Did you ever wonder which Street Fighter 2 character you would be...

Well, when you have nothing to do at work besides 30 minutes shit sessions and 2 hour lunches (ie Williams and Faust) you begin to debate such matters.

Miller=Guile: Well, this one was kind of obvious with the whole military theme. But, many people don't know that it wa a "Sonic Boom" that sent that elderly TCU cop to his knees outside the SAE house.



Portillo=Blanka: I ask honestly, who is most likey of all us to be the product of nuclear mutation? Is it that farfetched to think Portillo was created in a laboratory? No human could live off Tuna Helper, wear a repulsive threadbare robe and still score a chick as hot as Alia...



Weiss=Vega: Vega was always a little left of center. A reclusive euro that you never could quite understand. Nevertheless, when antagonized there is no telling what he is capable of...




Mazur=M.Bison: M.Bison was a dick. You knew when you encountered the final boss you were in for a showdown. If you bring sissy flying kicks to this battle he will crush you with the decades of anger bottled inside of him from a childhood wrought in terror.



Lubahn=Chun Li: No one play a woman better. Chun Li looks sweet, but as we all know she will take you down with a shin kick when you least expect it. Best evidence Lubahn relishes his role as a girl: When Mazur and I were comparing our friends to different breeds of dog and we got to Lubahn, he interrupted us and responded confidently, "I'm a cat."

Faust=Ken: I don't know Ken personally but I imagine his ego is as big as his "hadukin." After researching Ken on Wikipedia I learned that he was the son of a hotel tycoon. And as Mazur can attest to, one night at the Hilton Anatole while we were living it up on champagne and Grey Goose in the LBJ suite, I modestly remarked, "This will all be mine one day."

Chambers=Dhalsim: Who else could play the lanky, malnourished, Hindu better? They are both pacifist with deep aggression beneath the anemic veneer. Plus, C-Bone told me after downing some X at a rave he once mastered the art of levity.



Butz=Sagat: Be honest. Would it not drastically increase Butz's persona if he started sporting an eye patch? Plus, they are both really tall.





Clinton=Ryu: The most storied of the SF2 fighters. Every fighter wanted to be him, and every girl wanted to be with him. Ryu learned to battle from Tsao Budists on the tops of Mount Kilimanjaro as Cint learned to fight from Wesley Snipes in the Blade Trilogy.



Kevin=Zangief: Zangief learned to fight from wrestling Polar Bears in Siberia (Wikipedia). Kevin is a bear. Zangief actually transfered to Churchill his senior year and played the SAM linebacker on Kevin's side. The "Kodiak Express" was born.



Williams=E.Honda: No one else is as physically imposing as this caraciture. He once ripped Ken out of a Taxi and belly flopped him into submission. The ways of the Sumo are often misunderstood, but together they will teach the world to respect the fine art of popcorn-over-indulgence and Denny's French-toast-inhlation-euphoria.



Fight!