Imagine you didn’t know anyone in the Inner Circle. Not one. Pretty sad, right? Well, now imagine you met everyone for the first time. You were introduced to each for the very first time. They were just another shmuck at a crowded bar you met in passing. Who would you initially like, and who would you detest?

Butz – Overall pretty likeable and amusing, but he can be quite the pessimistic smart-ass.
Portillo- Has a jovial quality and will talk to anyone, but he will probably ask you to get him a drink, and then, maybe a ride a home.
Mazur- As cordial as they come, unless he’s drunk. In which case he may tell you he has a small child locked in his closet.
Chambers- Friendly to your face, but if you have a pink polo on and are talking politics he will rage on you.
Brown- He’s nice to everyone, but don’t get caught talking to his girlfriend… that’s grounds for a fight.
Kevin Bear- He may seem to be just your average sports-talking-super-fan… until you get him behind a keyboard.
Williams- He is the quintessential fun guy at the bar. But who likes the fun guy at the bar?
Faust- He’ll engage you in conversation about anything, but does he care? And what is that queer wearing?
Weiss- He is utterly unhateable, unless you hate strangers with Eastern European impersonations.
Miller- Maybe the worst first impressions of all time, but also the most entertaining bar patron to watch from afar.
Lubahn- Maybe the best first impressions of all time- everyone loves Brent. He’s from Minnesota! What a sweetie! Snake.

So, what do you guys think?


I do have a job. I just don’t care about it.