Wow, it is good to be back and I am humbled by the votes of confidence you have all bestowed upon me. I have been fretting over this first post since yesterday, as I feel a great deal of pressure to come hard out of the gate. After a fifth of whiskey and a sleepless night, I made the decision to let the game come to me, so to speak. I am not going to force this first post, but instead play within the offense and look for my shot (at which point Bear will foul the fuck out of me). So, this is it. My first post. I feel.........at peace.

Butz

King Lames

Did anyone else truly enjoy watching "King" Lames shoot 3/14 in a 32-point Game 5 loss at home? Me too.

I think "King" Lames is the most over-hyped athlete in sports. He wasn't even close to hitting his shots Tuesday. They were off-the-side-of-the-rim bricks. It was ugly. Lubahn-esque, if I dare. And I do.

I don't know what commercials look like these days in the Untied (intentional) States, but I assume LeBrenda is everyone: Vitamin water, Powerbars, Tonka Trucks, Noxema. Why? In his career, he has had one important game in the playoffs, when he scored like 27 points in a row against the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals 2007. He was then swept in the finals.

That's a pretty weak resume for a King.

Oh, and as for his 32-point drubbing at home on Tuesday, I indeed was "A Witness".

I hung out with Nick Butz this weekend.... Butz is great... blah blah blah.

Anyway, he wants in. He thinks he can bring something special to the blog. I can't argue with him. So, there is a poll to your right. Please vote him in or out.  It take 100% of the voters to allow him in.  His major concern was Chambers vote.  Please only vote once.

Have you seen this man?

Name: Lee Portillo
DOB: 6/20/1968
Last Seen: Windows down on the Santa Ana freeway in a 1984 Acura

Good News in SA

*

From today's NYTimes: (I am transcribing this as well...I don't like links, but we can't paste text?? Poop on thee, Blogger)

*

In early December, Julián Castro, the newly elected mayor of San Antonio, visited the White House to attend President Obama's national jobs-and-economic-growth forum. Castro was one of only five mayors in attendance and, at age 35, the youngest. When his turn came to speak - the subject was the creation of green jobs - the president looked at him, midway down the long conference table, and said: "I though he was on our staff. I thought he was an intern. This guys's a mayor?" The other participants - world-famous economists, environmentalists and politicians - burst into laughter.

"Of San Antonio, Texas," Castro said evenly.

Obama grinned. "I'm messing with you," he said. "I know who you are."

(The rest of the article goes on the french kiss your new mayor's culo. It's a little too complimentary if you ask me, but, seems like SA's got a pretty solid hombre in the mayor's office)

Yeah for Politics!

Enjoy a Cold One Fellas

being the subversive prickface that i am, i'll instigate the religion and politics conversation. blogs are forums of sorts. how many people really pay attention to us anyway? having imposed some of the "sword" side of the american religio/politico no-separation-of-church-and-state-bane-of-my-existence-bullshit on a culture resembling marx brothers' films, i feel suited to discuss these topics. i'll talk sex too, and even belches. i think it's good to get things out among friends, what are friends for... by no means am i trying to get a conversation going about war, muslims, or anything like that, just figured we like south park, and generally have a disdain for o'reilly.

we'll see where it goes? o'reilly is prophetic in this country, which is scary.

"they're courageous"-o'reilly(fundamentalist/extremist muslims)... and distorted-me.

Hey Gents. I'm at the local gin joint watching my Spurs and the fiery francophile Tony Parker and I wanted to share this gem with you all. This is Ginger shakin' her tush with her sistas...see?!

Happy Birthday Buddy....I am sorry that I missed the party but I saw the pics!

The NBA

It's pretty tough to come by "Basquet" games here so, with the start of the playoffs, I've found my way to Chubbs American bar about 3 times in the last 8 days to watch all the hoops I can possibly digest. Also, the waitresses are attractive reformed prostitutes (just worth mentioning).

Here are my observations of the NBA as I understand it after watching about 10 games. Feel free to weigh in with some of your own.

* I am better at basketball than Jermaine O'Neal. Dude is a corpse.

* LeBron is the only person to know how to refer to himself in the 4th person.

* Josh Smith is the only player in NBA history to jam his neck on the JumboTron (which was supplied by Brady Haaaasss).

* The Thunder are fun. They're not good. But they're fun.

* Derrick Rose may not have really graduated high school, but damnit, if he had someone to pass to that wasn't a sub-par veteran (Luol Deng is not good Lubahn) then maybe Chicago wouldn't be an 8-seed that really "challenged" the 1-seed every year.

* It appears the mandatory route to true NBA success is to create a team with at least 3 current or past all-stars. If you do not meet this requisite, you are not a real contender.

Boston: Pierce, Garnett, Allen, Wallace, Rondo and even Moses Finley

Cleveland: Shaq, Jamison, LeBrenda

Lakers: Do I really need to list them?

Mavs: See above

SA: Big 3 + Jefferson

Magic: Carter, Lewis, Dwight

Phx (contender?): Nads, Amare, Richardson

(I don't consider Utah or Denver contenders. That may not be fair)

* Chris Anderson's Dad is Puck from the Real World

As for the main series we all care about:

* Tony Parker is great. Blessed be the franchise that discovered him.

* Dirk Nowitzki is fantastic. Blessed be the franch...yeah, yeah, you get it.

* It is fun to watch two teams beat the shit out of each other

* Eddie Najera learned a lot from the Thuggets. Maybe too much.

* Annual playoff complaining about referees makes me nauseas (spelling nauseas is awkward)

just copy and paste, and go easy on the women.

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/world/sex-wonder-pill-priligy-released-for-sale-in-the-uk/story-e6frfkui-1225858350109

These guys go hard...

The blog has been active, but a little generic. And it made me realize I don't really know what every one is up to. I figured I would jot down the pathetic facts I actually do know.

• Bear- Beating me in tennis, building something at his house he is being really mysterious about.
• Weiss- Getting his email hacked and sending me quasi aggressive text messages.
• Chambers- Has a baby and a stressful job. Wants to hang out but I have been a flake.
• Mazur- Left his good job for a better job. Good job is still paying him.  Having a girl.
• Williams- In excellent relationship with native girl.  Wrote a book. Still poor. 
• Lubahn- Moved to Apple Valley, Minnesota.  Jack is overjoyed about having a basement.
• Miller- Working hard at TCU. Watches a lot of internet videos. Has a sweet beard.
• Portillo- I will be seeing him this summer. Thank God b/c I have no idea what he's been up to.
• Brown- In Austin. I think.

I am doing well. Working a good amount. I like my big black dog.  Piper and I ride bikes to bars and ride back drunk.  That's pretty fun.

I look forward to seeing all of you again.

OK, I know the video thing is getting out of hand, but I couldn't help myself.



I got Piper one.

The snl parody is pretty awesome....
http://www.hulu.com/watch/143264/saturday-night-live-shake-weight-dvd

the weather in hungary:

best pissing contests are won at ivy league schools, like the university of martinique.

Odds to win the 2011 BCS National Championship Game

Alabama - 9/2
Ohio St - 5/1
Florida - 10/1
Boise St - 10/1
USC - 10/1
TCU - 15/1
Texas - 15/1
Virgina Tech - 15/1
Nebraska - 15/1
Oklahoma - 25/1
LSU - 25/1

Ever think you would see the day to have the same odds as UT?

KFC's Double Down: bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken

I will reimburse anyone here who eats one if they take a picture of themselves and the sandwich and post it here as proof.

To Learn more about this fantastic piece of American self-mutilation you can read about it on the Fort Worth Weekly- which I didn't know existed.

andrew bogut... ouch.