the rigors of diaper changing and three hours of sleep. I post about saying the wrong thing to a female.

I think you understand. Personally, there's no one I like to read about more than my friends.

Lastly, as I've applied for jobs recently, I've provided writing samples to each company I've visited. All have been interested in my writing capabilities to some degree and are impressed with handing them clips, of any type.
My point is that you are going to write until you die. All of you. Almost daily.

All right I'm trying to sell. Whatever. I think it'd be cool to have a communication hub for all my friends. I hope you do too.

Hope to read from you.

Love,

A-Chub